Misguided Ghosts
by sophiegranger57
Summary: After the War, Hermione runs away to Australia with more secrets than one. What happens when she returns three years later for Harry and Ginny's wedding - and not alone? A Harmony story.
1. A New Life

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling

**Author's Note: **this chapter got all screwed up somehow, my HTML was showing, but hopefully it's fixed now. If not, just let me know. my apologies. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! this is my first published harmony story (as I am a true dramione shipper) so please bear with me!

**Chapter One: A New Life**

_ Dear Hermione,_

_ Please come home for a visit! We all miss you so much. I don't think any of us have ever gone this long without seeing you since we met! The boys are sad without you - both of them. I actually don't know who's more torn up about it, my boyfriend or my brother! A few months without you is far more than enough._

_ Give your parents our love from England to Australia,_

_ All my love,_

_ Ginny_

**. . .**

_ Dear Hermione,_

_ It sounds beautiful over there! I do wish you'd let us come visit, but I understand if your parents aren't up to people from their old life. Things are strange here - Ron's moved into the flat with me and Harry. I think Mum's been driving him mad at the Burrow. I can't believe you've been gone for over a year already! We all wish you a very Happy Birthday! How does it feel to be 20?_

_ Write back soon!_

_ All my love,_

_ Ginny_

**. . .**

_ Dear Hermione,_

_ Harry's proposed! I'm so happy I can't even believe it. We haven't picked a date for the wedding yet, but once we do I'll let you know. We haven't seen you in two years. You can't miss our wedding, you know that! Please be my maid of honour, it would mean everything to me - and Harry as well. Speaking of Harry... he hasn't gotten any better, Hermione. Since the war... he hasn't gotten out of his slump. I see the possibility of him being happy sometimes, but... it's just not all there. Something is missing for him. I know he would listen to you if you wrote him. But aside from that, he's happy about the wedding, too. Mum's over the bloody moon, of course. I'll let you know the date as soon as I can._

_ Write me back,_

_ All my love,_

_ Ginny_

**. . .**

_ Dear Hermione,_

_ You haven't answered my letters in a while and it's worrying me! I hope you're alright. If you don't answer this one soon, I think I'm going to come over there to see you in person. The wedding is on September 1st, Hermione. Only twelve weeks away! You have to be there, it won't be the same without you._

_ Twelve weeks!_

_ All my love,_

_ Ginny_

**. . .**

_ Dear Hermione,_

_ Nine weeks! I'm so excited! Thanks for finally answering me, you were worrying everyone. I'm so happy you're coming. It's been over three years since we last saw you, and that's far too long. I can't believe I'm getting married, Hermione - and to the boy I've loved since I was eleven! Harry's still... you know. Maybe you coming home will help him. I really do hope so. I know he's excited about the wedding, too. Deep down in there._

_ See you next week! We're going dress shopping ASAP for you. I can't wait to show you mine. I've been waiting for you to get here so you, Luna, Angelina, Fleur and I can go bridesmaid dress shopping finally._

_ See you soon,_

_ All my love,_

_ Ginny_

**. . .**

Just reading Ginny's last letter made Hermione Granger hyperventilate. She had never planned on going home to England ever again. Of course, she had never told anyone from her life that.

Hermione set the letter down and took a deep breath, wiping her eyes. She was nowhere near ready to face her past - but she knew she didn't have a choice. There was no excuse for her to miss Harry and Ginny's wedding - none at all.

Almost immediately after the War, Hermione had gone to Australia without saying a word. She had eventually written Ginny, instructing her to tell everything that she was going to reverse her parent's memory charm and bring them home - of course, she never had any intention of bringing them home. Her parents, however, went happily to England a month or so later, leaving their home in Australia to Hermione after she had begged and begged for it.

July 1st, 2001.

Hermione hadn't seen any of her friends since 1998 - June 17th, to be exact. Even staying as long as that after the War had been pushing it for Hermione. Of course it had killed her to not stay and help her friends get through their trauma, but she hadn't been able to do it. Someone else needed her far more than they ever did - than they ever _would_.

Hermione got up and padded into the kitchen, beginning to boil the kettle to make herself some tea. As she waited for the water, she leaned against the counter, placing her head in her hands and taking a deep breath.

"Are you alright?"

Hermione turned around to find her roommate, Bliss Stevens, staring at her with concern. Hermione didn't even bother to lie - she knew it was written all over her face. She shook her head slowly and Bliss cocked her head to the side, rubbing her pregnancy swollen stomach.

"Oh, darling. It's going to be okay, I promise." she said, walking closer to Hermione.

"I don't know if it is. I'm going to make a real mess by going back there." Hermione said quietly.

"You don't know that." Bliss said. "You've just got to have a little faith in yourself and the situation, okay? I know how strong you are. You can do this."

Hermione chose not to answer. Bliss was always super supportive of Hermione, and she knew that she would not have made it through the last three years without her. Bliss had been the first person Hermione had met upon coming to Australia. They had gotten along immediately. She had been looking for a place to live, and Hermione hadn't been ready to live without the comfort of someone else so soon after the War.

Bliss was British, having left England before the true terrors of the War had begun. She had coincidentally gone to : with Fleur Delacour - in the same year as well. While they hadn't been friends, they had still known one another.

"Speaking of faith, where is Faith?" Hermione asked, referring to Bliss' daughter.

Bliss smiled. "Bedroom with Izzie."

Now Hermione smiled.

Izzie.

The reason Hermione had left home in the first place - the person who needed her more than anyone in the world.

Isobel, her daughter.

"Izzie was apparently showing Faith the _correct_ way to draw a cloud." Bliss said with a smirk.

Hermione shook her head and sighed, unable to control a small smile. Isobel reminded Hermione _so_ much of a younger her, it was laughable. Of course, she also reminded her an unbelievable amount of her father. Just the thought of Isobel's father made her heart hurt and her smile drop.

"Hey, hey. No frowning. There are bright sides to going home, okay?" Bliss said, placing a comforting hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Are you going to drop in on your Mum and Dad?"

Hermione nodded slowly. "Yeah. They said I'm not allowed to bring Isobel home without dropping in."

Her parents were the only ones from her old life that knew about her daughter - and Fleur Weasley, née Delacour due to unforeseen circumstances. But she had sworn never to say anything to anyone. It wasn't that Hermione was ashamed of her daughter - not that at all. She was unbelievably proud of her, and the best thing that had ever happened. Hermione wouldn't trade her for anything in the world.

But the circumstances hadn't been right. It had been all wrong. She couldn't mess up the father's life like that. There had been too many people that would have been hurt. Running away had been the only option - that way she could take all the hurt for herself.

Of course she had planned to introduce Isobel to her old friends at some point - just in the very very far future. She had only planned to go to the wedding originally and then leave immediately afterwards - but Ginny had convinced her to come back eight weeks early and help her prepare.

Hermione wasn't ready to introduce her daughter to everyone from her old life, especially right before Isobel's third birthday - but now she had no choice.

Isobel was born on September 21st, 1998, leaving her birthday to fall just 20 days after Ginny and Harry's wedding. She knew that she was absolutely going to cause rifts by dumping the truth on everyone - she just hoped it would die down before the wedding, as so not to steal Ginny's thunder.

"You're over thinking it, darling. You've already told them that you're coming. There's not much we can do about that, can we?" Bliss said.

Hermione shook her head. "I suppose not. I'm just so scared."

Bliss pulled out her wand and cast it at the kettle, summoning up a mug filled with tea and sending it to the kitchen table where she sat down and directed Hermione to do the same.

"Of course you are. Telling someone they've got a kid... well, that's not something that you've got to do everyday, is it?" Bliss sighed, rubbing her stomach.

Bliss was seven months pregnant now with her second child. Hermione had met her actually at the hospital for Wizards in the Maternity Ward. Faith, her daughter, was born a month before Isobel - and they had been inseparable since.

Hermione looked at Bliss and bit her lip. Bliss had been such a rock for her since she had come to Australia. She almost was scared to be without her. Hermione opened her mouth and closed it, she couldn't ask. It was too selfish.

"What?" Bliss sighed.

Hermione shook her head. "Nothing, nothing."

"Don't even try to lie, Hermione. What is it?" she asked again.

Hermione took a deep breath. _Couldn't hurt to ask_, she thought.

"Would you... would you like to come with me?" Hermione asked quickly. "You could bring Faith and you can still travel at seven months! You don't have to come for the whole time - just maybe for a week, or so..."

Bliss laughed and reached across the table to grab Hermione's hand, squeezing it once before letting it go.

"Alright, _relax_. Jesus, I've been waiting for you to ask me. I knew if I asked you to go, you'd say no. Of course I'll come. Faith'll love a trip." Bliss said with a grin. "It'll be nice to go back to England for a bit, I think."

Hermione's heart filled and she could hardly contain a squeal. "Oh my god, you're the best. I mean it."

"Yeah, yeah. I've already started packing. I knew you'd come around at some point." Bliss said with a wink. "And I'm staying the whole time, by the way. You're going to need some moral support when the wedding happens."

Hermione's spirits immediately fell once more.

The wedding.

She almost wished that she was being forced to go back for _anything_ else. She wasn't sure how she could sit back and watch Ginny marry...

Marry Isobel's father.

**. . .**

Harry Potter heard his fiancée knocking at the door, but made no movements to let her in.

"Harry!" she called again.

He knew he couldn't ignore her forever, but he wanted a few more moments to himself. He looked down, staring at the photographs spread out on his bed. Ginny couldn't come in and find him looking at them - not again.

"Harry?" she asked.

Reluctantly, Harry pulled out his wand and cast the photographs away.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Come in." he called out, trying to keep the dulness out of his voice.

Ginny walked in, a huge smile on her face and parchment in her hands.

"Hermione's bringing someone!" she exclaimed sitting down next to him. "She wrote me and asked if it was okay of her to bring a guest to our wedding. Who do you think it is?"

Harry shrugged, his heart stinging painfully. "I don't know. You know I haven't spoken to her since she left. You're the only one she keeps in contact with - and hardly even you."

Ginny's smiling face faltered and Harry immediately regretted his tone. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, kissing her temple.

"Yes, well, I'm so happy she's coming, Harry. Maybe we'll finally understand why she left." Ginny said.

Harry didn't say anything - he couldn't. Talking about Hermione's abrupt departure and silence was his absolute least favourite thing to do.

"She'll be here day after next, I think. I've told her they can stay here, so we've got company until the wedding." Ginny continued.

Harry's stomach turned at the thought of Hermione and some _guest_ staying in his flat for the next eight weeks. He wasn't sure he could handle it. In fact, he knew that he couldn't handle it.

"Did she say who she's bringing?" Harry asked, his voice hard.

"Not really. Just her name, which is..." Ginny said, looking down at the letter. "_Bliss_. God, what a funny name."

Relief filled Harry's entire being. _Bliss_, a girl. Harry pulled Ginny closer, relaxing ever so slightly. At least Hermione wasn't bringing her _boyfriend_, or something. Harry absolutely would not have dealt well with that. Of course, it wasn't as though he could do anything. She was coming specifically for his wedding.

"Why's she coming so early?" Harry sighed.

Ginny sat up and narrowed her eyes at him. "She's my _maid of honour_, Harry! She should've been here the whole bloody time. Besides, this is her _home_. Not Australia. Don't you miss her?"

Harry sat up as well. He could feel the anger building in his chest and knew it wasn't a good sign. He hated taking things out on Ginny - she didn't deserve it one bit.

"Of course I miss her, Ginny. She's my best friend - or she _was_. But she hasn't bothered to contact me after she left five seconds after the bloody _War_ ended." Harry snapped.

Ginny got up and crossed her arms, stepping towards the door.

"Well, that's not my fault now, is it?" Ginny said. "I know just as much as you do. She's never told me why she left. All that matters to me is that she's coming _home_. The rest we can deal with later."

Harry looked up at her, knowing she was right. He picked up his glass of FIreWhiskey from the bedside table, draining the rest of the glass before tapping it with his wand to refill it.

"Here. There's a letter for you, too." she said, tossing a piece of parchment down in front of him and leaving the room, slamming the door behind her.

Harry looked down, instantly recognizing the handwriting. Handwriting he hadn't seen in years. On the rare occasion Hermione actually wrote Ginny back, Harry refused to read it. But now, he could see this one was addressed to him.

_Dear Harry,_

_ Congratulations on the engagement. I'll be there in a few days with my housemate, Bliss. I'm sorry I haven't written, and that I left without a word. There's so much you don't know... so much I haven't told you, Harry. I know I can't make up for anything, but... at least I'll be home._

_ See you soon,_

_ Mione_

The minute his eyes started burning he downed the next glass of FireWhiskey.

_Mione_.

He was the only one who had ever called her that - and again, only in some moments. He wasn't sure how he would react to seeing her again. There was so much left unsaid between them, so much that she didn't know...

If she hadn't left, Harry knew that everything would be different.

He closed his eyes, picturing her long, cascading brown hair; her deep, intoxicating honey brown eyes; her pale cream coloured skin; the sprinkle of freckles on her nose; the sound of her laugh...

Harry decided to down the rest of the bottle.


	2. Before

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **GUYS I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH MY FORMAT, ALL I KNOW IS I'M SOOO SORRY AND THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME! it looks fine as I post it and then... my html is showing for no reason! hopefully this is better - i do hope it won't happen again and that it doesn't put you off the story. thanks for letting me know again - PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! my apologies again xx

**Chapter Two: Before**

**_December, 1997_**

It had been over a month since Ron had left them in the tent.

Neither had spoken of Ron since they'd left, and Hermione had no plans to. She didn't want to bring him up, not if Harry didn't.

Hermione was feeling the weight of all her pain crushing at her heart as she sat outside the tent, her wand clenched in hand with the Horcrux dangling around her neck.

She felt bitter and broken. She knew that it was the Horcrux bringing her down even more than she already was, but she couldn't help it.

"Hermione?" Harry called out from inside the tent.

Hermione rolled her eyes and stood up, walking back inside. "_What_, Harry?" she growled.

She watched his eyes widen as he place the book in his hand down on the table. He approached her slowly, taking cautious steps.

"I was going to ask you something, but... it can wait." he started. "Hermione, take off the locket."

Hermione shook her head. "I'm fine, Harry. It doesn't affect me as much as it affects you."

Harry shook his head back at her. "I don't care. Take it off. You've been wearing it the last two days. Take it off."

Hermione crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head quickly, taking a step away from Harry. He just walked closer to her, his arms outstretched to take the locket off from around her neck.

"Harry, stop!" she yelled, struggling weakly to push him away as his hands found the locket.

She struggled, squirming away from him as he managed to pull the locket over her head. As soon as it was lifted from her, she felt a weight escape her chest. While she still felt awful and broken, she felt free. Free from the heaviness of the Horcrux.

"Oh." she mumbled.

Harry attempted a weak smile at her as he placed the locket down on a chair next to them. Hermione felt a blush rise to her cheeks, as well as tears to her eyes.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yeah. Thanks." whispered Hermione.

She looked at Harry, her best friend, and suddenly felt incredibly sad. Here she was, making a big fuss about her broken heart, when she knew that he was suffering from the same.

The loss of Ginny, as well as the lack of Ron's presence had to be doing a number on him as well. Suddenly, Hermione pulled him into her arms, holding him tightly.

The pair were so lonely, _so_ lonely.

Hermione just wanted to feel whole again, even if only for a moment.

She pulled away ever so slightly, keeping her arms tight around him. She stared into his eyes, his familiar, loving and warm eyes. He stared back, as if he was peering into her heart and soul.

"Hermione..." he whispered, his voice husky.

Hermione felt her heart beat fast, as a swarm of ideas passed through her brain. Ideas that were wrong, ideas that wouldn't help, ideas that...

That would make her feel better.

**. . .**

Harry could feel Hermione's heart beat just as quickly as his own against his chest. He was suddenly all too aware of how close they were.

"I should um... I should..." Hermione started, her voice barely above a whisper.

He nodded, though made no moves to let her go. He couldn't help but notice that Hermione didn't make any movements either.

"Right..." he said softly.

Suddenly, before he knew what was happening, their lips were touching, hungry for one another. Starting out soft, it quickly became passionate. Harry pressed Hermione closer against him, getting a rush as she tightened her arms around him, pulling his hair with enthusiasm.

He pressed his tongue up against her lips, feeling a thrill as Hermione allowed his access. Suddenly he felt her hands trail along his stomach, ending up on his waist to slide up his sweater.

Harry took this as a sign to place his own hands on Hermione's stomach, he let his hands slide up her shirt, feeling her soft skin along the way. He felt her tremble, but made no movements to pull and walk away.

He pulled away from her lips long enough to lift her sweater over her head, leaving her in a light, cotton t-shirt. He pressed his lips to her neck, making a trail up and down. He heard her sigh, and he just pressed his body closer to hers.

He knew this was crazy, this was _Hermione_ for Merlin's sake.

But, he also knew that they both needed this. They both needed _someone._ And who better to take away the loneliness than their best friend?

**. . .**

Hermione didn't know who's lips had touched who's first, and in this moment, she didn't care. All she cared about was the fact that Harry was everywhere, slowly filling up her broken pieces, if only for a moment.

She stripped Harry of his sweater, leaving him shirtless before her. She was pleased as he peeled her t-shirt away from her. The two stood close, their arms draped loosely around each other, just staring.

Hermione knew where this was headed, and she knew that once they went there, there was no going back.

She knew it was potentially a bad idea, but strangely it felt right.

Right for the moment.

She pressed her mouth back to Harry's, kissing him hard and pressing herself against him. She felt his hands feel down her body, exploring her for the first time. They trailed down her exposed waist, his fingers smoothly soothing her. His lips went back to her neck, making a trail down her collarbone as his hands found their way to her breasts.

Hermione let out a sigh of satisfaction as he did so, and she started guiding him back to the bunk beds. Their lips touched again as they fell into the bed, Hermione landing lightly on top of Harry. She trailed her lips away from his, making a path downwards his neck, leading to his stomach.

She heard Harry attempt to hold back a sigh, and she smiled slightly as she kissed around his belly button before heading back up to his lips. Harry grabbed fistfuls of Hermione's hair as he kissed her, causing her to squeal as he flipped her around.

Now, he was on top of her, his mouth trailing down her body, swirling around her breasts and stomach. She felt his hands come behind her, and she arched her back in order to help him take off her bra.

No one had ever seen her this naked before. She felt as though she should be scared and self-conscious, but...

This was Harry, and he knew her better than anyone.

He slipped it gently off of her, discarding it to the floor and instantly capturing her mouth again. She slid her hands down his back, ending up at his waist. She fumbled with the buttons of his jeans. She felt him shake slightly and she paused.

**. . .**

Harry felt Hermione pause beneath him, and he instantly knew why. He couldn't stop himself from shaking as they went further.

Harry had never gone as far as they were about to go before.

Things with Ginny had gotten heated many a time, but he was still a virgin. And he honestly wasn't sure if Hermione was. Ron had never said anything.

But then... would he have?

What if it had been Viktor?

Harry shook these thoughts away from his head and focused on the girl below him. He took in her familiar, warm brown eyes. The small sprinkling of freckles on her nose. Her cheeks were flushed, standing out against her pale skin.

Harry knew that if he wanted this to continue, he needed to make the move.

He had been so lonely, and he knew Hermione was too, so he pressed his lips softly against hers.

This kiss was different.

He didn't know how, but it was.

Different from the rest.

Hermione pulled away momentarily from him before smashing her lips back to his, full force. She continued unbuttoning his jeans, and he helped her shimmy them off of his hips. He instantly started undoing Hermione's tight jeans as well, sliding them carefully over her hips, letting his fingertips trail along her thighs.

She trembled slightly underneath him as he felt her silk panties beneath his fingers. Her own hands slipped his boxers off of his body before he pressed himself even closer to her. She kissed his neck, trailing a pattern leading from his ear all the way to his collarbone. Hermione slipped his glasses off of his face, placing them gently on the ground.

**. . .**

Harry buried himself in Hermione's shoulder as he kissed it. She wrapped her arms tight around him as he pulled himself back to her lips.

"Merlin... 'Mione..." he mumbled.

Hermione felt her heart grow inside her as he called her 'Mione. 'Mione was something that hardly anyone called her. She had never had a nickname. Ron had occasionally called her it over the years, but had once stated that it felt weird coming out of his mouth.

_'Mione._

It sounded perfect and felt right coming out of Harry's mouth.

She gasped in delight as Harry was everywhere.

**. . .**

The next morning, Harry awoke feeling rested for the first time in what felt like ages. He felt warm, contently warm. He blinked open his eyes, taking in the blurry world around him.

For a moment, he wasn't sure where he was.

Then, the events from the previous night came rushing back in his mind like a whirlwind.

Hermione.

Him and Hermione.

He blinked his eyes a few times, realizing that the brunette witch known as his best friend was lying next to him. She was facing the other direction, but he soon realized that his arms were wrapped around her waist. He took in the sight of her curly, thick brown hair as it fell across her shoulders.

The placement of the blanket showed off her bare back and Harry felt a low stirring in the pit of his stomach. He sighed, thinking over last night, and how...

How _right_ it had felt.

But, it couldn't be right. The two of them had just been desperate and lonely, right?

**. . .**

Hermione felt Harry's eyes on her back. She didn't dare turn around, not yet.

She tried to keep herself and her thoughts together as she went over last night. She still was uncertain as to who had made the first move.

All she knew was that it had been wonderful.

And it had felt _right_, but she knew that it couldn't be.

He loved Ginny, and she loved Ron.

Didn't she?

Her and Ron hadn't even kissed before...

And now, Harry had taken her virginity.

As the thought crossed her mind, she felt a deep blush creep onto her cheeks. She was all too aware of his arms latched tightly around her waist and the closeness of him. She could feel his soft breath on her neck, and it was making her hairs stand on end, and in a good way.

She realized that she had no idea if Harry was even a virgin. She felt as though Ginny would have definitely told her if the two had...

What if he had slept with Cho Chang?

The thought made Hermione's stomach curl. There was no way. Their whole relationship - if one could call it that - was too messy for that to even be a possibility, Hermione knew that.

She suddenly felt a light kiss being pressed to her shoulder in such a way that made her breath catch in her throat.

"Hermione?" Harry whispered softly.

She slowly turned on her side, careful to keep the blankets around her. Harry's arms loosened around her waist, and she was suddenly surprised to see his face so close to hers.

"Hi." she whispered.

"Hi." he responded quietly.

Suddenly, one of Harry's hands appeared, tucking a stray strand of Hermione's hair behind her ear. The action was so tender and soft that Hermione almost wanted to cry.

"How... how are you?" Hermione decided to ask.

Harry let out a quiet laugh, one that Hermione couldn't help but mimic. She sound she heard coming out of her mouth sounded like _giggling_. And Hermione Granger prided herself off of not being a _giggling_ type of girl.

"I'm... yeah. You?" he said.

She nodded, a smile still on her lips. The two stared at each other for a long while, Harry's hand gingerly placed on her cheek.

"I'm going to make some tea, okay?" Hermione said in a hushed voice.

Harry nodded at her. She sat up, feeling Harry's eyes on her exposed back, which brought a blush back to her cheeks once more. She reached down on the floor and passed Harry his glasses.

"Thanks." he muttered quietly.

Hermione picked up her panties from the floor and quickly shimmied them onto herself. She lifted her bra and hooked it around her arms.

"Here." Harry's voice whispered in her ear.

She felt his hands touch her back, replacing her hands on the clasp of her bra. He did it up quickly for her, and let his hands gently glide down her back before falling away.

"Thank you, Harry." she whispered.

Harry sat beside her, the blanket from the bed draped over his waist. He leaned down, lifting up his grey, woolen sweater and placing it on Hermione's lap.

"Harry, you don't -"

"You can wear it. For right now. It's loads warmer than the little one you've got. And I'm not cold. But, I know you'll be cold within a matter of minutes." Harry said softly.

Hermione nodded, slipping the comfy sweater over her head and pulling it down. She knew that when she stood up, the sweater would go past her bum, due to the size difference between the two.

Hermione looked at Harry and decided to be brave. She knew they needed to talk about it.

"Harry, we..." she started.

"I know."

"There's Ginny in your heart."

"And there's Ron in yours."

Silence passed through them as they stared at each other. Surprisingly though, it wasn't uncomfortable. Hermione moved closer to him, running one hand down his bare chest before coming up again and running her thumb gently over his scar.

"Had you ever... done that before?" she asked bravely.

He shook his head quickly, sending relief through Hermione's body. "No. Had you?"

"No."

They shared a smile, both taking in the realization that they were no longer virgins. They had lost it to each other. And that felt perfectly okay with Hermione.

"'Mione..." he started.

Hermione's heart stirred at the use of the nickname as she had a flash of the night before, when he'd been calling it out.

**. . .**

Harry knew Hermione was right. There was Ginny in his heart, and there was Ron in hers.

But he couldn't deny to himself that there was something in his heart for Hermione...

Or maybe just his body.

He loved her, but in the way that one loves a best friend.

Right?

"Yes?" she whispered, sounding oddly breathless.

He shifted closer to her on the bed, taking in the appearance of her wearing his loose sweater and smiled softly to himself.

"Hermione, I know that we're not... we're not going to be anything. We can't be anything. There's... other people, and there's... it's not the right time. You know this, right?" Harry started, letting the words spill out of him.

Hermione nodded instantly, as though she had been nodding before he'd even started speaking.

"Of course, Harry." she said. "I knew that before we let this happen."

He nodded, taking a deep breath.

"'Mione... I'm going to kiss you. Is that okay?" Harry said, his voice steady, yet quiet.

Harry watched as emotions passed through Hermione's eyes. He moved closer to her as he waited for her reply. He lifted up his hand to tuck a strand of Hermione's hair behind her ear once more.

"Yes, that's okay." she whispered.

Harry nodded, feeling an explosion of emotions in his stomach and heart. He leaned to her, one hand cupping her cheek, and the other wrapped around her waist, pulling her to him.

As they kissed, Harry felt everything all at once. He felt happy, he felt sad, he felt spirited, he felt scared, he felt safe.

This was Hermione.

**. . .**

As they kissed, Hermione made sure to remember every moment of it. She wanted to remember the tenderness of this morning, and the night before. She needed something happy to call upon just in case she didn't make it out of the War alive. She wanted to die with a happy memory in her head.

And while this was all very confusing and lonely, it was also happy.

As Harry pulled away, Hermione felt disappointed that it hadn't lasted longer. She rested her forehead against his for a moment before pressing her lips to his one final time.

**. . .**

**_February, 1998_**

Hermione knew she couldn't put it off anymore.

She just didn't want to admit it to herself - she didn't want confirmation of what had to be the truth. She shivered under her blanket and wiped her tears, hearing Ron and Harry walking back to the tent.

"Well, that's the thing, you know. I don't know where -" Harry said.

Both boys stopped as they caught sight of Hermione's tearstained face. She locked eyes with Harry for just a moment before looking down at her lap.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Ron said, rushing over to her.

He had been extra tentative since coming back. She knew that he felt extremely guilty about leaving - probably about as guilty as her and Harry felt about their night together. Their night that they had never discussed once since the morning after.

"Nothing. I'm just sleep deprived." she lied, getting up with the blanket still around her. "I think I'll go for a walk, tire myself out a bit."

"Do you want company?" Harry offered.

_Yes, yes more than ever_, she thought.

"No, that's okay. You lot just stay here." she said, faking a smile and heading out the tent.

Ever since their night, she couldn't shake her feelings for Harry. It had just felt so _right_. It had her thinking about every interaction between them throughout the years. She was questioning _everything_. Hermione walked quickly until she knew that Harry and Ron couldn't be watching her anymore. She stepped behind a tree, pulling Harry's Invisibility Cloak out from beneath the blanket. She covered herself, trying desperately to hold in her sobs.

The signs were all there...

She was tired and ill all the time, especially after eating certain foods. Her sense of smell was _so_ strong, she couldn't handle Ron's _shampoo_ of all things. Her breasts were sore, and on top of everything... she was late. Her last period had been in November, _before_ their night together.

It was February.

Hermione pulled out her wand, holding to her abdomen. She whispered the spell, forcing herself to keep her eyes open. She knew if it was a blue glow, she had nothing to worry about. If it was gold...

She looked down, taking a deep breath as she took in the sight of the golden aura surrounding her.

**. . .**

**_May, 1998_**

"Hermione, hurry up for Godsakes!" Ron yelled.

Hermione looked down at her stomach from the hidden bathroom in the tent.

Her ever growing stomach.

Five months, she couldn't hide it anymore. She was using a concealment charm so Ron and Harry wouldn't notice, because she knew that they would. She had always been a thin girl, at least since around Third Year after losing her childhood weight.

Standing in the bathroom without her concealment charm...

She could hardly believe it. She placed a hand on her stomach, feeling her baby kick. It was only the second time she had felt her baby around. The first time, she had been in the middle of putting up enchantments at their last location. Immediately, she had started bawling her eyes out, having to run into the tent bathroom to feel her stomach. She was certain that Harry and Ron thought she was madder than ever.

"I'm coming!" she shouted, her voice quaking.

They were moving places again, and Hermione couldn't stop crying. She was _so_ bloody emotional from all the hormones swirling around her that she couldn't stop crying. Now with her little one kicking... she was worse than ever.

"Hermione? You've been in there twenty minutes now. I'm coming in." Harry said.

Hermione quickly cast the concealment charm on her stomach, it taking form just before Harry walked through the door. She realized this was probably the closest they had been to each other since their night - without Ron standing there, anyways.

"What's going on with you, 'Mione?" he asked, his voice soft.

She shook her head, wiping her eyes. He touched her cheek, forcing her to look up at him. Her heart flipped at the use of the nickname, giving her instant flashbacks to their night.

"Where's Ron?" she asked.

"He's outside. Wants to take the tent down. Why are you crying again?" he asked, still in his soft voice.

Hermione just shook her head. Harry sighed, stepping closer and pressing his lips to her forehead.

"Come on." he whispered.

Hermione wanted more than anything to tell Harry the truth, that she was carrying his child and... that she was undoubtably in love with him. Her feelings for Ron were all but gone - they hadn't felt anything near the way she felt about Harry.

But of course, she couldn't tell him.

Not now.

Not during the middle of everything.

**. . .**

**_May, 1998_**

"Please, please Fleur. Help me, please." Hermione begged.

Fleur looked the most terrified Hermione had ever seen her. Hermione couldn't stop crying. She was lying down on Fleur and Bill's bed at Shell Cottage. She knew that Ron and Harry were waiting just outside the door, desperate for news of her.

"I don't understand, 'ermione. What can I do?" she asked, sitting down.

She was so terrified - not for herself, but for her baby. The Cruciatus Curse... she had no idea what it had done to her baby. Was it even still alive?

"I'm p-p-pregnant, Fleur. I'm five months pregnant." she whispered, casting the counter-curse for the concealment charm. "Help me, please."

Fleur gasped audibly and sat down next to Hermione, smoothing her hair back on her forehead. Fleur had never been incredibly loving or nice to Hermione, but in that moment, Hermione could see an instant change.

"Don't worry, ma chèrie. I will get someone trustworthy 'ere immediately. Eez that okay?" Fleur whispered.

Hermione nodded. "Anything. I j-j-just need to make sure my b-b-baby is okay. I don't care about me - just - just the baby."

Fleur nodded, standing up. Hermione grabbed ahold of her hand, stopping her from moving any farther.

"Fleur... Harry - Ron - they don't know. They've got no idea. Pl-pl-please don't tell _anyone_, you swear? Just - just whoever you're getting to look at me. Please." she begged.

Fleur immediately nodded. "Of course, 'ermione. Our secret. We just need to make you well, oui? Check on le petit bébé in there."

Hermione nodded. Fleur tucked Hermione in under the covers and cast another concealment charm on her stomach. Hermione's entire body was still hurting and she felt weaker than ever.

All she wanted was for her baby to move, to kick, to do _something_ so she knew that he or she was still alive and moving in there.

"They boys are going to want to come in while I'm gone. I am afraid I cannot deny eet to them." Fleur whispered.

Hermione nodded. She felt herself grow fainter and fainter - she couldn't argue. Once she was gone, Harry and Ron were at her side. Harry was still covered in Dobby's blood. Ron was paler than ever. She was sure she had never seen either one of them look so scared.

"'Mione, you're going to be fine, okay? You're going to be just fine, I promise you that." Harry whispered immediately sitting next to her and taking her hand.

"Harry's right, Hermione. Everything's gonna be great." Ron said, taking her hand on the other side.

Hermione wanted to scream - scream that nothing would ever be okay again if her baby wasn't okay. If her and Harry's baby didn't make it... Hermione was sure she wouldn't either. She was scared out of her mind, but she already loved the child. She couldn't bear to lose him or her now.

**. . .**

"You mean it? You're sure?" Hermione asked, an hour or so later when the Healer smiled at her.

"Yes. She is perfectly fine, I promise you." the Healer, Fleur's friend from Beauxbatons, said.

"_She?_" Hermione gasped.

She nodded. "Fleur assumed you'd want to know the sex if everything was okay."

"She's okay? She's okay and-and-and... she's a girl? I'm having a girl?" Hermione whispered.

"Yes. Yes to both. You've got a strong kid in there, Hermione. There could have been damage to her, but she looks perfectly healthy as of now. Of course, try and rest as much as you can over the next little while. Both for yourself and your baby. Gotta keep Mum healthy, too. What you've been through... it's gonna take some recovery time." she explained kindly.

Hermione starting sobbing in relief then, rubbing her stomach tenderly.

"Th-thank you. Thank you so much." she whispered.

Fleur turned to her Healer friend and held out her wand. "You know what we're going to have to do, oui?"

She nodded and Hermione watched as the two Disapparated before her. Hermione knew that Fleur was wiping her memory - for Hermione's safety. But Hermione couldn't think about that. All she could think of was her baby and how thankful she was that she - _she_ - was alright.

That, and the fact that her baby's father was in the next room over without a clue that his daughter was just in the next room, waiting to be born.

**. . .**

**_June 2, 1998_**

"Harry, wait!" Hermione begged, running along the castle ruins after him.

It was hard for her to run - to keep up with Harry and Ron and everybody. Of course, they didn't know that. She had the charm to hide her six months pregnant stomach, but that didn't mean that she didn't feel it.

"Harry, please!" Hermione moaned, stopping out of breath.

Harry finally turned around. The two were alone in the hall, Ron having been with his family, mourning the loss of Fred. The tiredness was in his eyes - she could see it. He was ready to give up, he was ready to give himself up.

"You can't go in there, Harry. Please don't." she whispered.

She knew that he was heading to the Forest to hand himself over to Voldemort.

"Hermione..." he said, walking close to her. "I have to. You know why."

Hermione _did_ know why. She had figured it out slowly a while ago - she just hadn't wanted to say it.

"I'm a Horcrux, 'Mione. I have to be destroyed." he said softly.

She knew that he was right. The only way to kill Voldemort was to destroy all of the Horcruxes and... Harry was one of them.

"I'll go with you." she whispered.

Harry's eyes widened and he shook his head immediately, reaching forward and taking her hands in his. She saw his eyes fill with tears and she knew that he was much more frightened than he was allowing everyone to think.

"No. No, kill the snake. Kill the snake, and then it's just him. _You_ can do it, 'Mione. You and Ron. You two can end this and live happily ever after together. I _know_ you can." he said, his voice breaking.

Hermione shook her head, placing a hand on her stomach. All she wanted to do was scream at him, scream _I love you and I'm having your child_. But she knew that she couldn't. If Harry knew about their baby now, he would do absolutely everything to protect Hermione instead of focusing on Voldemort, and she couldn't have that.

It would ruin everything for him.

It would ruin every chance of winning.

It was why she hadn't told him yet in the first place.

She knew how important family was to Harry - how he would do _anything_ for his family.

She couldn't do it. She had to make the right choice for Harry's sake. She had to keep quiet, no matter how much she wanted not to.

As for living happily ever after with Ron... she didn't want that whatsoever. When he had kissed her earlier, all she had felt was shock. She had sworn Harry had seemed almost angry at it, but she couldn't be sure. It had all happened so quickly.

"We'll kill him, Harry. We'll get him." she whispered, moving closer to him and pressing her forehead against his.

Little did he know, her expansive stomach was pressing against him as well.

"As for living happily ever after... well, that's not possible without you." she whispered.

She pulled back slightly, looking at Harry as he cupped her face in his hands. She felt butterflies flutter about in her stomach, as well as her baby kicking. It was as if her baby _knew_ that her father was there, so close yet so far away.

"You can have it, Hermione. You can and you will." he said.

"I can't, Harry." she said, tears streaming down her cheeks. "There isn't any happily ever after without you. There can't be. Not for me."

She supposed it didn't matter entirely what she said about her feelings to Harry at the moment. She knew that he would go to Voldemort anyways. He had to.

"'Mione..." he whispered.

And suddenly, his lips were on hers. Hermione had doubted that she would ever feel Harry's kiss again, and now that she was... she knew it was the best thing she could possibly imagine. It felt so incredibly right. Comparing this to kissing Ron earlier was almost laughable. There wasn't a spark between her and Ron.

But her and Harry...

There were fireworks.

She moved into the kiss, deepening it, trying to pour every ounce of love she had for him into it. She wasn't sure exactly why he was doing this - she had seen him kiss Ginny quickly on the stairs earlier, it almost breaking her heart in two - but she supposed that she didn't care why. Just the fact that he _was_ doing it was enough. It was enough for that moment. It was enough for right now.

Hermione wasn't prepared to make it out of this alive, but she prayed that she would. Not for herself, but for her baby. She had given explicit instructions to Fleur - if Hermione was killed or gravely injured and Fleur was near, she had to try and get the baby out as fast as possible. She had to give her baby a fighting chance. If Hermione was killed, her baby still had a few minutes of life left. Her baby still had a chance.

Fleur had promised her that she would do her best.

Hermione knew she had to stay near Fleur for the rest of the Battle, just in case.

If Harry and herself couldn't live, she wanted her baby to at least get a chance. She wanted her baby brought into a better world than the current one she was in. She wanted her baby girl to have happiness. She wanted her to have joy and love and laughter. If Hermione didn't make it, Fleur was going to raise her with Bill. Hermione had told her that as well, and she had agreed.

Hermione kissed and kissed and kissed Harry. She could taste her own tears mingling with his, dripping onto their lips. When they pulled away, it was all too short. She threw her arms around him, hugging him as hard as she possibly could and crying into her shoulder.

"God, I love you, Hermione. I fucking love you so much." he whispered.

Hermione pulled back to look at him with widened eyes. She had _no_ idea what way he meant it - the way he had _always_ meant it? Like a friend? Like family?

Or... or the way Hermione meant it?

"I love you, Harry." she whispered back, staring deep into his green eyes to remember them for the last time.

He pressed his lips back to hers for a moment before kissing her forehead and walking briskly away.

Hermione sat on the stone floor and cried.

**. . .**

** _June 17th, 1998_**

This was it.

Hermione had to tell him.

She had to tell Harry everything.

Well - _maybe_ everything.

She had to tell him the truth about their baby. She had to ask him what he had meant by _I love you_ before going into the Forest. If it was what she hoped - the way it really had sounded he meant it - than she would tell him just how much she loved him, too.

Since the end of the War, everything had been so hectic. Funerals upon funerals, so many tears and sleepless nights. Hermione had spent the first week sleeping in a bed at Grimmauld Place with both Ron and Harry. It was awkward, yet necessary. None of them could be alone. Ron was clinging to Hermione, and Hermione was afraid to be away from Harry and lose her nerve to tell him.

She had been building up to this moment - she knew how to explain why she hadn't told him. She was _beyond_ nervous, but she knew she had to do it.

She walked down the hall of Grimmauld Place, heading to the sitting room. She heard voices just before she reached it, causing her to pause just out of sight.

"I just - I think I need some time to figure things out." Harry said, his voice hoarse.

"So do I, Harry. I'm... I'm a bloody mess! M-m-my brother -" Ginny said, her voice breaking. "R-Remus - Tonks - everyone - I can't... I can't do this alone. I need you, Harry. I need you more than ever, and I've _never_ told you I need you before. I've never told _anyone_ I need them before, but I _need_ you."

Hermione's breath caught in her throat. She peered around the corner, finding Harry and Ginny standing in the middle of the room. Ginny was facing the opposite direction and she knew that Harry couldn't see her. His glasses were on top of his head as he wiped his eyes - they were red with tears.

"Ginny, I'm here for you. Of course I'm here for you. You know that." he whispered, pulling her into a hug.

Tears flooded Hermione's eyes. Clearly, she had been wrong. Harry hadn't meant he loved her the way she loved him. She took a step back.

"I love you, Harry. I love you so much." Ginny whispered.

When Hermione looked back, they were locked at the lips.

She couldn't watch anymore. Immediately, she headed upstairs to her room. She zoomed about, packing up everything she could find. She had to get out of there. She needed to go somewhere where she could start a new life for her and her baby without fucking up everyone else's that she cared about.

A new life - a _better_ life, without all of Hermione's baggage and War memories.

She walked over to the fireplace in her room and stepped in with her bags. She knew where she was going, where she _did_ have family - whether they knew her or not.

Australia.


	3. After

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **thank you so much for reading and for being patient with my formatting problems. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW ! xx

**Chapter Three: After**

"Wait, she'll be here _today_?"

Harry merely nodded at Ron.

According to Ginny, Hermione and her friend Bliss would be arriving anytime between now and the evening. And then Hermione would be staying just a room over from him for the next eight weeks - at least.

"Harry, I really don't know what to do with that information." Ron said, sitting down on the sofa next to him and putting his head in his hands.

"Yeah, tell me about it." Harry said bitterly.

When Hermione had left, Ron had completely lost it. His drinking had gotten out of control, he got into many random bar fights, he continually rowed with _everyone_, until one day a few months later, he had broken down and cried to Harry and Ginny about how much he was in love with Hermione.

Of course, that just made Harry feel guiltier than ever.

He had gotten back on track - far better than Harry had, at least. He had a steady job, he'd had a few girlfriends that Harry had thought he genuinely _liked_. He had been okay. Harry wasn't sure what was going to happen when Hermione returned.

Harry, on the other hand, had never gotten himself back on track. He blamed it on the War - which wasn't an entire lie. The War had changed him. He was worn and broken down and torn apart with guilt. He blamed everything, every loss, on himself. And then Hermione leaving - his true best friend, his only constant, the person he _knew_ he was truly in love with... it had torn him apart in a way he was sure he could never recover from.

"She didn't even -" Ron started.

"Say goodbye. I know." Harry said through gritted teeth.

The fact that Hermione had left without telling anyone but _Fleur_ of all people had completely baffled him. He wasn't even sure Hermione liked Fleur.

"What am I supposed to do, Harry? When I see her? She... she bloody broke my heart in two, didn't she?" Ron groaned, leaning back on the couch.

_You're not the only one_, Harry thought.

Harry had never gotten over her. And he was certain he never would. Of course, he loved Ginny. Just not in the way he loved Hermione. Ginny had needed him, and he had needed _someone_ and he had just never left her. Ron had asked him one day last year if he was going to propose to her and Harry had said yes without really thinking about it. Next thing he knew, Mrs. Weasley was tearfully giving him a family heirloom ring to give to her and now he was eight weeks away from their wedding.

"She didn't even say goodbye." Ron repeated. "Not even to _us_. I thought she'd have come back after reversing their memory charms. I mean, this is her home. We're her - her best mates or family or whatever the hell we were to her."

Harry nodded, taking a long sip of his FireWhiskey. It was one o'clock and this was his third strong drink of the day. He was hardly feeling it yet.

"I don't think I can be here when she gets here. I'll have to come over later." Ron decided, standing up and beginning to pace around the living room of Harry and Ginny's flat.

Harry just nodded again. He couldn't say anything. All he could think of was his and Hermione's night in the tent together, and their kiss before he had gone to Voldemort during the Final Battle. When he had confessed his love to her.

Everything had been so chaotic in the weeks following. He had planned to tell her just how much he had meant it, but they had _never _gotten a single moment alone. He had thought he would have had more time. He never had thought that Hermione would have left. She was the only one who never had...

"Ginny's still having that dinner for her, yeah?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded again, taking another drink. He heard Ron groan loudly and he looked up to find his eyes narrowed at him.

"Mate, would you bloody _say_ something? You're quiet as all hell here. What's up?" Ron asked frantically.

"This isn't easy for me either, Ron. It's Hermione. She was family and she left without anything. Now she's coming back and staying in my house. I don't really know what to do with that." Harry said dryly.

Ron sat down next to him and took the drink out of his hand, placing it on the mahogany coffee table in front of them. Harry rolled his eyes behind his glasses and looked at him.

"Maybe she'll be able to help you out a bit, mate. You know, sort you out. Hermione was always good with talking about things. Well, with you at least. Me and her... we couldn't get anywhere without arguing." Ron sighed, clapping a hand on Harry's shoulder.

_Sort you out_, Ron's words echoed in his head.

Unfortunately, he hadn't been the first one to say it. That was all anyone had been saying since Hermione had told Ginny she was coming. It was evident to everyone that Harry had never recovered from the War. Harry wasn't entirely sure if he was ever going to recover.

He drank too much, he hardly slept, he got angry too quickly, he cried, he cursed, he was rude... he was empty. He was completely unlike himself and he hated it. But there was no way for him to snap out of it. The memories of the War and the absence of Hermione were everywhere.

"Yeah, maybe." Harry said, grabbing his drink and downing the rest of it.

Suddenly, the fireplace burst into flames and Harry felt his heart stop. Ginny almost always Apparated into their house - which meant that it had to be Hermione.

He wasn't ready for this. He wasn't anywhere _near_ ready for this. Especially without Ginny being there. He had hoped that Ginny would greet her and take over. But she was still at the store...

"Shit, shit, shit." Ron cursed under his breath.

He raised his eyebrows in confusion and looked at Ron when a very pregnant, short girl with bleach blonde hair - almost as light as Fleur's - walked out, holding a toddler in one arm and a shrunken down suitcase in the other

"Hello." she said, a small blush rising to her cheeks as she made her way over to them, placing her suitcase on the floor. "I'm Hermione's friend, Bliss."

Harry nodded slowly. "Right, hi."

"Yeah, um, hi." Ron said.

Harry looked at Ron, finding that he was already blushing like mad.

_Great_, Harry thought, _he's freaking out about Hermione and he's already attracted to her pregnant friend._

"Introductions would be nice, boys." Bliss said with a wink. "But, I don't think we need them, really. You're Ron Weasley."

She pointed to Ron, who blushed even harder.

"And you, of course, are Harry Potter."

Harry just nodded stiffly. He stared at the shy girl in Bliss's arms, finding her already staring at him. He attempted a smile at her, but she didn't return it.

"Mummy's got to put you down now, love, alright?" Bliss said to the girl. "I'm sorry. Once your brother or sister is here, Mummy's gonna pick you up loads more again, okay?"

The girl nodded as Bliss placed her down. Immediately she toddled over to Ron, holding up her arms. Bliss laughed instantly as Ron looked down bewildered at the child. Ron was always tentative around children - namely Teddy Lupin and Victoire Weasley.

"Go on, pick her up. She won't bite, promise." Bliss teased with a wide smile.

Ron lifted her off the ground and held her somewhat awkwardly in his arms. "I'm Ron."

Harry laughed at his friend quietly. It was so obvious that he had no idea what to do at all.

"That's my daughter, Faith. Faith, can you say hi to Ron?" Bliss said.

"Hi." Faith mumbled before leaning into Ron's shoulder.

Bliss sighed. "Sorry, she's a bit shy. Anyways, Hermione'll be along in a minute. It's a bloody battle to get that one to leave the house, I tell you. She won't travel anywhere without her books, even if she's not reading them at the mo'."

Harry needed another drink. All he could think of was Hermione's books in that beaded bag she had carried their things in during their time spent looking for Horcruxes.

"Though, I expect you lot would know that even better than me." Bliss said, laughing nervously.

"Mummy, I want to play." Faith said, her voice suddenly much louder. "I wanna play with Isobel! When's Isobel coming?"

Isobel?

Ron and Harry shot another confused look at one another before both looking back at Bliss who was blushing deeply now, rubbing one hand on her stomach.

"Uh... Isobel will be along in a minute, darling. Just hang on." Bliss said.

Before Harry could ask who exactly Isobel was, the fireplace erupted into flames again and Harry's heart stopped.

Her brown hair was longer, she was slightly more tanned than usual, her eyes were shining and he swore she was thinner. She had one shrunken down suitcase, just like Bliss and -

And a toddler on her hip.

He looked between Faith, Bliss and the kid in Hermione's arms.

Both Faith and Bliss had almost white blonde hair - the girl with Hermione had dark brown, almost black hair. The resemblance between Faith and Bliss was evident, whereas the other one looked nothing like Bliss.

Harry's stomach dropped as he caught eyes with Hermione. She was already looking directly at him as she stepped out of the fire. The girl moved in her arms, resting her head on Hermione's shoulder as Hermione rubbed her back, as if she'd done it a million times.

"H-hi." Hermione stammered, stepping out of the fireplace.

Neither Harry nor Ron said anything. He saw Ron place Faith down out of the corner of his eye, but he couldn't turn to look at him. He couldn't stop looking at Hermione.

"Well... I think I'll take the kids into the other room, yeah? Yeah." Bliss said. "You lot have _a lot_ to talk about."

Hermione tore her eyes away from Harry's and put her attention on the girl, shifting her slightly. She lifted up her head and looked at Hermione.

"Alright, you're going to go play with Faith, okay? Mummy's got to do some grown-up things. Auntie Bliss is going to play with you." Hermione said softly.

_Mummy_.

Harry sat down on the couch again. He knew he couldn't stand anymore. Not when the child turned around and looked about the room. Not when he saw her eyes.

Not when he saw the same eyes he saw everyday in the mirror on the small girl.

"Isobel, is that okay?" Hermione said.

_Isobel_.

Isobel with his eyes.

There was no mistaking that those were _his_ eyes. _His_ eyes that he had inherited from _his_ mother.

"Yes, Mummy." Isobel said as Hermione placed her down on the ground.

As Isobel walked to Bliss, he caught sight of her eyes again. There was no mistaking the shade of green. Her dark hair. Her pale skin. Harry looked up at Hermione from his seat. She was looking at him again.

Yep, Harry needed another drink.

**. . .**

Hermione really hadn't counted on Harry and Ron being there.

She had been expecting _Ginny_.

Not her two former - former? - best friends, who absolutely had a much more complicated title than that.

She couldn't keep her eyes off of Harry. She had watched as he looked at Isobel and paled, having to actually _sit_ down. She knew that he had seen her eyes. Her eyes were unmistakably his. Lily's eyes. Hermione was already regretting having come. This was probably the worst decision she had ever made.

Was she really supposed to lie to Harry about this?

But, if she didn't... she ran the possibility of ruining Ginny's wedding. Not that Hermione ever thought Harry would leave Ginny for her, but how would Ginny feel about being a step-mother to Hermione and Harry's kid? How would she feel knowing that her maid-of-honour had a kid with the groom?

What the hell had Hermione been thinking saying yes?

"A-are you two just going to keep staring at me?" Hermione asked weakly.

Ron looked fitter. He looked stronger, much more built. He also looked slightly aged. Harry looked aged as well. He looked incredibly exhausted and deflated. His eyes were probably the most lifeless she had ever seen them.

"Mummy. You're a Mum." Ron said flatly, sitting down next to Harry.

Hermione just nodded slowly. "I am a Mum."

"A Mum with _who_? Is it some Australian bloke?" Ron asked.

At least Ron hadn't picked up on Isobel's eyes yet. That would be another disaster altogether. Still, Hermione couldn't stop looking at Harry.

She shook her head. "We're not talking about him right now."

Hermione tore her eyes away from Harry's to look at Ron. His face was red and he looked more confused than ever. He also looked slightly devastated and possibly angry. Then again, what had she been expecting?

She had showed up after no contact for three years and no goodbye before that with a kid.

"Hermione, I think you owe us a bit of a bloody explanation." Ron said.

Hermione nodded slowly, but made no movements to speak. Ron sighed, standing up and approaching her. He surprised her by reaching out and touching her shoulder gently, running his hand down her arm to grab her hand and squeeze it.

"You're really here." he whispered.

She just nodded back at him as he dropped her hand.

"I... I have to go. I can't... I don't know what to do with you being here. I was about to leave before you got here, but... yeah. I'll be back for dinner, okay?" Ron said.

Before Hermione could say anything else, Ron Disapparated leaving just her and Harry.

Harry.

She looked back at him, finding him still staring at her with his mouth slightly agape. She sat down on the couch, about as far away from him as she could get. She had no idea what to say. She knew that he had to make the first move, steer the conversation in whichever direction he needed.

"How old is she?" Harry asked, his voice weak, after a long moment of silence.

"Harry -" she started.

"How old is she?" Harry repeated, his voice thundering and loud, causing her to jump.

Hermione took a deep breath, already feeling tears prick in her eyes.

"Sh-she'll be three on September 21st." Hermione whispered.

Harry looked at her, his eyes filled with tears. He shook his head, his mouth slightly open.

"Hermione..." he began, his voice breaking.

She bit her lip, trying to hold in her own tears. Before she could say anything, she heard the crack of Apparation, followed by a squealing red head appearing in her line of sight.

"Hermione!" Ginny screamed.

Hermione stood up, forcing a smile onto her face as she tried to stop shaking. Ginny hugged her tightly and Hermione hugged her back just the same. Who knew when Ginny would _ever_ want to hug her again after everything unfolded?

"Oh my god, I can't believe you're here. It's been so long, my god." Ginny said, speaking in her fast mannered way.

Hermione tore her eyes away for a single moment to look at Harry. He had his head in his hands, leaning forward on his knees.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry about that." Hermione started slowly. "It's... yeah. It's been crazy."

"I'm just happy you're here. Planning a wedding with a groom who doesn't care about any of the details is a _nightmare_, I'm telling you. I've needed my maid-of-honour." Ginny said, smiling and pulling Hermione back into a tight hug.

Harry lifted his head and looked at her, shaking his head in what Hermione knew was disbelief. Would Ginny put it together as quickly as Harry had? Or would she assume it was just a coincidence? She severely doubted that Harry had ever told her about their night in the tent - the same with Ron.

"Where's Bliss? I'd love to meet her." Ginny said.

"She's in another room with-with the children." Hermione said.

"The children? She's got kids?" Ginny said with a smile. "Oh that's lovely!"

"She's got one daughter and another kid on the way and... and my daughter. My daughter's in there with her." Hermione explained slowly.

Ginny's mouth fell open. "_What?_ You've got a _daughter_?"

Hermione just nodded as Ginny all but jumped up and down.

"I've got to meet her. Please, let's go." Ginny said, dragging Hermione away.

As she went, she caught one last look of Harry. He was staring at her, now on his feet as tears streamed down his cheeks and he shook his head. She just stared back at him, unsure of what to say or do.


	4. Wounded Words

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **I love the reception this story has been getting already! I really am glad you're enjoying it - here's another chapter! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx love to you all

**Chapter Four: Wounded Words**

Harry couldn't breathe.

Still later that night, he couldn't breathe.

All he could see was Isobel and Hermione's face that told him everything he needed to know. He hadn't been able to get a moment alone with Hermione since she had arrived, as Ginny had hogged them all. He had wanted to see Isobel again, but he had stayed as far away from her as possible. He was so bloody terrified.

September 21st was almost exactly nine months after him and Hermione had slept together. He thought back to those months they had spent before the Final Battle, when Hermione had been acting so _weird_. She had never stopped crying, and was always alarmingly tired. He had attributed it to the toll of the War and what they were actually trying to do finally getting to her.

Could she really have been pregnant all that time without him knowing?

"Oh Hermione, it really is so good to see you." Luna said in her dreamy voice.

Ginny's dinner for Hermione consisted of: himself, Ginny, Ron, Luna, Neville, Fleur, Bill, George and Angelina.

"It's good to see all of you, too. I'm sorry I've been so out of touch since I left. I just... it was so complicated. But, I'm here now, right?" Hermione said.

Harry could tell that what Hermione was saying was perfectly constructed in her head. She had clearly thought out her words beforehand. No one else seemed to notice, however. Harry hadn't said a word throughout the entire dinner. The only other person who had hardly spoken was Ron.

"She is beautiful, 'ermione. Truly beautiful." Fleur said, grinning at Hermione from across the table.

"Thanks, Fleur." Hermione said, smiling genuinely for a moment.

Everyone murmured their agreement about Isobel. Harry just kept staring at his plate.

"Harry, stop it." Ginny whispered, placing a hand on his knee.

He looked at her, narrowing his eyes. "What?"

"Pretend you're not mad at her for _five_ minutes." Ginny sighed.

"I'm not -"

But he stopped. He _was_ angry at Hermione, except... he wasn't sure if he _knew_ how to mad at Hermione. One look at her, and all of his anger faded away. He was just still in shock that she was actually there, sitting two seats over from him. That was enough shock without bringing Isobel into the mix.

Isobel.

He really needed to speak to Hermione.

**. . .**

"Mummy, does Daddy not like me?"

Hermione closed her eyes at her daughter's words. Hermione had never pictured herself coming back to England again, so she had told Isobel the truth about her father the first time she had asked. She had said that he was the most amazing man she had ever known, but that he didn't know about her yet.

"Sweetheart, we talked about this. He doesn't know he's your Daddy yet. But... I think he's figuring it out. Still, don't say anything, okay?" Hermione said, brushing back her daughter's dark hair with her hand.

Isobel and Faith were lying in matching small beds that Hermione and Bliss had transfigured and brought with him. Faith was already asleep, Bliss out in the kitchen speaking with Hermione's old friends.

"Okay." Isobel said, yawning.

Hermione kissed her forehead. "I love you, my Isobel. Sleep well and sweet dreams. Mummy's just outside if you need something."

"I love you, Mummy." Isobel said, turning over and holding her blanket close.

Hermione shut off the lights and headed out of the room, running smack into Harry. She looked up at him, her eyes wide with fear. She could tell by his own eyes that he was drunk - they always gave him away, even after all this time.

"Hermione..." he said, his voice hoarse and rough.

Hermione didn't know what to say. She just shook her head and looked down at the floor as tears streamed from her cheeks. She put her head in her hands and began to sob. She couldn't help herself.

"Hermione, don't. Look at me." he said, his voice suddenly much softer.

She pulled her hands away from her eyes, finding him much closer than before. His own eyes were filled with tears as he looked at her, staring her right in the eyes. He pointed in the direction of Isobel and Faith's room, stumbling closer to Hermione.

"She... she's mine." he said, his voice low as his words slurred together. "Right?"

Hermione didn't know what to say. She just kept crying. Forcing herself to look at him, she slowly nodded. Instantly Harry's face went pale as he took a step backwards, stumbling into the wall. She reached forward grabbing Harry's arm to keep him steady, realizing that this was the first time she had touched him since being back.

"Let me look at her." he said, immediately trying to walk past.

Hermione grabbed both of his arms and shook her head. "Harry, she's gone to bed. I can't just wake her and Faith up."

Harry shook his head and tried to push past her. "Let me _see_ her!"

Hermione couldn't let him shout like this. If someone heard and came to them, he'd definitely tell the truth at this level of drunkenness. She grabbed his hands and pulled him into the bathroom, locking the door behind them and casting _Muffliato_, just in case.

"Harry, you can't just barge in there, alright?" Hermione said, trying to keep her voice under control. "And you can't _shout_ about this."

Harry tried to step forward and only fell on the floor. Hermione sighed and bent down, crouching in front of him as he leaned back against the kitchen cabinet.

"I have... _we_ have... she's..." he said, his voice fading with every word.

Hermione felt her lip quiver. She had thought about telling Harry about Isobel every day since she had learned she was pregnant - none of her fantasies had included him being smashed out of his mind.

"When we were living in the tent... you were..." he said, almost breathlessly.

Hermione sat down, blinking tears away. "Yes, Harry. I was pregnant."

"How didn't we know?" he asked.

"C-c-concealment charm." Hermione whispered.

She was afraid to look at him now. She had absolutely no idea what to do with herself, or him. She peeked up, finding him staring blankly ahead at her, his eyes wide with fear and tears. His face was pale, and he was almost shaking.

"Harry, say something. Please." she begged, scooting slightly closer to him.

He just shook his head. "You-you... how could you do this?"

Hermione felt her breath stop. She knew that he was angry at her - of course he was. It would be mental for him _not_ to be. She just wished that they were having this conversation while he was sober. She knew that they would have to anyways - and it would probably be much worse, due to the conversation they were having now.

"I didn't feel like I had a choice." she whispered bravely. "You know how things were back then."

"You did have a choice! You could've bloody told me! I _deserved_ to know!" he shouted.

The harsh tone of her words made her flinch, but she knew that she had to take them. He was right - he did deserve to know. But Hermione had made her choice - a choice she still felt was right - and now she had to live with the consequences.

"Yes, you did deserve to know. But... I had to, Harry. I had to." Hermione said, trying desperately to stop her voice from wavering.

"No-no-no, you didn't have to do anything." he slurred, leaning closer to her and narrowing his eyes. "You didn't have to _leave_ right after the War without a goodbye, you didn't have to keep-keep... _her_ a secret from me. You didn't _have_ to do anything."

"I did it for the right reasons, okay?" she said, her voice rising now.

She couldn't tell him that she had been about to tell him moments before she decided to leave for Australia. She couldn't tell him that if he hadn't been kissing Ginny at that exact moment, and clearly having an emotion filled discussion of love that she would have told him. She couldn't tell him that she had let her hormones and emotions get in the way.

Not yet. Not while he was this drunk.

"How the _fuck_ could there have been any right reasons, Hermione?" he said weakly, leaning back against the cabinet.

She shook her head. "There just were. I knew that if you knew you'd have done anything to protect me during the War - to protect her. It would've taken all of your focus off Voldemort and the Horcruxes."

Harry went silent, staring at her. She knew that _he_ knew she was right. There was no doubt in her mind that Harry would've done anything to protect her - and she couldn't have taken that risk. Harry had needed all of his focus to be on the task at hand - not on her. Not on her and their daughter. Hermione could take care of herself, and their baby.

"But what about after? You just _left_. You didn't even say goodbye. You didn't give me a chance to stop you from leaving. You didn't give me a chance to come with you." he whispered.

Hermione could hear how broken he sounded. He bowed his head, placing it against his knees as he sobbed. Hermione had absolutely never seen him like this before. She didn't know what to do. She thought about Ginny's letters, explaining how badly he had been dealing with the aftermath of the War. She knew that she was experiencing it now.

"Harry..." she whispered, reaching forward and placing a hand on his shoulder.

When he looked up, she could see intense vulnerability in his eyes. She flashed back to the first time they met, just two kids entering a new magical world. Now, all she wanted to do was take him in her arms and take away all of his pain. She hated seeing him like this - she would rather deal with it herself.

"You can't just _come back_ like this." he slurred.

"I'm here for your wedding, Harry." she reminded him.

Harry leaned back again and shrugged off her touch. "_Stupid _wedding..." he muttered.

_Stupid wedding?_

What the hell did that mean? Was Harry not happy with Ginny? The possibilities swarmed in Hermione's mind, but she knew she couldn't let herself do it for long. They were getting _married_, whether Hermione was desperately in love with him or not.

Which she was - even after all this time.

The moment she had seen him again, her feelings had erupted. Throughout her time in Australia, all she had thought of was him. And now that she was back and seeing him again... she knew for certain that she would never be able to love anyone else the way she loved him. The way she would _always_ love him.

"I have a daughter." he said - for the first time.

Hermione nodded slowly. "You do. We do."

Harry closed his eyes, shaking his head. "I can't believe..."

There came a knock at the door, causing Hermione to jump. Harry's eyes remained closed and she wondered if he had passed out. She stood up, casting the counter-curse for _Muffliato_ and opening the door, feeling relieved at the sight of Bliss.

"Oh thank God." Hermione murmured.

Bliss raised her eyebrows at the sight of the two of them. "Shit, how's it going? He seemed pretty out of it at dinner."

"He's smashed to bits, so it's not going well." Hermione explained weakly, wiping her eyes.

"But... he knows, yeah?" Bliss asked.

"He does. He knew the minute he saw her." Hermione answered.

Bliss was silent, rubbing her stomach as she stared back and forth between Harry and Hermione. Suddenly, Ginny appeared in Hermione's sight, concern and frustration written all over her face.

"Oh shit." Ginny whispered, running a frustrated hand through her hair. "I _knew_ this would happen."

"What d'you mean?" Hermione asked.

"He... he gets like this sometimes. And with you being back... well, it was kind of a given." Ginny explained. "Did you talk at all?"

Hermione knew that it was evident she had been crying. There was no hiding that whatsoever - so she shrugged.

"A little, but -" she started.

"Hard to talk to him when it's like this, I know." Ginny said. "Give him a few days. Talk to him. He really needs to talk to you, Hermione. I think you can help him. Merlin knows I can't."

Before Hermione could say anything else, Ginny stepped into the bathroom and pulled Harry to his feet, hitting his cheek lightly.

"Harry, Harry." she said.

Harry opened his eyes and looked around, his eyes falling on Hermione last and staying there as Ginny began to pull him out of the bathroom.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed." Ginny sighed, as if she had done this a hundred times before.

Which Hermione was beginning to guess she had.

If Harry hadn't been so out of it, Hermione would have been afraid that Harry would have said something - but he wasn't saying anything. Hermione stood with Bliss and watched Ginny pull Harry into their room. Bliss wrapped an arm around her and Hermione rested her head on her shoulder.

"It's alright, darling. It's gonna be alright." Bliss whispered.

Hermione could only pray that she was right.

**. . .**

The next morning, the first thing Harry thought about was Hermione.

And Isobel.

His daughter.

He had a daughter.

He rolled over and found that Ginny was already gone - as per usual. He had a tendency to sleep in quite later after a night of drinking. Which, was quite often. He didn't want to get out of bed at all. He didn't want to have to face anyone or deal with anything.

Except all of him needed to see Isobel.

He sat up, reaching over to his nightstand and pulling out a bottle of Hangover Cure Potion, taking a long swig and waiting for the effects to set in before standing up. That potion was always in supply around Harry.

He got up, finding himself in the same clothes from the night before - also a usual occurrence. He could hardly remember Ginny shuffling him to bed, but he knew that she had. She always did.

He crept out the door, listening for sounds of Hermione - or anyone, really. Ginny was most likely at work, still and for that he was entirely thankful. He wasn't sure how to behave around his _fiancée_ after discovering that he had a _daughter_ with another woman.

The same woman he was entirely in love with.

"_No_, Izzy. You can't just knock Faith's things over, okay?" Hermione's voice said from the other room.

He felt his heart rate speed up at the sound of it. He took a few steps forward, pausing just out of their line of sight to watch them. Isobel and Faith were sitting on the ground, crayons, paper and blocks in front of them. Bliss was sitting on the couch, rubbing her pregnant stomach and shaking her head. There was a tumbled over block structure in front of Faith, and Hermione was crouched down next to Isobel.

"Say sorry, okay?" Hermione instructed her daughter.

"Sorry, Faithy." Isobel said.

It was the first time Harry had heard her speak. His heart pounded. He could watch them forever, he knew.

He watched as Isobel's familiar green eyes filled with tears. Concern instantly clouded over Hermione's face as she scooped her up into her arms, petting her hair as Isobel rested her head on her shoulder.

"What's wrong, love?" Hermione said softly. "Why are you upset?"

Isobel didn't answer and he heard Hermione sigh.

"Is it about what we talked about last night?" Hermione asked.

_What had they talked about?_, Harry immediately wondered. He looked at Isobel's small face nestled in Hermione's shoulder and suddenly had the strong urge to hold her in his arms. He had not even spoken to Isobel yet, but he knew that he loved her more than anything or anyone else in the world - apart from her mother.

Harry's mind instantly became dark. How could he let himself have done this to Ginny when Hermione and Isobel had been out in the world?

Then again, he hadn't known about Isobel and Hermione had left without a word.

"No." Isobel said, her voice muffled by Hermione's shoulder.

"Which means yes." Hermione sighed.

Harry knew that he couldn't stand there much longer. He walked into the living room, watching Hermione's eyes widen as she caught sight of him. Bliss smiled politely as Faith scrambled up next to her, resting her blonde head on Bliss' stomach.

"Morning." he said, his voice rough and hoarse.

Hermione nodded slowly. "Morning."

He didn't know how to approach her, especially while she was holding Isobel.

"Right then." Bliss said, standing up with Faith. "I guess we'll be off. Come on, Izzy."

Hermione kissed Isobel on the forehead and put her down on the ground, Bliss taking her hand.

"You be a good girl for Aunt Bliss at the park, okay?" Hermione said, crouching down in front of her.

"Yes, Mummy." Isobel said quietly.

"I love you, Is." Hermione said, kissing the top of her head.

"Love you, too, Mummy."

Harry said nothing, watching as Bliss shuffled the two kids out the door, giving him a knowing nod. Hermione sat down on the couch, tucking her knees up and holding them tight. Harry sat down next to her - although as far away as he could get.

"Why'd they leave?" Harry decided to ask.

"They went to the park. It's half past one. They've been bugging us for hours to get out of the flat." Hermione explained, her voice quiet.

"Oh." was all Harry could manage.

He couldn't stop looking at Hermione - and as he did so, he felt rage and love fuel in his heart. He knew that he was _so_ incredibly angry at her. And he was even more angry when he found that he looked at her and couldn't _be_ angry at her.

"We need to talk." he decided to say.

"You need to be more specific. We need to talk about a lot of things." Hermione answered with a bitter laugh.

Harry nodded slowly. "Well, we could either tackle why you left without a goodbye, or the fact that we have a _daughter_ together. Though, I suppose both of those tie in together, don't they?"

He knew his tone was harsh, but he couldn't help it. Hermione's face flushed and she just continued to stare blankly ahead, avoiding his gaze as he turned on the couch and crossed his legs, facing her.

"Why did you only tell _Fleur_ of all people, Hermione? You don't even like Fleur!" Harry suddenly shouted, his rage exploding.

Hermione suddenly looked up at him - he could see the anger in her eyes, too.

"I do like Fleur, okay? She's one of the most incredible people I've ever known." Hermione answered, sounding incredibly protective.

Harry narrowed his eyes together in confusion. Of course Fleur was nice, but he never would have guessed that Hermione would ever describe her in that way.

"_Why_?" he asked.

"Because... after the incident at Malfoy Manor, she looked after me." Hermione explained quietly. "I told her I was pregnant and she got a Healer into Shell Cottage to make sure that the baby was okay."

Harry froze. He hadn't even _considered_ the fact that Hermione had been tortured during her pregnancy. How the hell had that not affected Isobel? Suddenly, he appreciated Fleur Weasley more than ever.

"Oh my God." Harry breathed. "Bellatrix... she did all that while you were..."

"Yes." Hermione answered. "Yes she did."

**. . .**

Hermione knew that she owed Fleur absolutely everything - and always would. Without the Healer coming and checking her out, who knew what would have happened with Isobel? The Healer had given Hermione a few potions to help her body heal and speed the process along. Hermione didn't doubt that without the Healer, something would have been really wrong.

"Oh my God. Oh my God, Hermione. You're so lucky that something didn't happen to-to her. Oh my God." Harry said, his face as white as ever.

Hermione just nodded. She knew that very well. She had thought about it a lot over the years. She also thought a lot about how lucky she was that something hadn't happen in the Final Battle.

"I know. But nothing happened. She's a miracle." Hermione said, smiling softly at the thought of Isobel.

She knew that Isobel was still upset about thinking Harry didn't like her. It absolutely broke her heart.

"And if... if you didn't make it and _I_ didn't make it during the Final Battle... Fleur was going to try and get her out of me in time and raise her with Bill." Hermione explained softly. "I made her promise if I was gravely injured, she'd get the baby out no matter what."

Harry's face paled. "Hermione -"

"I couldn't give it my all without knowing that there was a small possibility for her, Harry." she said.

"You should've told me. I could've -" Harry began.

"Could've what? Could've protected me?" Hermione sighed. "That's exactly why I _didn't_ tell you. I told you last night that I knew if I told you all of your focus would've been on me instead of yourself and what you had to do."

She watched as Harry's cheeks turned red, and she knew that he was realizing she was right.

"But _after_, Hermione. _After_." he said.

Hermione didn't want to say anything about that. She wasn't ready - she wasn't sure if she could ever tell Harry about her feelings for him. He was engaged. He was engaged to her old best girlfriend.

"I was a mess, Harry. I didn't want to complicate anything for you any further than it already was." Hermione decided to say.

Harry shook his head, running a frustrated hand through his hair. "I... I _needed_ you. I needed you to get through things with and you weren't there. You didn't even say goodbye."

It was then that Hermione knew she couldn't hold in her tears any longer. The fact that she had completely abandoned Harry in his time of need burned her to her very core. She felt absolutely and completely terrible about it.

"I had to leave. Before I lost my nerve." Hermione decided to say carefully.

Harry looked even more angry now. "You _had_ to leave."

"I did what I thought was best for my daughter." Hermione said.

"_Our_ daughter. She's not just yours. Except, I didn't know that she was around for almost the last three years until bloody _yesterday_!" Harry shouted.

Hermione knew there was nothing that she could say to calm Harry down - there was nothing reasonable. She could tell him her feelings, but she knew that there was no way for her to actually do that. She couldn't do it to Ginny - not eight weeks before their _wedding_.

"God, she doesn't even know me. I don't know her." Harry said, his voice much softer.

"Actually..." Hermione started. "She does know you."

Harry's eyes widened and he leaned closer to her, scooting forward on the couch.

"What? What do you mean?" he asked.

"She asked me about you once, and I told her the truth. I didn't know if I'd ever be back here again, and I wasn't comfortable lying to her about something like this." Hermione explained. "She's got a picture of me and you next to her bed."

Hermione thought of the picture. It had been in her room originally until a few months back when Isobel had asked her for it. It was during Fifth Year - Christmas at Grimmauld Place. Molly Weasley had taken it of just the two of them, and it was probably one of Hermione's favourites. Both of them had actually looked genuinely happy - even Harry.

"What am I supposed to do with this information?" Harry groaned, putting his head in his hands for a moment before looking back up at her.

"I don't know. Whatever you want to do, I suppose." Hermione said, unable to keep the slight sadness out of her voice. "You don't have to do anything. I'm not asking you to be apart of her life."

Harry's eyes widened. "Hermione... she's my _kid_. I have to be apart of her life."

Hermione's eyes flooded with tears again - she had been waiting to hear that from Harry ever since she had discovered her pregnancy. She had just never thought it would actually happen once she had left for Australia.

"I mean... one look at her and I was already in love." Harry continued.

Hermione was sobbing now. She placed her head in her hands and tried to stop, but she knew that she couldn't. This was so much to handle, and it had her instantly imagining what her life would have been like had she told Harry about Isobel that day she had seen him with Ginny.

"Shit, Hermione... I - er - what am I supposed to say? I _do_ love her. More than anyone." he said slowly.

Hermione shook her head and looked up at him. "N-n-no, it's not that. I just... I've mucked it all up. I've fucked up so badly. I shouldn't have left. She should have _known_ you."

"Yes. She should have... but we can't change that now, can we?" Harry said. "But, I have to get to know her now."

**. . .**

Harry couldn't imagine not getting to know Isobel now.

Of course, he was scared out of his mind, but he had never wanted anything more in his entire life. He was in love with his daughter already.

Hermione was bawling her eyes out like never before in front of him. He wanted desperately to comfort her, but he knew that he couldn't. If he held her, if he took her in his arms, he knew that he would never be able to let her go. And he couldn't risk that - he was bloody engaged.

But, she was the mother to his child.

Except, no one besides Bliss knew that.

"Does Fleur know she's mine?" he decided to ask.

He did need to know exactly what he was getting into.

"I... I don't know." Hermione answered. "I didn't really speak to her last night, but I'm meeting her tomorrow. She didn't know back then, but looking at her... she might've figured it out."

Harry supposed this was entirely true. It was _so_ obvious that Isobel was his child, he wondered if anyone else had figured it out.

"Did you speak to Ron yet?" Harry decided to ask.

He watched Hermione's cheeks turn pink as she quickly shook her head. "No. I'm quite worried about that actually. He sort of just avoided me at dinner last night."

"Yeah, well... he really doesn't know what to do about you being back either." Harry sighed. "You did a number on him by leaving."

Hermione's heart stung. She felt _so_ terrible for leaving Ron that way as well. While she hadn't reciprocated his feelings at the time, he was still one of her best friends, and she had hated leaving him. Never had she ever wanted to hurt him - or anyone. But, apparently that was all she had done.

She had hurt everyone.

"Hermione, please stop crying." Harry said, his voice much softer.

Hermione shook her head. She knew that she couldn't stop - not yet. She had spent so much time of the last three years crying, it was almost unbelievable. Being a single mother had been unbelievably stressful. Her and Bliss had muddled through it together, of course, but it had been the hardest - yet best - thing she had ever done. Not only that, Hermione herself had been dealing with severe - and ongoing - trauma from the War.

"I-I-I missed you so much." she admitted honestly. "I wanted to write you so bad. Ginny told me you were having trouble dealing with the W-W-War and stuff, but I could never pluck up the strength to send you a letter."

She looked at him bravely, finding tears in his eyes as well. She could hardly focus on him, her vision was so blurry as she continued to try and keep her breathing steady.

"Why not, Hermione? I... I needed you more than ever and you weren't there. You were the one person who'd never left in my whole life and you just fucked off." he said, his voice displaying just how sad he truly was.

Hermione shook her head, placing her head back in her hands. "I'm so sorry."

Surprising her, Harry pulled her into his arms. She immediately froze up at his touch as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, allowing her to rest comfortably against his chest. When she finally relaxed, her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat, she felt at home.

She knew that Harry - Harry and Isobel - were her home. Wherever they both were was where she needed to be. She let out another sob and Harry's arms just tightened around her, almost protectively.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, afraid to look up at him for fear that he would let go.

"Because no matter how mad I am at you, I can't just sit there and not do anything while you're upset." he explained, sighing. "You're still Hermione."

She wanted to look at him, but she knew that their faces were much too close for that. She wasn't in the best headspace to control herself - not that she'd do something, of course. She felt Harry's hands lock around her waist as his lips brushed the top of her hair, causing shivers to go up and down her spine.

"Tell me about her." Harry whispered. "Please. What is she like?"

Hermione got even more comfortable in Harry's arms and closed her eyes, taking in the feeling - who knew if she'd get another moment like this? She knew that she could talk for a long time, however, and keep them this way. She could talk forever about Isobel.

"She's absolutely amazing, Harry. She's all the best parts of both of us. She reminds me _so much_ of you - and not just in looks. It's the way she acts, sometimes. The way she speaks." Hermione began, smiling just at the thought of Isobel. "I tell her about our adventures - mind you, I edit out the scary details of course - and she just loves it. She thinks you're absolutely brilliant, Harry. She adores you."

**. . .**

Harry never wanted to let Hermione out of his arms.

Holding her... he had almost forgotten the feel out it. She was curled up so tightly in his arms, resting her head against his chest as she cried in the most tender way possible. He wanted to ask her questions - he wanted to ask her _everything_ about Isobel.

"Does she really?" he asked, his voice faraway.

He couldn't imagine his daughter adoring him, especially _now_. He was such an outright mess. He could barely hold himself together on a daily basis. How the hell was he supposed to be a father when he hardly knew what to do with himself?

"'Course she does." Hermione said simply. "You're her Dad, why wouldn't she?"

The word _Dad_ struck deep within Harry for a moment. His Dad had never been around for him - what if Harry was horrible at it? Of course, he didn't doubt that James would have been a brilliant father to him if he had been given a real chance - but Harry? It was hard enough for himself to get through the day, let alone take care of another person.

"Harry, you're shaking." Hermione sighed.

He looked down at her, surprised to find her already staring at him. When he noticed their faces were only a few inches apart, he felt everything within him warm. He stared deep into her brown eyes - her brown eyes that he had missed so much - and had to mentally tell himself not to kiss her.

He was engaged!

What the hell was he doing?

"I don't know the first thing about being a Dad, Hermione." he said slowly, pulling his eyes away from hers before he did something incredibly stupid.

Hermione rested her head against him again. "That's okay. I didn't know the first thing about being a Mum, either. It's a learning process. You really do just learn as you go along."

Harry nodded, listening to her. He knew that she was right, but he was still more than scared.

He was more scared than ever in his life - and that was definitely saying something.


	5. Conversations With a Ghost

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** I love the feedback I'm getting on this story! please keep it coming, it keeps me motivated. thanks for reading! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Five: Conversations With a Ghost**

"Look who we've run into!"

Hermione sat up from leaning against Harry and moved over to the other side of the couch, feeling her cheeks flush as she wiped her eyes quickly. She hadn't expected Bliss back so quickly with the kids.

Bliss, Faith and Isobel suddenly appeared in the room with Ron, who had an alarmingly nervous smile on his face as he held onto Faith's tiny hand.

"Yeah, er - I was on my way up here and - yeah." Ron said.

Hermione really was not ready to talk to Ron, but she knew that was why he had to be there. He wouldn't have just dropped by to speak to Harry, knowing she was there already. At least not without communicating with Harry first to meet somewhere else.

Isobel ran to Hermione, a small smile on her face. Hermione beamed back and instantly scooped her up, placing her on her lap. She looked at Harry who was staring at the two of them, his eyes wide.

"Isobel, can you say hello to Harry?" Hermione decided to ask.

"Hi." she said shyly.

Hermione smiled softly, watching as Harry's eyes lit up with something she had never seen in him before.

"Hi there." he said back.

Isobel tugged on Hermione's sleeve and leaned close, whispering in her ear. "He said something to me, Mummy!"

Hermione's eyes began to water again. She could hear the pure happiness in Isobel's voice. She wasn't sure if she had ever heard her daughter sound like that before.

"Yes, love." she whispered back, kissing her head.

Hermione looked back at Harry who was still staring fondly at Isobel. She wished that Bliss hadn't come back with the kids yet - they still needed much more time to talk.

"Er - Hermione - can we -?" Ron stammered.

Hermione sighed and looked at him, nodding. She turned to Harry who was now staring at her with something indecipherable in his eyes.

"Can we finish this later?" Hermione asked, knowing that they had to.

There was still so much left unsaid.

"Sure." he said quietly, getting up from the couch as his eyes flickered back to Isobel.

Hermione turned to Bliss who nodded at her. She took Faith's hand from Ron and motioned for Isobel to come to her. Hermione mouthed a thanks as she kissed Isobel's forehead before setting her on the floor.

"We're going to go play, aren't we girls?" Bliss said smiling down at each of them. "Harry?"

Hermione knew immediately what Bliss was going to do. Her stomach clenched immediately in nerves - she wanted to be there, too. But she knew that Bliss was doing the right thing.

"Would you like to join us?" Bliss asked.

Harry looked back at Hermione - almost as if asking her permission. She nodded very slowly before he turned back at Bliss and smiled.

"Sure." he said quietly.

Hermione's heart pounded as she watched the four leave the room. She was so absorbed in watching them that she almost jumped when Ron sat down next to her. She looked at him, trying to gage his mood - but she couldn't. He still was blushing slightly, as he had been when he'd arrived with Bliss.

"Hi." she decided to say - starting was the least she could do.

"Hi." he said.

A long moment of somewhat awkward silence passed as the two just sat there. Hermione didn't know _what_ to say. She couldn't tell him the real reason he had left. She knew that when Ron found out who Isobel's father was, he would be positively livid. Her and Harry hadn't even approached the discussion of when to tell people. She knew that it couldn't be a secret forever now that Harry knew. It wasn't fair to Isobel, and that was really the only person who had a true say in it.

"I can't believe you're here." he said, sighing and shaking his head at her. "It's been _three years_. You didn't write or visit or _anything_ for _three years_."

Hermione could only just nod.

"Why, Hermione? Why the hell would you leave us like that?" Ron asked. "We all needed you."

"I had to, Ron." Hermione whispered. "I had to leave. It was how I dealt with things back then. I was so scared after the War. I couldn't stay here."

Ron looked slightly more enraged now, turning to face her fully on the couch.

"You think you were the only one who was scared?" Ron all but shouted. "D'you remember those initial nights after, when me and you and Harry had to share a bed at night because we were all bloody traumatized?"

Hermione remembered those nights very well. She wouldn't have made it through them without Harry and Ron - she knew that. Even though it had been awkward for all three of them in their own way, they had pushed past it and been the best friends they always had been.

"My _brother_ died, Hermione! F-Fred died and you couldn't even stay around long enough for his funeral! It was _Fred_, Hermione!" Ron screamed.

Hermione was crying again - she wished that she wouldn't. Funerals had been pushed back after the War for a few weeks as Death Eaters had been rounded up. No one wanted any intrusions on very populated funerals - and there had been _many_ of those.

"And Lupin and Tonks! You couldn't - you couldn't _stay_! Not even for that." Ron said.

Hermione tried desperately to wipe her tears, but they kept coming. It was almost impossible to keep up with them. She knew that the guilt of missing those funerals would stay with her forever. She truly did miss all three of them desperately at times.

"Me and Harry needed you." Ron whispered, his voice breaking. "We really did. We could have _helped_ you. You didn't have to run, Hermione. We could have gotten through it together. And now... well, it took me a long time to get my head on straight, and sometimes it's still not. But, Harry..."

Hermione took a deep breath. She could see just how haunted Harry's eyes were. She had noticed it the minute she had stepped through the fireplace back into their lives.

"I don't know if he's ever going to be the same. _He_ needed you more than anyone. He shut everyone out at the beginning - me, Ginny... everyone. Sometimes he still does. We can't get through to him - not even Gin." Ron sighed.

Harry had shut Ginny out? When?

She couldn't focus on that however, not right then. She had to focus on Ron. She knew that he was only a breath away from bringing up the two of them, and how much had been left unsaid after their kiss during the Final Battle. The kiss that really had been years in the making - the kiss that hadn't meant anything to Hermione.

Not compared to the kiss Harry had given her during the Battle, before walking to the Forest to meet Voldemort and his fate.

"Me and you could've been something, you know. We really could have." Ron said.

Hermione chose not to say anything to that. She didn't want to tell him that even if she _had_ stayed, they wouldn't have. They couldn't have.

"Just when I've moved on, you come _back_." Ron said. "And now I don't know what to do. I've got no idea what to do with you being here."

"You don't have to do anything. You don't... you don't have to have anything to do with me if you don't want to. I'm not forcing anything on you, Ron." Hermione explained softly. "I'd like to be friends, of course. I'd like that more than anything, but I can't ask that of you. Not after what I did."

She saw pain in Ron's eyes for a moment before he turned to look at her. He was shaking his head and Hermione felt her heart drop. She really did want to be friends with Ron again - she had truly missed him. They were meant to be friends. All their complicated love stuff had broken their friendship, and she wanted more than anything to fix it. Of course, when it came out that Harry was Isobel's father... she didn't know if that was possible.

"I can't just _not_ have anything to do with you." Ron groaned. "Even when you weren't here and you wouldn't write... I still asked Ginny about you all the time. You were still... you were still my _friend_, Hermione."

Hermione looked at him and fought off the urge to hug him tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks. She stood up, walking over to the flat window and wiping her tears. Suddenly, she felt a touch on her shoulder and she turned around, finding Ron standing close to her.

"You know I can't stand it when you cry. I really don't know what to do with you." Ron groaned, a small teasing smile on his lips.

Hermione couldn't help but smile back. Immediately, she threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly, crying into his shoulder. She felt him stiffen slightly before relaxing. Hugging Ron brought her back to a simpler time - not that they had hugged often. But when they had, it had always been comforting.

"I'm mad at you." he said softly, while hugging her.

"Yeah, well... I was always mad at you, wasn't I?" she said.

She allowed herself to smile as he chuckled quietly, hugging her even tighter. When they pulled away, she wiped her eyes, sitting back down on the couch.

"Tell me everything about what I've missed with you, okay?" Hermione asked, truly meaning it. "I want to know everything."

Ron nodded slowly and began to catch Hermione up with his life. She could tell that he was selectively editing some details, but she didn't mind. She knew that he wouldn't truly elaborate on how devastated he had been when Hermione had left. He spoke mainly about his family and their wellbeing, as well as his job helping George to run the joke shop. After a while, Hermione could swear they were almost back to normal. But she knew that wasn't quite the case - yet.

**. . .**

Harry sat on the bed with Bliss as they watched Faith and Isobel begin to colour. Harry hadn't said anything and had been more than happy when Faith and Isobel immediately began to colour all on their own.

"Don't look so scared. She's not going to bite." Bliss murmured.

Harry looked at her and realized that Bliss would know absolutely everything - even things perhaps that Hermione had left out. She would know everything about Isobel, as well.

"Can I... can I ask you something?" Harry said.

Bliss nodded, lifting up her wand and casting _Muffliato_ at the children - something Harry was grateful for. She turned her head to his and nodded again.

"That depends. You must know there are probably some things that I can't tell you - that Hermione has to tell you for herself." Bliss said.

Harry thought that was fair. "Is she happy?" he asked, gesturing towards Isobel.

"Izzy?" Bliss asked with a smile. "Oh yeah. She's quite happy for the most part."

"The most part?" Harry asked.

"Well, for the last few months, she's gotten quite upset over you. She doesn't understand why you haven't been around." Bliss sighed. "I think it helps that Faith's Dad isn't around either, so she knows that it's not just her. But, she sees other kids out with their Dads and knows that something's off, you know?"

Harry nodded slowly, looking down at her. "I would have been around if I'd known."

"I know you would have been. And Hermione knows that, too." she said.

Harry sighed. "I'm guessing you're not married then, if Faith's father isn't around."

Bliss let out a bitter laugh and shook her head. "No, no I'm not. Faith's father isn't exactly good husband material. Nor is he good father or boyfriend material."

Harry felt his cheeks flush at asking the intrusive question. "Sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up."

"Oh, don't worry. It's quite alright. I've made my peace with it a while ago." Bliss said. "And we're better off without him, really. Things were miserable when he was actually trying to make an effort, you know?"

Harry nodded slowly, feeling for Bliss. He could see in her eyes how much a toll it had taken on her. He could just imagine how Hermione would have been in that situation - in charge and making sure everyone was okay, as she had often done with Ron and himself back in the day.

"Anyways, we split up about a year ago - and we had one night around seven months ago, as you can tell..." she said, gesturing to her stomach. "But, he's gone for good now."

Harry's eyes widened. "Really?"

Bliss rubbed her stomach protectively and nodded, tucking her blonde hair behind her ear.

"Yeah. He's in Azkaban for now, and will be for two more years. Domestic violence." Bliss said. "He used to beat the right shit out of me. One of the last times, he broke two of my ribs. I had to practically hold Hermione back from killing him. When he's out, there's a restraining order waiting for him."

Harry looked back at Faith and Isobel. He shook his head, unsure of what to say. He was just glad that whoever the bloke was was gone. He didn't want that around Bliss and Faith - let alone Hermione and Isobel. The two sat there in silence, watching the kids colour and interact with one another. Harry knew he could watch Isobel forever. He could see bits of himself and Hermione just in the way she moved around. While she had his hair and eyes, her face was totally Hermione's. She was slender, just as Hermione was, and had her small sprinkling of freckles on her nose.

"Hermione really cares about you, you know." Bliss said. "When I met her, she was absolutely destroyed to have left you here."

"I'm not the same person I was back then." Harry said quietly.

"No. From what she's told me about you, I can see that you're not." Bliss agreed. "But, it doesn't mean that you can't be that person again. Or an even better person."

"I... I don't know how." Harry admitted.

"You do, though." Bliss said, touching him kindly on the shoulder. "Let Hermione help you. Let your friends help you. Let Ginny help you."

_Ginny_. How the hell was she going to react to the truth about him and Hermione and Isobel? Would she still want to marry him?

Why did he feel such relief at the mere thought of _not_ marrying her?

Harry pushed the thoughts aside and looked at Bliss. He knew that she was undoubtably the best person to ask with anything in regards to Hermione. After all for the last three years, she had been her confidante and her true best friend.

"Did she miss me?" he decided to ask, feeling a lump form in his throat.

Bliss full-on looked at him now and he found it hard to hold her gaze. She smiled feebly, almost with pity - but not quite. It was a sad smile, he gathered when she put her hand on his shoulder again and gave it a comforting squeeze.

"Do you think I'd have watched her cry almost every day since we met if she hadn't?" Bliss answered softly. "It hasn't been easy for her either, you know. She went through just as much trauma as you lot did. And apart from me being there, she's gone through it alone."

Harry's heart burned at the thought of Hermione in tears - even though she had just been absolutely sobbing all over him. He thought of holding her in his arms again, and how he never wanted to let her go. He couldn't let her go - not ever. He knew they were connected forever now by Isobel. They would always be in each other's lives from now on - and Harry was thankful. Life without Hermione...

It wasn't life.


	6. Shattered

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **thank you so much for all the reviews guys! all of your opinions matter to me so much, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Six: Shattered**

"Ron, are you staying for dinner?"

Ginny poked her head around the corner from the kitchen to look at Ron and Hermione. The two were still sitting on the couch, however with Faith and Isobel between them. Bliss was seated on an armchair across the room, and Hermione wasn't even sure where Harry was.

"Yeah, sure." Ron said, looking up from Faith for only a moment.

Hermione smiled. She could see how quickly he had taken to Faith and Isobel - it had surprised her, actually. She really hadn't expected it. She knew that he was still quite angry at her - and she didn't blame him - but he was really trying.

And that was enough for her.

Harry, on the other hand, had gone out earlier and not come back. Ginny didn't seem too concerned, but it had been hours now and Hermione was starting to get worried. Though, she knew she was the only one.

"When did you move out, Ron?" Bliss asked. "You used to live here, right?"

Hermione held back a laugh as she watched Ron's face begin to blush as Bliss spoke.

"Yeah - yeah, I did. I moved out about - six months ago, maybe?" Ron answered.

"Yeah, but you're here all the bloody time." Ginny called from the kitchen. "It's like you never left."

Ron laughed and Hermione couldn't help but smile. She was beginning to realize just how much she had truly missed her friends. And now bringing Bliss into the mix, it was even better.

"Mummy! I like it here." Faith called out.

Bliss grinned. "Do you?"

Faith nodded wildly and cuddled into Ron. Hermione had also noticed how easily Faith had taken to Ron. Generally, Faith had stayed away from guys when they had gone out to the park and other places in Australia - Hermione knew it was because she knew just how bad of a guy her dad was.

But with Ron, she had seemed to trust him immediately.

"Yes!" Faith called.

Isobel cuddled closer to Hermione and she looked down, sensing the sadness in her daughter's eyes. She knew that Isobel desperately wanted Harry to notice her - to spend time with her. She didn't know how to explain to her that Harry wanted to be a huge role in her life, but was just feeling out how to go about it. It was far too complicated for a kid of her age to understand.

"It's all alright, darling. It's all just fine, okay?" Hermione whispered, her voice soothing.

She kissed the top of Isobel's head and shot a look at Bliss. Bliss was already watching Isobel with concern and shook her head slowly at Hermione.

"Well, dinner will be ready in a few minutes, so get yourselves to the table, please!" Ginny shouted.

"Ginny's become quite domesticated, hasn't she?" Hermione said to Ron, lifting Isobel into her arms as they walked to the dining room.

"Oh yeah. It's kind of surprising, isn't it?" Ron said. "She really tried to take charge after the War with me and Harry. Didn't exactly work very well, but... she definitely helped."

Hermione nodded slowly. "And is she alright?"

"I think so. Sometimes. She gets quite upset about Fred sometimes, but... we all do, don't we?" Ron sighed.

Hermione placed Isobel down on her booster seat - she was quite a small child, still. Ron placed Faith next to her before making his way around the table to sit across from Faith. Hermione sat down next to him, smiling to herself when Bliss sat down on his other side. She knew that Bliss was taking to him - just as he was to her - even if neither one of them had said anything yet.

"Right, does anyone know where my fiancé went?" Ginny sighed. "Is he coming back soon?"

Ginny cast plates of food to the table. Hermione smiled when she saw that Ginny had already cut Faith and Isobel's meal of spaghetti, meatballs and garlic bread into much smaller pieces.

"Probably not." Ron said, his mouth already full of food.

Ginny rolled her eyes and sat down at the head of the table. Hermione looked between them - she had to say something.

"I know it's not my place anymore, but... should we be worried?" she asked.

"He'll be back. Just don't know what state he'll be in when he is." Ron sighed. "He does this."

"I've told you, Hermione." Ginny sighed. "He's not the same as he used to be. I know all of us have - or had - PTSD, but his..."

Ginny just shook her head, seemingly unable to say anything more. Hermione looked back at Ron and he rolled his eyes, already knowing to elaborate. She liked that he could still decipher her looks.

"He's messed up, Hermione. That isn't a secret. I mean, you've seen him. He doesn't look _well_, does he?" Ron said.

Hermione shook her head. He didn't really look well at all. She had noticed that he was thinner, the bags under his eyes were deep and dark. His eyes looked almost dead. Completely lifeless.

"Between me and Gin, we've tried _everything_." Ron said. "But we just don't know what to do."

"I'm not giving up on helping him. I won't ever do that." Ginny continued. "I just don't know what to do anymore."

Hermione could only nod. She took a small bite of her food, thinking over their words. While she had felt some relief at Harry finally knowing about Isobel, she was more stressed about the whole situation than ever. When would Ginny and Ron find out? When would everyone else? When would everything completely fall apart?

She knew it would fall apart. Of course it would.

It was too big of a secret to not have repercussions.

The question was - did Harry tell them, or did she? Did they do it together?

Yes, she was more stressed than ever.

**. . .**

"I just don't know what to do." Harry mumbled.

He took a long sip from the bottle of FireWhiskey and stared ahead, wiping the tears from his eyes.

He had left the house merely to buy a toy for Isobel. He had just wanted to do _something_ for her. Then he hadn't been able to force himself to go back home. He hadn't been ready. He had just needed some time to clear his head, to think over everything.

Isobel, Hermione, Ginny, himself...

And of course, all of that had driven him to drink.

Somehow he had ended up - once again - in front of his parents' gravestone in Godric's Hollow. He had taken to coming here every so often after the War - this time actually _talking_ to his parents, unlike he had the first time he had come with Hermione.

_Hermione_.

He took another drink, laying his head against his knees and letting himself cry. He missed them, even though he had hardly ever truly known them. He missed Sirius. He missed Remus. He missed Tonks. He missed Dumbledore. He missed Fred. He missed Moody. He missed Dobby. He missed Hedwig.

He missed everyone.

And it hurt _so_ much that he hadn't a clue what to do with it all. All the pain. It was far too much for him - far too much.

"Harry?"

He sat up, whipping his head around in shock. He managed to stop his drunken vision from spinning to focus on the walking figures of Ron and Hermione approaching him. He didn't even bother to try and stand up or stop himself from crying. He put his head back against his knees, slightly calming his drunken head and letting out another sob.

"I told you he'd be here." he heard Hermione's soft voice say to Ron.

"Well, I wasn't far off when I said the pub, was I?" Ron said back.

Harry felt a hand touch his shoulder. He didn't even have to look up to know it was Hermione.

"Harry, come with us, okay?" she whispered.

Harry shook his head. He didn't want to get up - not yet. He couldn't do it. He physically couldn't.

"Mate, I know it's tough, but you've got to come home." Ron added, his voice coming from behind.

"Harry." Hermione whispered, her hand rubbing his back. "Look at me."

He didn't want to. Looking at her hurt him, as well. It reminded him of everything he had missed out on - the life he could have had with her and Isobel.

But not looking at her when she was finally _right there_ was worse.

"Look at me." she repeated softly.

He looked up, finding her eyes shining as she smiled feebly at him. She was sitting down beside him, continually rubbing his back.

"I know it hurts." she whispered. "I know it all hurts so much, but sitting here forever with a bottle won't help you, alright? It just won't."

He knew Hermione was right. Of course she was. But he couldn't force himself to say anything to her, or _do_ anything about it.

"Hermione's right, mate." Ron called out.

Hermione's hand trailed around to his cheek, cupping his face and gently rubbing it with her thumb. He felt tingles up and down his spine as he stared into her eyes. He knew he had to control himself around her when he was this intoxicated and feeling so incredibly vulnerable.

"I'm not going anywhere, okay? I'm here for you. I'm here for you now." she whispered.

He felt her wipe his tears from his cheeks before she scooted closer to him, pressing her forehead to his. His heart was thumping as she stared into his eyes, wiping his tears again with both of her hands.

"It's gonna be alright." she said softly.

Harry suddenly hugged her as tightly as he could, sobbing into her shoulder. He felt her hug him back, rubbing one hand on his back as she did so.

"It's all okay, Harry. It's all okay." she whispered.

They sat there for a long time, Harry crying into Hermione's shoulder. He couldn't stop - he didn't know how. At one point or another, he was pulled to his feet by both Ron and Hermione, each of them wrapping an arm around his waist to keep him steady.

"Say goodbye to them, Harry." Hermione said kindly.

Harry looked down at the gravestone and nodded, unable to form any words as he continued to cry. He felt the pull of Side-Along Apparition take over and he knew that he was being taken back to his flat. Sure enough, when he opened his eyes he found himself in his kitchen, looking into the concerned eyes of Ginny.

"Oh Jesus, Harry. It's been hours." she sighed.

Harry couldn't bring himself to say anything to her. He knew that she was upset with him, and he couldn't blame her. He had done this _so_ many times, he wasn't sure how she put up with it anymore.

Bliss suddenly appeared beside her, putting an arm around Ginny.

"I think these two can deal with him tonight, don't you?" Bliss said. "You've done enough. Let them take care of him."

Ginny nodded slowly, though Harry knew she was feeling apprehensive. He was still completely bawling his eyes out.

"We've got him, Gin. Listen to Bliss, okay?" Ron said.

"I'm going to make you a nice cup of tea, and we're going to have a chat, darling. You sit down." Bliss said, pointing Ginny to the kitchen table.

Ginny stepped forward, kissing his forehead before pressing a soft kiss to his lips.

"I love you, Harry." she whispered.

That just made him cry even harder.

**. . .**

It was taking everything Hermione had not to cry.

Her and Ron placed Harry down on Hermione's guest room bed - they had decided that Ginny should get her own bed. Isobel was asleep in Bliss's room with Faith - a good decision made by Bliss. They all had had a feeling that they were in for a long night with Harry. He hadn't stopped crying. She had never seen him quite like this.

"Ginny's dealt with this one too many a time." Ron murmured quietly to her.

Hermione nodded, turning to look at him. She could see the worry and strain in his face and she knew it was mirrored in her own. She turned back to Harry, finding him staring at them. Part of her was worried that he would say something about Isobel in front of Ron. The rest of her was just plain worried about _him_.

"Let's get you into bed, shall we?" Hermione decided to say, stepping forward.

Harry slowly moved backwards, Ron helping to pull him. Hermione yanked the covers over him and was surprised when he caught hold of her wrist, slipping his hand into hers.

"Don't leave." he whispered.

She looked back at Ron who's eyes gave away all of his pain. She motioned for him to come closer to them as she sat down on the bed, giving Harry's hand a squeeze.

"Please don't leave me again." he said, his voice shaking.

"Harry." she whispered, smoothing back his hair. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."

Hermione slipped under the covers, sitting up against the headboard of the bed and placing Harry's head in her lap. She squeezed his hand and began to stroke his hair. Ron slid next to her, surprising her by wrapping an arm around her body and allowing him to lean into her. She looked at him and noticed he had tears in his eyes as well as he shrugged at her. She leaned into him, becoming comfortable as she watched Ron take Harry's other hand.

She could feel Ron's tears dripping onto her as she rested her head on his chest. She looked down at Harry, feeling him grip her hand extra hard.

"I need this to stop." he slurred.

Hermione lifted her head to look at Ron - he looked like he had heard this all before.

"It will, mate." Ron said. "We've talked about this, remember?"

"It needs to stop right now. I can't do it." Harry whimpered.

"You can, Harry. You know you can do it." Hermione whispered. "Deep down inside, you _know_ it's going to get better. You know that one day you're going to be happier than ever. One day it won't hurt as much anymore."

Harry whimpered quietly and Hermione closed her eyes, leaning against Ron. A part of her longed for the days before the War - when everything was so complicated, yet entirely simple. They had always been on a mission - to end Voldemort. That had been their lives. Their lives together.

Now everything was torn apart, and everyone was hurting much more than ever before.

Soon, the three of them were lying down in bed - Hermione in the middle, just as they had the days following the War before Hermione had left for Australia. Harry was resting his head in her chest, his arms wrapped around her middle, while Ron had an arm draped over her waist, almost cradling her softly.

"Bloody hell, how did we end up like this?" Ron whispered in her ear.

Hermione shook her head slowly, rubbing Harry's back as he continued to shake with tears. She wished more than anything that she could make it better for him - for him and Ron. She hated seeing them this way - it hurt more than anything. She thought of Isobel in the next room over, sleeping peacefully. She never wanted her to feel any kind of pain close to this.

"I never should have left." Hermione whispered bitterly, mostly to herself.

"No..." Ron said quietly. "But don't beat yourself up about it."

She turned her head to look at Ron as Harry moved himself even closer to her. She saw the tears still in Ron's eyes and it almost broke her heart. She knew just how much she had hurt him - and just how much it would hurt him again when he knew Harry was Isobel's father.

"Ron, I..." she started, unsure of exactly what to say.

He shook his head. "I know you've been reprimanding yourself for three years now. Take a break right now. I'll be mad at you again tomorrow."

He smiled slightly at her, despite the tears leaking down her cheeks. Surprising her, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. She tried to return his smile before turning her head back and looking down at Harry. She could hear him sobbing still into her chest, and she wished she could do something more.

"It's alright, Harry." she whispered.

She just wished that she could believe her own words.


	7. You Could Be Happy

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **thank you so much for the reviews! please keep them coming - they keep me motivated. i hope you've all had a good week and enjoy the weekend, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Seven: You Could Be Happy**

The next morning, Hermione could barely remember where she was. She hadn't woken such a warm feeling around her for a _long_ time. She opened her eyes, finding Harry's arms still wrapped around her from the front, and she knew that Ron was pressed up against her from behind.

She didn't want to get up yet. The three had stayed up late, crying into the night. She didn't want to face the day yet. She didn't want to have to deal with anything. All she wanted to do was fall back asleep.

"Mummy!"

All three of them shot up, looking around. She could practically feel the panic coming off of Harry, and the surprise coming off of Ron. Her eyes fell upon Isobel, who's dark hair was loose around her shoulders as she toddled over in her red and gold pajamas. She was pouting, but there weren't any tears - yet.

Hermione sighed and reached out her arms, scooping Isobel up onto the bed and holding her close.

"Good morning, love. What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

"I missed you!" Isobel shouted.

Hermione smiled and shook her head, kissing her forehead. "I was right in the next room the whole time, darling."

Suddenly, Faith came running into the room as well. "Izzy! Mummy says to let them sleep!"

Isobel shook her head and cuddled closer to Hermione. Faith climbed up onto the bed and onto Ron's lap. Hermione looked at him, laughing quietly at the shock on his face.

"It's alright, Faith. We're awake now." Hermione sighed.

"Auntie 'Mione! Ginny says you have to go dress shopping today!" Faith said.

Hermione couldn't help but hold in a groan, causing Ron to let out a loud laugh. She elbowed him lightly in the side before turning to look at Harry, who was staring - once again - at Isobel in wonderment. His eyes were red from all his tears, and he looked slightly pale - most likely from both crying and his hangover.

"Alright?" she whispered to him.

He shrugged lightly before looking down. Hermione looked back at Ron who looked just as concerned as she felt.

"Girls, would you go in the other room with Uncle Ron, please?" she asked. "Do you mind?"

Ron looked surprised - but in a good way - at being addressed as Uncle Ron. He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, okay. Come on, girls." he said, getting up and placing Faith down on the ground.

Isobel scrambled off the bed and began skipping after the two, leaving just Harry and Hermione. Hermione bravely touched his cheek, forcing him to look up at her.

"Hey." she said softly. "You're doing okay. You're making it through the night."

Harry sighed. "I wouldn't have without you two."

"Well, that's just the way the three of us are wired, isn't it? Even after all this time." she whispered.

"Hermione?" he asked softly.

She nodded, staring at him and dropping her hand from his cheek.

"When you go dress shopping... could I spend some time with Isobel?" he asked.

The pure vulnerability in his question made Hermione want to cry all over again. She knew that Bliss would have already planned to stay and watch the children, so Hermione knew that it would be okay.

"We can... we can stay here with Bliss and Faith. But... I just want to spend time with her." he continued.

Hermione nodded. "I think that would be okay. Isobel would really like it."

Harry grinned at her, nodding along for a moment before wincing and clutching his head. She knew that he was quite hungover and would go fetch Hangover Cure Potion once they got up. Before either one of them moved to get up, Harry pulled her in to a hug, surprising Hermione.

She let herself melt into the hug, resting her head in the crook of his neck and holding him tight. She breathed in his familiar scent and closed her eyes, trying not to succumb to the overwhelming sadness of knowing that he was engaged - that she had missed her chance with him.

She pulled away and wiped her eyes, smiling at him. "Come on. Let's get up."

**. . .**

"Alright, will you be a good girl while Mummy's gone?"

Harry watched as Hermione knelt down in front of Isobel, smoothing down her blue jumper and smiling at her. Isobel nodded quickly and Harry heard Hermione laugh.

"Of course you will be. You're always good, aren't you?" Hermione sighed, pulling Isobel into a hug.

Ron, Faith and Bliss were sitting in the living room already, waiting for him and Isobel to join them. Ginny was practically jumping up and down at the thought of finally going bridesmaid dress shopping - while Harry knew Hermione was positively dreading it. He understood, of course. How awkward was it to be the maid-of-honour in the father of your child's wedding?

"Come on, Hermione! She'll be fine." Ginny said, poking her head back into the room from the hallway of their flat.

Apparently Ginny had wanted to walk to the bridal shop with Hermione - something that Harry was nervous about. He knew that it was only because Ginny wanted to talk to Hermione about something. He just didn't know what about.

"Coming." Hermione called, as the door closed again.

Hermione looked up at Harry momentarily and he nodded at her, feeling his heart thump wildly. He had only watched her and Faith colour before - so he hadn't truly spent any time with his daughter. He could hardly wait.

"Darling, Harry's going to be spending some time with you, if that's okay." Hermione said kindly. "Is that okay?"

Isobel turned around to face him and grinned widely, nodding her head immediately. She walked to him, holding her arms up in the air. Harry knew she wanted to be picked up. He looked at Hermione and she nodded slowly at him. He carefully lifted her in his arms, smiling as she became eye level with him.

"Say goodbye to your Mum." Harry said softly.

"Bye, Mummy!" she squealed.

Hermione stepped closer and kissed Isobel's head again before smiling at Harry and walking out of the flat, leaving the two alone. Harry looked back at Isobel who's tiny arms were around him.

"What would you like to do?" he asked.

"Will you read me a story?" she said suddenly.

He laughed lightly and nodded at her. Of course she wanted a story - she was _Hermione's daughter_. Looking at Isobel up this close, he felt his broken heart swell slightly with love. Isobel was the most perfect person he had ever seen. He could see so much of Hermione in her - as well as so much of him. He could see _his_ parents in her. His inherited traits that _she_ had inherited as well. She was amazing, and he hardly knew her.

"Mummy says that you know." Isobel said, her voice small. "But that we can't tell anybody because it's a secret."

Harry's heart pained. He wanted to shout from the rooftops that he was a father. He had always wanted a family - and he knew that there was no one better to start one with than Hermione. He knew it wasn't fair to Isobel - or Hermione - to keep it a secret. He also knew that they had to be _very_ careful about how they announced it, especially to Ginny and Ron.

"It won't be a secret for long, okay?" Harry whispered. "I promise you that."

Isobel smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder. "Okay."

He knew that he should walk into the other room to join Ron and Bliss, but he couldn't do it yet. He wanted to spend a few more moments alone with his daughter. He rubbed her back slowly as she hugged him.

"I'm happy you're my Daddy." she whispered, looking back up at him with wide green eyes.

_Daddy_.

His own green eyes filled as he stared at her. Leaning close, he pressed a kiss to her forehead. He didn't know _how_ to be a father whatsoever, so he knew that he had to let his instincts guide him.

"I'm happy I'm your Daddy, too." he whispered back, never having meant something more.

**. . .**

"Alright, so why are we walking?" Hermione sighed.

She didn't want to beat around the bush with Ginny. She knew that she wanted to talk to her about something - she just wasn't sure what about. Ginny looked at her nervously and Hermione sighed again, rolling her eyes.

"I need to talk to you about Harry." she started slowly.

Hermione's insides froze. What if Ginny _knew_ somehow?

"Last night was bad, Hermione. I didn't see him much, but I _know_ it was bad." Ginny said.

Hermione nodded, feeling sad - and also relief. "It was."

"I'm so worried for him, Hermione. He hasn't gotten any better. He's refused to go to a counsellor all these years - he hasn't even tried it!" Ginny exclaimed. "I saw one. She helped _loads_. I'm not... not _normal_ in the sense that I used to be, but I have the capacity to feel joy. I can be happy."

Hermione took a deep breath as she listened. It continually broke her heart to hear about all she had missed with her friends. All she wanted to do was be there for them. She wondered if she would have made a difference, being there.

"But Harry... he's almost never happy. He can't do it. All he feels is pain and guilt and... _loss_. He blames himself for everything that's happened with the War. He can't stop it. He can't get past it." Ginny continued.

"He will stop, Gin. It's just taking him longer than others, you know?" Hermione said. "And that makes sense. He is _Harry Potter_. He's who it all came down to."

"I know. I know that. But..." Ginny sighed, shaking her head. "I don't know. I'm just glad you're here. He's needed you, Hermione. He's needed you big time."

"He's had you and -" Hermione started.

Ginny immediately cut her off. "No one can get through to him like you've always been able to. That much has always been clear to everyone."

Hermione didn't know what to say. She couldn't argue that fact. Ginny was right - Harry almost always _had_ listened to her, in a way. When it came down to things that really mattered.

"I swear, if he could, he'd have you as his best man." Ginny joked, nudging her in the ribs.

Guilt flashed hot through Hermione - as it did every time she thought of the wedding. It was so completely unfair to Ginny. She didn't deserve this at all. She had _no_ idea about her and Harry. Hermione could hardly stand it. She wanted to tell her - but she knew that she and Harry had to have a _long_ discussion about it first, and how to go about it.

"I'm so happy you're home." Ginny said, linking her arm through Hermione's.

The two made their way to the bridal shop in comfortable silence, both absorbed in their own thoughts. Hermione tried her best to push the guilt out of her mind, but she knew that she couldn't do it. All she could do was at least try to enjoy her time with Ginny, until everything fell apart again.

They were greeted in the bridal shop by Luna, Angelina and Fleur, all of whom hugged her tightly. She had been especially quiet at her homecoming dinner, and hadn't really spoken all that much to any of them. Hermione was more than pleased to find out that George was seeing Angelina. She could practically see the happiness glowing off of Angelina's face.

"How long have you and George been together now?" Hermione asked, as she sat with Angelina, Ginny and Luna while Fleur tried on the first dress.

"About a year and a half." Angelina said with a smile.

"And he's okay?" Hermione asked tenderly.

She could see the slight sadness in Angelina's eyes as she nodded slowly.

"He's okay. It's really hard sometimes, but... he's okay." Angelina said. "We're quite happy together. I've always fancied him."

"He laughs around you again. He didn't laugh for a long time." Ginny said, resting her head on Luna's shoulder.

"What about you and Neville, Luna?" Hermione asked.

Ginny and Angelina let out a loud laugh, startling Hermione. She looked around in confusion and saw Luna blush - something she was sure she had not seen in the confident witch.

"It's more recent. About six months now." she explained. "We ran into each other at the Leaky Cauldron..."

"And woke up together the next morning." Ginny snorted, playfully pushing Luna's shoulder.

Hermione let out a laugh and smiled. She truly had missed this. She hadn't had many girlfriends over the years, apart from Luna and Ginny. And even then they hadn't been _too_ close. When getting to know Bliss, Hermione had realized just how great a girlfriend could be. She had missed all of them.

"They've been inseparable ever since." Ginny added with a wink.

"He's really quite lovely." Luna said with a dreamy grin.

"Predictions are that you two will be the next to get married." Angelina said.

Fleur suddenly came out from behind the dressing room curtain, her brow furrowed and her arms crossed over her chest. The dress was an odd, dark green colour. It had an empire waistline and fell to her knees. It really wasn't pretty - and Fleur could make _anything _look good.

"Zis is absolutely 'orrible!" Fleur shouted.

"Not your best look, Fleur." Angelina said.

Fleur shook her head, turning around in the full length mirror and looking at them.

"I will say no to zis one." Fleur said flatly.

All the girls nodded, laughing as Fleur went back into the change room. Suddenly, Ginny was up on her feet, passing a lilac dress into Hermione's arms.

"Try this, try this!" Ginny said. "It's my favourite one, I think. I just wanted to make Fleur try on that one."

"I do not like you!" Fleur shouted from the behind the curtain.

Ginny laughed, and Hermione was happy to see that the two were actually getting along. Hermione knew that Fleur would most likely not be in the wedding if they weren't friends.

"Try it on, Hermione!" Luna said.

Hermione sighed and smiled, walking into another dressing room.

**. . .**

"No! It's like _this_." Isobel said.

Harry couldn't help but smile at his daughter as she pulled apart the Lego pieces to show him how to _properly_ build a house.

"Well, she's definitely got Hermione's bossy streak, doesn't she?" Ron called out with a laugh from behind him.

Ron was drawing pictures with Faith on the floor, as Bliss sat on the couch, watching them. Harry made eye contact with Bliss who smiled softly at him. She knew that he was having a hard time not telling Ron that she was _his_ daughter.

"Absolutely." Harry said.

"God, remember Charms class with her? _Leviosa_." Ron scoffed.

Harry couldn't help but laugh, remembering the young Hermione. He could see Isobel being exactly like her already.

"I'm just telling you!" Isobel exclaimed.

Harry nodded slowly at her, reaching forward and smoothing back her hair. Isobel paused her Lego building to smile at Harry and scoot closer. She climbed onto his lap, continuing to build.

"She's like that all the time, really." Bliss sighed. "But we tell her to use her _kind_ words, right Izzy?"

"Yes, Auntie Bliss." Isobel called out.

"Really, she's quite like her Mum in ways. They've both got that attitude." Bliss said with a laugh.

Harry smiled fondly, thinking of Hermione back in school when she had really showcased her spitfire attitude. When she hadn't taken anyone's bullshit.

"Oh yes they do. I put up with that _a lot_." Ron said.

"You brought it on yourself, mate." Harry sighed.

Isobel put the Lego down and made herself comfortable in Harry's lap. He picked her up, bringing her over to sit on the couch next to Bliss with him.

"Yeah, yeah." Ron said.

Harry was still surprised at how easily Ron was taking to Faith. He seemed almost completely natural with her - something he had never seen Ron do with neither Teddy Lupin nor Victoire Weasley.

"Mummy, can we get ice cream?" Faith asked.

"Ice cream!" Isobel said.

"Mummy, can we go?" Faith shouted.

"Yeah, Auntie Bliss! Ice cream!" Isobel added.

Harry was suddenly overwhelmed by their extreme excitement and could tell that Ron was feeling the same. Bliss, however, didn't look at all fazed.

"I've raised both these girls. I'm used to it." Bliss said. "Alright, girls. Ice cream it is. Clean up first, okay?"

Both girls sprung up and began cleaning up their things. Ron stood up and sat down on the other side of Bliss, who was rubbing her stomach as usual.

"They're actually quite well behaved, aren't they?" Ron commented.

"They are. They're both angels, even though they've got every reason not to be." Bliss sighed.

"What d'you mean?" Ron asked.

Bliss caught Harry's eye for a moment, shooting him a somewhat apologetic look.

"No fathers around. Just me and Hermione." Bliss said. "I wouldn't have been able to do it without her."

Before Harry or Ron could say anything else, Bliss stood up and smiled at the two of them.

"I really do need a lie down. The little one is kicking like mad. Would you two mind taking them out for ice cream?" Bliss asked.

The boys looked at each other for a moment before nodding at Bliss. She smiled, winking at them before heading off into the other room, leaving them with the two children.

"Are we babysitting?" Ron asked with a small laugh.

Harry smiled. "We might be."

The girls stood up and began jumping up and down, cueing Harry and Ron to get up off the couch. Harry pulled Isobel up into his arms and touched her on the nose playfully.

"You ready, monkey?" he asked.

She beamed widely at him before snuggling close, whispering in his ear. "Ready, Daddy."

Harry's heart stopped. He looked at her with almost misty eyes. Suddenly, he felt _lucky_ - something he hadn't felt in the longest of times. Of course, the situation with Isobel was more messy than anything, but Harry still felt lucky. This little girl was _his_. She was his and Hermione's and there was nothing better than that.

**. . .**

Hermione sat with Fleur, sipping champagne as they waited for Ginny to put on her wedding dress with the help of Angelina and Luna. Hermione hadn't drank champagne in a long time and was pleasantly surprised when the worker at the bridal shop had offered it to them.

"She is beautiful, 'ermione. Truly." Fleur said in a soft, low voice.

Hermione looked at her, smiling softly. "Thank you."

"Does he know zat she is his yet?" Fleur asked.

Hermione's eyes widened as Fleur kept staring at her, waiting for her answer. Hermione wanted to ask how Fleur knew, but she knew that would be pointless. One look at Isobel and putting two and two together makes Harry her father. It was so obvious.

"Yes." Hermione answered, her voice hardly audible.

"But no one else." Fleur said.

"No one else. We're still figuring that bit out." Hermione told her.

Fleur nodded, taking a sip of her champagne before smiling kindly at Hermione and placing a comforting hand on her arm.

"And zat is okay. It will all work out for the best, 'ermione. Zis I know." Fleur said.

Hermione pulled Fleur into a hug, holding her tight. "Thank you." she whispered, for more things than one.

Suddenly, Ginny came out from behind the curtain in a beautiful dress. The fabric stuck close to her body, covered in lace. Strapless, the dress had a sweetheart neckline and flattered every bit of Ginny possible. Hermione had never seen her look so beautiful.

Except for the rapid tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Ginny." Hermione said, standing up. "What's wrong?"

Luna and Angelina stepped out from the dressing room, concern written all over their faces as they watched Ginny, shaking their heads. Hermione stepped closer, grabbing her hand.

"What is it?" she asked again.

Ginny let out a sob, taking the champagne from Hermione's hand and gulping the remaining half a glass and downing it in one go.

"I don't know why I'm doing this." Ginny sobbed. "He doesn't want to get married! He's miserable with me!"

Hermione's heart stopped, knowing she was finally breaking down about Harry and his depressed antics. She looked around at Luna, Angelina and Fleur - all of whom didn't look nearly as surprised as Hermione felt. She was getting the sense that this wasn't the first time this had happened.

"Ginny, you know that he loves you. His misery has nothing to do with you." Angelina offered, placing a kind hand on Ginny's shoulder.

Ginny just shook her head. "He's not interested in anything to do with the wedding. He just doesn't care! I don't know why he bothered to propose in the first place!"

Ginny sat down next to Fleur, burying her head in her hands and continuing to sob. Hermione looked at Angelina and Luna for guidance, but neither one of them seemed to know what to do.

"Ginny, he proposed for a reason, alright?" Angelina continued.

"He wouldn't have if he didn't want to marry you." Hermione threw in, the words hurting her.

Ginny looked up at Hermione and shook her head. "You haven't been here, Hermione. He wasn't even happy when we first got engaged. He's never been excited about it. I swear, he's only with me because he doesn't want to be alone. Because I practically _forced_ him to stay with me after the War!"

Hermione looked around at them, finding Luna closing her eyes in almost frustration. What did Ginny mean she had forced him to stay with her? She wanted to ask desperately, but knew it was not the time nor place. Ginny was actually sitting in her _wedding dress_.

"You're over thinking it, okay? We've talked about this." Luna said softly.

Ginny shook her head. "He didn't want me last night, when he had one of his... _nights_. He wanted you, Hermione."

Hermione blushed deeply, shaking her head immediately. "No, no. Me and Ron just thought that you'd dealt with it enough and -"

"I know, I know. And thank you, but - Harry didn't want me there. I know that already. He wanted you. He needed _you_. He always needs you." Ginny sniffled.

Hermione had no idea what to say to that. She knew that there was nothing she could say to ease Ginny's insecurities - and if there was, Hermione was the _wrong_ person to say it.

"He was so out of it, Ginny." Hermione said softly. "I don't think he even knew what was going on."

"What else is new?" Ginny said bitterly.

She got up and walked back in behind the dressing room curtain. Luna crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head. Hermione hadn't a clue what to do now. Every time Ginny had written to Hermione about the wedding - or spoken about it since she'd been back - it had _always_ been positive. Everything about the wedding was positive, except for Harry the other night calling it _stupid_.

"This happens sometimes." Luna said softly. "We really don't know what to do about it."

"Except for maybe smacking Harry about the head." Angelina grumbled.

Fleur said nothing, only standing up and placing a compassionate hand on Hermione's shoulder for just a moment.

"We 'ave tried everything else. I do not know if we can do anything." Fleur sighed after a long moment of silence.

"Some days I think she might call off the wedding, since I know he won't do it." Angelina said.

"They simply are not 'appy together." Fleur added.

Hermione kept quiet, crossing her arms tight over her chest. She knew that she couldn't say anything. She really had no idea what the true nature of Ginny and Harry's relationship was. All she knew was that if she had not been so damn bloody scared back when she had been pregnant and actually _told_ Harry, all of this approaching pain and heartache.

"We've never been happy together." Ginny said, stepping back to join them.

She was practically shaking with tears now. Luna stepped to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in close. Hermione caught Luna's eye and instantly felt incredibly self-conscious - as in Luna knew something.

But how would Luna know something?

Then again, she _was_ Luna and Luna always seemed to know things that others didn't.

"Ginny, that's not true. You -" Angelina started.

"But it is! After the War, nothing was the same as it used to be. There was so much trauma and he never got past it - not even close!" Ginny whimpered.

Hermione could hardly listen to Ginny without feeling a stab of guilt at her every word. But, she knew that she had to be there for her friend. She walked up to Ginny and put her arm around her shoulder, once again catching Luna's mysterious eye.

"Come on, Gin. Let's take you back home, okay?" Angelina said softly.

The rest of the girls murmured their agreements and Hermione took a step back from Ginny. She turned to look at Fleur who was staring at Hermione in slight sympathy.

"What?" Hermione asked Fleur when the other three had already Disapparated back to Ginny's flat.

Fleur shook her head. "She loves 'arry so much. But... I think zat you love 'im more."

Hermione had not been expecting that. Before she could say anything back, Fleur had disappeared with the familiar _crack_.


	8. Scream and Shout

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **thank you for the reviews, as always. please tell me what you think! hope you all are well, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Eight: Scream and Shout**

Ron and Harry placed the two happy girls down and let them run inside the flat.

They had gotten ice cream, Isobel and Faith keeping them entertained by chattering on the whole time. Harry had been hanging onto his daughter's every word. Everything she said, whether it made sense or not, absolutely amazed him.

The two stepped into the living room, finding Bliss sitting on the couch with Hermione, who was seemingly staring hard at the floor. Bliss' hand was on her arm, rubbing it soothingly. Harry could see the concern in her face and Harry's heart instantly plummeted into his stomach.

"Hermione, are you okay?" Ron asked.

Bliss looked up at them and pressed her lips together, shaking her head ever so slowly. Ron and Harry exchanged a quick look before looking back at the pregnant woman, whose attention was now back on Hermione.

"She's fine." Bliss said. "She's just fine."

"Harry." Hermione said, surprising him. "Ginny's quite upset. I think you should go see her."

Harry's heart stopped and he couldn't help but let out a sigh. "What's she upset about?"

Hermione shook her head. "Just go talk to your fiancée, Harry."

Hermione looked up at him and Harry blushed. There was a certain kind of intensity in her gaze that he knew would immediately suck him in if he didn't look away. He wanted to stay with Hermione and find out what was wrong with _her_ before going to see Ginny - and that should definitely tell him something.

Slowly, he made his way to his bedroom. He could already hear Ginny sniffling when he reached the door. His hand paused on the doorknob - he wished he was better at comforting Ginny. He had become absolutely useless at it. He honestly didn't know why Ginny even still bothered with him.

If _he_ was Ginny, he would have left a long time ago - Harry had hardly ever shown her a reason to stay, and he knew it.

"Gin?" he called out softly, cracking open the door and stepping inside.

"Please leave me alone, Harry." she said at once.

Harry walked in and shut the door, sitting down next to her on the bed. He reached over and touched her shoulder carefully.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Ginny looked at him, her eyes reddened and her face pale as it always was when she cried.

"How come you don't let me in?" she asked, her voice shaking.

"Ginny, I -" Harry started, unsure of where to begin.

"You don't ever let me in, Harry. And you never have. Not the way you let in Ron or-or-or Hermione." Ginny said. "You refuse with me, Harry. You don't... you're not the same."

Harry dropped his hand and felt himself immediately begin to retreat inwards. He didn't want to talk about this, not at all. He could feel himself shutting down, feel himself getting ready to run and drink. He could feel himself about to be unnecessarily cruel to Ginny, as he sometimes was.

But Isobel's smiling face suddenly popped into his mind, and he knew that he had to try. He had to try to be a better person.

"I'm not the same." he said cautiously. "I don't know how to be. I don't know if I _want_ to be."

Ginny looked up at him in shock, as if she hadn't expected him to agree with her. When she said nothing, he knew that he had to continue.

"Ron and... and Hermione... we're different. We're different together than you and me are, you know? It's always been the three of us. It was the three of us for so long. And then... then it was you and me." Harry said, trying to phrase his words as delicately as possible.

"We're getting _married_, Harry. Actually and properly married. You need to be able to let me in. You _have_ to trust me just as much as you do them." she said.

"I do trust you. You know I trust you."

And it was true. He did trust Ginny - he just knew that he didn't _deserve_ her. He didn't love her the way _she_ deserved. And if he knew what he was doing, he should have never proposed to her in the first place.

"It's not enough, Harry." Ginny sniffled. "I don't know how to help you. You don't know how to help me. It's all... it's just not enough."

Harry had no idea where Ginny was going with this. Of course, this wasn't the first time Ginny had had a breakdown like this - they usually ended in them fighting and then making up a few hours later. But Harry didn't want to fight with her this time. Not anymore.

"Look, I'm fine, Harry." Ginny said, tucking her knees up to her chest. "I'm just having a breakdown right now. Give me an hour and I'll be alright."

"Ginny... let me help you." he said.

Ginny shook her head. "I don't need help. You don't let me help you, why should I let you help me?"

Harry stood up, crossing his arms over his chest. He knew she was right. He never let her in - _ever_. He didn't let anybody in. He couldn't, not anymore. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair and looked at Ginny who was staring defiantly back at him.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked her, shrugging his shoulders. "I'm sorry that I am the way I am? Because you _know_ that I am. You know that I don't choose to be this way."

"Except, maybe you do!" Ginny shouted, kneeling on the bed now and raising herself to his eye level.

Ginny and him had been dealing with difficulties for a long time now, but she had never outright blamed him for being the way he was. She had never told him that it was _him_ who chose to be that way.

He shook his head quickly. "Why? Why would I choose to be this - this _person_ - when I could be who I used to be? When I could be someone _better_ than that?"

Ginny huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I don't know, Harry. You tell me."

Harry knew he couldn't say anything - if he did, he knew he would regret it. It was better to stay silent in this case.

"You would think that after _three_ years, you'd have made some sort of change in your life. You would've done _something_ to help yourself - like the rest of us did. But you've done _nothing_. You've... you've done nothing." Ginny continued.

Harry felt his eyes swell up with tears and he silently cursed. He did _not_ want to fall apart in front of Ginny - especially when his falling apart was what their current argument was about in the first place.

"I've... I've tried." Harry said, his voice breaking stubbornly.

Ginny shook her head. "Night after night I come in here, finding you either drunk, drinking or trying to hide those photographs of yours and -"

Harry's head snapped up to look at her. He didn't know that Ginny knew about his photographs. He hadn't looked at them since she had told him Hermione was coming back - he hadn't needed to. Ginny's face was dark, and she was crying once more. He took a step back, crossing his arms over his chest.

"What - you think I haven't seen them?" she asked, laughing bitterly. "You think I haven't figured out how you feel about her?"

Harry's insides froze. He felt his face pale immediately as she stared at him, directly in the eye. Ginny looked almost sadder than he had ever seen - and that was saying something.

Now, he didn't know _what_ to say.

**. . .**

"This is such a mistake. I shouldn't have come back." Hermione whispered.

She felt Bliss rub her shoulder and she opened her eyes. She found Ron crouching down on the floor in front of her, his hand on her knee.

"What?" he asked. "Hermione - what does that have to do with Ginny being upset?"

Hermione just shook her head, allowing her tears to slip freely from her cheeks. She looked at Bliss whose lips were pressed tightly together. Hermione knew she was thinking about what to say - and struggling with it.

The way Ginny had been speaking at the bridal shop had made Hermione know that when the truth about Isobel came out, everything would be worse than ever. It wasn't that Hermione shouldn't have come back - it was that she shouldn't have _left_. She shouldn't have let her hormones, high emotions and fear take over when she had seen Ginny and Harry kiss those years ago, when she had been planning to tell him the truth. She shouldn't have let her fear prevent her from coming back to tell him the truth after Isobel was born.

But then what was she supposed to do - show up with a newborn?

Hermione didn't know if that was better than showing up with an almost three year old.

"Talk to me, Hermione." Ron said softly.

Hermione laughed lightly. "Ron, when have we ever been good at talking out problems?"

Ron smiled feebly at her then before sliding up onto the couch next to her. He surprised her by reaching forward and brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes, tucking it gently behind her ear and letting his fingers graze her cheek.

"Let's try it now, okay?" he whispered.

Hermione raised her eyebrows at him. "Really?"

"Always the tone of surprise." Ron smirked.

Hermione remembered the two speaking those familiar words to one another during the years of the War. Instantly, her eyes filled with more tears and he pulled her into his arms, hugging her tightly.

"You crying makes me feel _so_ uneasy." Ron sighed when they pulled away. "You've always been the strong one, Hermione."

Hermione shook her head. "No, I haven't. The clever one, maybe. The book one."

Hermione had never felt strong - especially in that moment. She felt _weak_. If she was truly strong, she never would have left. She would have told Harry after the War despite everything else.

"Bollocks. You're just hard on yourself." Ron said.

"Mummy?"

Hermione looked up to find Isobel in front of them, reaching up to Hermione who plucked her into her arms and sat her on her lap.

"Can we stay here?" Isobel asked in her little voice. "Uncle Ron and-and-and Harry took us out for ice cream! I like it here."

She could hear the happiness and excitement in Isobel's voice when she said her father's name. She looked down into her little girl's green eyes and nodded slowly. She knew that she couldn't go back to Australia now - not permanently. No matter what happened with Harry, she would never take their daughter away from him ever again.

"Yes, love." Hermione answered. "We can stay here."

She looked back at Bliss who looked suddenly incredibly proud. Hermione had never outright said to Bliss that she would stay in England - even though Bliss had brought up that possibility many times in the week before their trip.

"That's my girl." Bliss whispered with a nudge to Hermione's ribs.

Suddenly, they heard a shriek of voices from the other room. It was obvious that it was Ginny and Harry yelling at one another. Hermione looked at Ron who was already shaking his head, as if he had seen this a million times before. She looked down at Isobel, who's thin eyebrows were narrowed together.

"Don't listen, Izzy. Don't listen." she whispered, holding Isobel closer.

Faith suddenly came running in the room, hands over her ears as she scrambled up between Hermione and Bliss. She looked incredibly upset - loud noises had a tendency to scare her. There had been a lot of yelling when the two girls were younger and Faith's father had come to reason with Bliss - it had always ended with him hitting her.

"It's okay, Faith." Bliss said. "Nothing bad's going to happen, okay? Nothing."

Faith began to cry and Hermione knew this whole thing was turning into an all out disaster. Harry and Ginny were screaming at one another, Hermione herself was crying, Bliss was being quite silent and Faith was having a somewhat post-traumatic stress meltdown.

Perfect.

**. . .**

"I - uh - what?" Harry stammered.

Ginny stood up next to him, practically shaking. "You have all those pictures of you and Hermione from school - don't you think that says something?"

"Ginny, I just - I missed her. She's - she's my best friend and she left and -" Harry said.

This was not the way Harry wanted things to unfold with Ginny. He didn't want to tell her about Isobel until he had spoken with Hermione and they had figured out the best way to go about it. And while he knew it was unfair, he didn't exactly want to tell Ginny how desperately in love he was with Hermione. He didn't want all the truth to come tumbling down at once - especially in this way, where there was so much anger and bitterness.

"And it fucked you up! It fucked you right up! Practically more than the bloody War!" Ginny screamed. "You could handle the War and everybody dying, but you couldn't handle the girl of your dreams running off on you!"

Now, Harry was angry. He couldn't help it anymore. She had _no_ right to say that about him. She knew what kind of a toll the War had taken on him - what kind of a toll it had taken on _all_ of them. She didn't get to say these things.

"She's _Hermione_. She's my family." was all Harry could say.

"And I'm your fiancée." Ginny said bitterly. "I think you forget that."

Suddenly, there came a knock at the door. Ginny angrily stormed over and yanked it open.

"_What_?" she shouted upon seeing Ron on the other side.

"It's a simple spell, guys. _Muffliato_." Ron said, narrowing his eyes at them. "Faith is now inconsolable, because she hates yelling. And apparently when Faith starts to cry, _Isobel_ starts to cry and it's a whole mess since Hermione was already crying and Bliss is pregnant and claiming to be extra hormonal - so I've been dealing with four crying girls out there and all you need to do is cast _Muffliato_."

Without thinking, Harry stepped out of the room, moving past Ron. Sure enough, when he made it into the living room, he found all four girls crying. Faith and Isobel were practically wailing while a tearful Bliss and Hermione attempted to calm them down.

"Shit." he heard Ginny mutter from behind him.

He turned his head slightly to find that Ron and Ginny had followed him. Before Harry could stop himself, he headed over to Hermione and Isobel, crouching down in front of them. Hermione caught his eye for a moment before her lip quivered and she began to cry even more.

"Do you mind if I take her?" he asked softly, gesturing to Isobel.

Hermione looked down at Isobel and nodded. Harry didn't even have to say anything to his daughter - she came easily into his arms, burying her face in his shoulder as she cried. He began to rub her back soothingly. He wasn't sure how he knew exactly what to do with his daughter - he just did.

"It's alright, Isobel. It's alright." he whispered.

He turned back around to Ginny having picked up Faith in her arms, attempting to calm the toddler down. Ron was sitting between Bliss and Hermione, allowing Hermione to lean on him as he held Bliss' hand. He caught eyes with Ginny and knew that their argument wasn't over - they had been getting dangerously close to the subject of Harry's feelings for Hermione.

He did know that they did have to put things on pause for the moment. He stepped closer to her, shifting Isobel in his arms and feeling pleased as her cries began to soften. He pressed his lips against Ginny's forehead and nodded slowly at her. She smiled weakly and nodded back, pressing her lips to his.

With the fight on pause, Harry knew that it could go one of two ways - a quiet resolution, or an all out explosion.

And Harry really didn't know which one would be best.


	9. Avoidance

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note: **I hope you're all well. thank you for everyone who's been taking the time to read this - PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Nine: Avoidance**

Two weeks later and the fight was still on pause.

The air between Ginny and Harry had been incredibly tense at times, when it wasn't silent. Harry couldn't help but notice that Hermione was avoiding him more than ever. He had been spending a lot of time with Isobel, Ron, Faith and Bliss. Hermione was often there, as well - but remained almost completely silent.

He knew that Hermione and him couldn't continue like this for long. He hated the fact that Isobel had to keep it a secret that he was her father - it wasn't fair to her. It wasn't fair to anyone. He noticed that when other people were around, Isobel didn't address him as anything - but when she could whisper to him, or they were alone, she called him her dad and there was nothing better than that.

The fact that there was six weeks before the wedding was eating away at him. Him and Ginny hadn't brought up anything from their fight, but he knew that they couldn't ignore it forever. He honestly wasn't even sure if she still wanted to marry him.

And did he still want to marry her?

Harry looked up from his spot on the floor with Isobel. The two were colouring pictures while Hermione sat nearby on the couch, reading. He stared at Hermione, feeling his heart warm incredibly with a feeling he had long associated with her - followed by absolute guilt when Ginny popped into his mind.

Ginny was at work, and Ron was out with Faith and Bliss - both of whom he had been spending _a lot_ of time with. This would be a perfect time to talk to Hermione, but he knew that he had to be the one to approach the subject. She was barely even acknowledging him recently.

"I've got to talk to your Mum for a second, okay? Keep colouring, monkey." Harry said softly, patting Isobel on the head before getting up and sitting down on the couch.

"Okay, Daddy." Isobel called out.

Hermione barely looked up from her book at him. He sighed, taking it out of her hands, causing her to pout and him and narrow her eyebrows.

"I was reading that." she said.

Harry smiled softly, thinking back to Hogwarts when he and Ron would practically have to yank a book out of her hand if they wanted a word with her.

"Don't you think we need to talk?" he sighed.

Hermione shrugged. "About?"

"I don't know - maybe telling people about our daughter?" Harry said bitterly.

Hermione's cheeks flushed slightly and she tucked her knees up to her chest. He watched her gaze fall to Isobel on the ground before looking back up at him.

"What do you want to do?" Hermione asked.

Harry opened his mouth to speak before closing it. He hadn't exactly thought that far. He wanted to tell people, but he really had no idea how to go about it.

"Exactly. It's not that simple, is it?" Hermione sighed. "I want to tell people. But, we just need to be careful how we do it. I really don't fancy your fiancée hexing me to death."

"I don't think she would -"

"If we had told her when I first got here, we might have been okay. But now that we've been keeping it a secret for the last two weeks... she might be a bit more angry."

Harry went silent, thinking it over. He knew that she was right, but there was nothing more that they could do about it. They had to tell. They had to.

"Look." Hermione started, her voice much more soft. "We need to tell her. Just like we need to tell Ron and everyone else in our lives. But... we've just got to be careful, okay? We really need to think about how the best way to do it is."

Harry nodded slowly. Before he could help himself, he reached out and grabbed her hand, squeezing it tightly before stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. He watched her eyes widen at him and he just attempted a small smile.

He suddenly heard the door open and dropped her hand, immediately wishing that he hadn't. Hermione looked as though she was retreating back into herself, hugging her knees to her chest. Ron, Bliss and Faith came back into the room just as there was a crack of Apparition and Ginny appeared before them.

"Oh brilliant, you're all here!" Bliss said with a smile, sitting down on Harry's other side.

Faith was in Ron's arms, resting her head on his shoulder and showing no signs of wanting to let go. He knew already that Ron was coming to love Faith - something he knew that no one had expected.

"What's up?" Ginny said.

Ginny smiled feebly at him and he stood up, walking to her and placing a kiss on the top of her head. When she didn't relax into him - like she used to - he knew that they still weren't right. So, he sat back down with Isobel, deciding to play it safe. Isobel climbed happily into his lap and looked up at Bliss.

"Well, the girls have been driving me and Hermione crazy about wanting to go to the beach." Bliss started. "And my parents' house is actually _on_ the beach, and they're on holiday in Australia right now, and they've said we could go there for this weekend if we'd like."

Isobel jumped out of his lap and began jumping up and down, with Faith doing the same. He couldn't help but grin at his daughter, catching Hermione's eye and noticing her doing the same.

"Oh thank God." Hermione sighed. "They've been driving us bloody nuts."

Bliss nodded. "So, is everybody in? There's room for all of us."

"Yeah! Sounds brilliant." Ron agreed.

Harry nodded, excited to get to go somewhere with Isobel. "Absolutely."

Harry looked at Ginny who was almost pouting, her eyebrows raised in sadness. She was shaking her head as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"I have to work this weekend. I can't." Ginny sighed.

Harry's heart fell - did this mean that he couldn't go either? Would it be bad if he went without Ginny? He didn't want to be away from Isobel for a second.

"Oh, no." Bliss said. "That's too bad, no way around it?"

Ginny shook her head. "I'm afraid not. I had to work a few extra weekends to get some time off for the wedding."

Harry looked at Ginny, waiting for her to look at him. What if he couldn't go? Well, it wasn't as if Ginny could dictate whether or not he could go, but he really didn't want to make things worse between them than they already were. If he did go without Ginny - it would be a perfect oppourtunity for Harry and Hermione to talk about what to do with Isobel.

"But, by all means, the rest of you go. I'd hardly be home this weekend anyways." Ginny said with a tight smile.

Ginny looked down at Harry and nodded at him, as if saying it was okay for him to go without him. He was still quite nervous about how she felt about him being around Hermione - as she hadn't elaborated on what she had meant by knowing how he felt about her.

"I think it'd be good for you to go somewhere, Harry." Ginny said. "You've hardly left this flat for... forever now."

Harry knew she was right about that. He hadn't gone on a trip anywhere in... well, he wasn't sure if he ever really had. He had stayed close to the flat for years now - since they had bought it.

"Right, well, I was thinking we could leave first thing tomorrow morning and come back here on Sunday. Gives us two nights there - should be enough to please the girls, right?" Bliss said with a smile. "Plus the weather's supposed to be lovely this weekend."

Two nights. Two nights to talk to Hermione.

**. . .**

Two nights. Two nights to be relatively alone with Harry and have the discussion she had been dreading.

The most important discussion she was probably ever going to have.

She wanted to tell everyone that Isobel was Harry's daughter, but it was _so_ scary. She knew that she couldn't let her fear of repercussions hold her back though, it wasn't fair to Izzy.

"Well, I'll give one of you my camera so you can take lots of pictures, okay?" Ginny said, smiling at Bliss tightly.

Hermione knew it would be good to get out of the flat for a few days. Ever since the big meltdown of Ginny - and well, _everyone_ - the atmosphere had been incredibly tense. She had been avoiding Harry at all costs, trying to show Ginny that Harry was _hers_ and that he didn't want her anymore than he wanted Ginny.

Trying to ignore Harry was absolutely killing her.

She had noticed the tense interactions between Ginny and Harry as well, noticing that they hadn't quite gotten past their fight - whatever they had been fighting about. Maybe a few days apart would help them. And maybe in a few days... Ginny would know that Harry was Isobel's father, be angry at the both of them for keeping it a secret and never speak to either one of them ever again.

Yeah. There was also _that_ possibility.

Later on, when both kids, Ginny and Bliss had all gone to bed, it was just Harry and Hermione sitting up in the living room. Ron had stuck around for dinner, staying until Bliss had decided that she needed to go to sleep, and promised to be back early in the morning to meet them for their trip. Hermione was curled up on the couch reading a book.

Well - _trying_ to read a book. She could feel Harry's eyes on her from across the room. She wanted to go somewhere else, but she didn't want to turn on a light in her room with Isobel sleeping there, and Hermione knew that she couldn't sleep yet herself.

"_What_, Harry?" Hermione sighed, looking up at him.

His eyes widened as his cheeks turned a light shade of red. She knew that he hadn't known that she had noticed him staring at her. She raised her eyebrows expectantly at him and sighed. When he didn't say anything to her and just kept staring, she gestured for him to join her on the couch.

He got up quickly, sitting a few inches apart from her. Still, she noticed how much closer he was to her. It hurt to be this close to him without being able to touch him in some way. But, she knew that she couldn't. He wasn't hers, and as much as she might like to think he was, he may never have been.

Maybe he was always Ginny's.

"Isobel's really excited about tomorrow, isn't she?" Harry started.

Hermione nodded. "Yeah. Her and Faith love the beach. In Australia, they'd bug us to go almost everyday since it was quite close to our house."

Harry smiled sadly, and Hermione noticed just how sad it was. She put her book down on the ground and slid a little closer to him.

"Harry, what is it?" she whispered.

He shook his head. "Just... _why_, Hermione? I missed the first two, almost three years of her life. I missed it all. Why couldn't you have stayed?"

Hermione's heart stung with guilt and pain. She closed her eyes, turning her head away from him. She _hated_ that she had left more than ever. She could hear the utter heartbreak in his voice.

"I... I did what I thought was best. And then when she was born... I thought it was too late. And I knew if I said no to Ginny about coming to the wedding, she'd come over to Australia and see me and tell everyone about Isobel anyways." Hermione whispered. "I just did what I thought was best for her."

"Didn't you think that having both a mother _and_ a father that love her around is the best thing?" he said, his voice changing into something much more bitter.

Hermione's eyes welled up in tears now and she nodded. "Yes. And that's why she's lucky to have both of us now. Things were so crazy after the War, especially here. I didn't want her to have to deal with that."

"I still missed her life, Hermione. I _missed_ it." he whispered.

Hermione slowly pulled her wand out of her pocket and muttered the spell to herself. In zoomed a photo album - one she had begun to put together a long time ago. It landed on Harry's lap and he looked at her with wide eyes.

"I started making that a long time ago for you. I didn't want you to miss anything." she whispered softly.

She scooted up right next to him and turned it open to the first page - a picture of her two month pregnant stomach, taken not long after she had first known. Underneath, _two months_ was written in Hermione's cursive writing. Harry looked at her, his eyes about to pop out of his head, even though Hermione wasn't even showing in the picture.

"I had a camera with me in the tent that I kept in my bag. I'd... every month I'd remove the concealment charm in the bathroom and take a picture... to show you if we made it out alive." Hermione explained.

Harry looked down at the page in wonderment. He turned the pages, seeing her stomach as it grew and grew until she was nine months. He looked back up at her, his eyes watering with tears.

"I didn't... I never pictured you looking like this when you told me. I don't know why, I just... didn't." he whispered, pointing to the last pregnancy picture of Hermione.

She was turned to the side to showcase her stomach, but her head was turned to smile at the camera. Bliss had taken the photo a few days before Hermione's due date. She was laughing at something Bliss had said, but Hermione could see the sadness in her own eyes. The sadness that never seemed to go away.

"You look..." he started.

"Alarmingly pregnant? Yeah." Hermione said with a small laugh. "God, it was uncomfortable."

"Well, yeah, but..." Harry started, turning his head to look at her. "Beautiful. You look so beautiful."

A tear leaked down from Hermione's eye and she wiped it quickly. "Harry..."

"Please tell me you weren't alone when Izzy was born. Please." he said, his voice thick.

Hermione reached for his hand instinctively, giving it a squeeze. "No, no. I wasn't alone, Harry. Bliss was there, okay? Bliss was there."

Harry nodded, and Hermione felt his tears fall onto her hand. She turned the page, her eyes falling onto a photograph of Hermione sitting up in her hospital bed, holding the newborn Isobel. It had been taken a couple hours after she was born, and Hermione was still crying. She could remember not being able to stop, overcome with the emotions of how much she loved Isobel and how much she wished Harry was there. Even then, she had a sprinkle of Harry's colour hair atop her head.

"She... she's so tiny." Harry gasped, looking back and forth between Hermione and the photo. "She's gorgeous."

The next photo was one just of Isobel in her bassinet back at their home in Australia. She was asleep, her little hands moving about. Hermione was waiting for Harry to notice it. It was right under the picture - the caption Hermione had wrote.

"Hermione." he said, his voice stranger than Hermione had ever heard it.

_Isobel Lily Potter_, was what Hermione had wrote. It was the name on the birth certificate. It was Isobel's name and Isobel knew it, too. She knew that her last name wasn't Granger like her Mum.

"I-I-I didn't even think to ask about her middle name, let alone her-her-her -" Harry stammered, looking up at Hermione.

He was shedding silent tears by the second as he stared at her. She knew that she was, too. His hands gently cupped her face and she felt her heart skip a beat. Gently, he pressed a slow kiss to her forehead and Hermione closed her eyes. She couldn't deny how much she wanted to kiss him - _really_ kiss him - right then. But she knew that she couldn't.

_He's engaged to Ginny, he's engaged to Ginny, he's engaged to Ginny..._ she kept repeating over and over in her head.

"This is really her name?" he whispered, pulling back and taking her hands in his.

Hermione nodded slowly. "It really is. I hope that's okay. It felt right."

"It's more than okay." Harry said softly. "It's perfect."

**. . .**

Harry hardly knew what to do with the emotions inside him.

He stared down at Isobel's face, absorbing every image Hermione had captured for him over the last two years and ten months. He couldn't believe how much intense love he felt for her. A few pictures, Isobel was with Faith, or Bliss, or Hermione. Each one she had a huge smile on her face.

When they reached the end of the album, Harry just wanted to keep going. He wanted to look at pictures from the time he had missed with Isobel forever.

_Isobel Lily Potter_.

"It's yours, Harry." Hermione said softly, closing the album in his hands. "I've got more copies of the photos, and I made that album for you."

Harry looked at Hermione, squeezing her hand as tightly as he could. He allowed himself to look into her eyes, the eyes he had had memorized for what felt like his entire life. He reached forward and tucked a curl behind her ear, letting his fingers graze her cheek. He watched as she closed her eyes, seemingly taking a deep breath in.

God, he wanted to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her so badly. He _needed _to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her and hold her and tell her how much he loved her and how he would love her and Isobel for the rest of his life. He wanted _his_ life to be _their_ life, their life together.

He watched a tear fall from Hermione's eye as her lip quivered. He knew he couldn't kiss her. It wouldn't be fair - not to her, not to Ginny, not to anyone.

He thought back to the moment before he had gone into the Forest in the Final Battle, when he had confessed his love to Hermione and she had said it back. In that moment, he had promised himself that if he made it out alive, him and Hermione would be together.

And then he hadn't been able to get to her before she had left for Australia.

"Harry..." she whispered, her voice breaking and barely audible.

Harry couldn't answer her. He was afraid to open his mouth, for fear that he wouldn't be able to hold back his confession of love. He looked at her, finding her eyes open, now staring right back at him.

"Harry, I -" she started.

Harry's heart pounded. What was she going to say? Was she thinking the same thing as he?

"Mummy!"

They both froze, dropping each other's hand quickly and turning their heads to find Isobel running into the room. She was clutching a lion close to her face, tears streaming down her eyes.

"Isobel, what are you doing out of bed? It's late." Hermione said, wiping away all evidence of her own tears and scooping her into her arms.

"I had bad dream." Isobel whimpered, cuddling herself into Hermione.

"It's okay, sweetheart." Hermione whispered, rubbing Isobel's back. "It was just a dream, okay? Everything's just fine."

Harry cleared his throat in an attempt to find his voice. He wanted to help Isobel, he wanted to comfort her. He wanted to _be there_ for her.

"Mummy's right, Isobel. Just a dream." he said, reaching forward and rubbing her back alongside Hermione.

Isobel looked up and held out her arms to Harry. Hermione nodded at him and instantly Isobel was in his arms. He held her close, letting her cry out her bad dream into his shoulder.

"Daddy, I don't like bad dreams." she whimpered.

"Me neither, Izzy. Me neither."

He looked back up at Hermione who was staring at him, biting her lip. He wondered what would have happened if Isobel hadn't come into the room. What had Hermione been about to say? Would Harry have kissed her?

He didn't know, and he knew that he couldn't focus on that now. All he could focus on was Isobel.

Isobel Lily Potter.


	10. In My Head

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** I realize that it was yesterday, but happy birthday to J.K. Rowling and Harry Potter! 3 thank you so much for reading, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Ten: In My Head**

"Mummy! Look at me, Mummy!"

Hermione smiled as she looked at Isobel and Faith's sandcastle. The two girls were wearing matching black and white polka dot bathing suits - the ones they had picked out for themselves in Australia. Ron was next to them, watching and helping them build their sandcastle.

The beach wasn't much compared to the ones the girls had been used to in Australia, but it was sand and water and enough to please them. Hermione looked over at Bliss who was seated in a lounge chair next to her, her hands on her stomach as she stared over at the kids behind her sunglasses.

The kids, or Ron.

"Bliss." Hermione said, her lips turning up in a smirk.

"Hm?" Bliss said, turning her head to look at her.

Hermione looked back at Ron, making sure he was definitely out of earshot. "You like him."

Bliss gasped, looking back at Ron to see if he had heard. "I do not!"

"Bliss."

"God, I'm _pregnant_."

"Pregnancy does not stop you from _liking_ someone."

"I don't like him."

"Bliss."

Bliss groaned and looked back at the kids - and Ron - a pout on her lips. She let out another anxious moan, putting her sunglasses atop her blonde hair and looking at Hermione.

"Is it really that obvious?" she moaned.

Hermione shrugged. "No. I just know both of you very well."

"I'm sorry... is it weird if I do?" Bliss asked. "Because you two..."

Hermione shook her head immediately. "No. God, no. Not at all. I may have felt that way in the past, but... you know who it's always been for me."

Bliss nodded softly in understanding. "Right."

"Besides, I think that you two would be great together." Hermione complimented.

She watched Bliss' cheeks turn pink as she smiled shyly. "Thanks."

A few minutes later, Harry walked up the beach towards them. He had gone on a walk almost an hour ago. Hermione knew that he was trying to clear his head. She could have sworn that last night he had been about to kiss her, or at least _considering_ possibly kissing her. She had wanted it _so _badly. She had almost told him just how she felt about it, but when Isobel had come in, she had come back to her senses.

She had already dumped one life changing thing on him - did he really need another?

Harry sat down on his chair next to Hermione, only nodding at both of them in greeting. Immediately, Isobel ran up to him, hopping onto his lap and into his arms. She watched as a genuine smile came across his face, bringing pure happiness into his saddened eyes.

"Hello, monkey." he said, kissing her forehead.

"Hi, Daddy." she whispered.

Hermione sighed, looking back at Ron who was still playing with Faith. Everyone else - possibly even Faith - on their trip to the beach knew that Harry was Isobel's father. Apart from Ron, it didn't have to be a secret. She wanted to tell Ron. But could she do that before Harry or herself told Ginny?

Ron hardly had a right to be mad - apart from the fact that they hadn't told him sooner. Of course, he could be mad about what happened in the tent because both Harry and Hermione had known about how Ron had felt about Hermione at the time. Then again, Ron had left them all alone.

"Hermione."

Hermione looked up, snapping out of her thoughts. Ron had said her name.

"Yeah?" she answered.

"Are you alright?" he asked, narrowing his eyes together.

He got up, sending Faith off to Bliss and making his way towards her. She nodded her head quickly, but his expression remained unchanged. He held out her hand, helping her out of her chair.

"Come for a walk with me." Ron said.

Hermione turned back to look at Harry, who was already nodding at her to indicate that he would keep an eye on Isobel. Ron didn't say anything until they made it to the edge of the water, letting their toes get wet as they strolled along the shoreline.

"What's wrong?" Ron asked.

Hermione shook her head, plastering on a fake smile. "Nothing's wrong."

"Bollocks. Don't lie to me, Hermione. It's pointless." he sighed.

Hermione sighed, looking out at the water. She really wanted to tell Ron just what exactly was going on - but she didn't know if she could do that without consulting Harry. She didn't want to do anything else wrong that would make Harry any more angry towards her. She knew that he was still angry at her for keeping Isobel away - and she didn't blame him. She wouldn't ever blame him for that - not if he was angry for the rest of his life.

"I..." she started quietly. "I just don't know what to do."

"About what?" he asked.

She just shook her head. She didn't know what to say, or how to say it. Ron sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they walked. It was nice being with Ron like that - a nice, friendship. Just like the one they should have always had.

"You know..." he said, stopping and standing in front of her. "I always thought that if you'd stayed, we could have been amazing together."

Hermione's heart dropped. She did _not_ want to talk about that. Not when Bliss had just confessed she liked Ron. However, Hermione could tell that Ron liked Bliss as well.

"But, I think now I know that we wouldn't have lasted."

Hermione's eyes widened, raising her eyebrows. "You think so?"

"Yeah. I mean... it took me a long time to get over you, Hermione. I've only really just done it, but... I don't think we would have lasted. We probably would have ended up resenting each other in some way." he said.

Hermione nodded. She agreed with him. If Hermione had never realized her true feelings for Harry, or had never gotten pregnant and left, she doubted that her and Ron would have worked out for the long term.

"I loved you, Hermione." Ron said quietly. "I really, _really_ did. And I still love you. Just... in a way that's better for _us_, you know? I don't want to say like a sister, because it's not like that, but -"

Hermione threw her arms around him, causing him to stumble backwards momentarily. He caught his balance and wrapped his arms back around her, holding her close. It was comforting, more than comforting. It brought her a sense of home that she had longed for in Australia.

"I loved you, too, Ron." she whispered.

And she meant it. Hermione knew that she had loved Ron. Not as much as she loved Harry, but she did know that she had loved it. And it had hurt like hell when he had left her in the tent, and throughout Sixth Year at Hogwarts. But Ron was right - the kind of love they held for each other now was better. It was tender, it was pure, it was _friendship_. Deep friendship. Family. The kind of family that would always go above and beyond for the other person.

"You're not mad anymore?" she said, pulling back from him.

He had a sly smile on his face. "I'm _always_ mad at you."

She nudged him with her elbow and laughed. "That's my line."

They began walking again and Ron grabbed her hand, holding it tight. It wasn't in a romantic way, it was just comforting. She knew that he could tell she needed a friend right now, and he was being there for her. And that was more than she could have ever asked for from him.

"Do you want to talk about whatever's going on?" he asked.

"I do, but... I don't know if I can yet." she whispered back.

He nodded in understanding, giving her hand another squeeze. "When you think you can, I'll still listen."

"Thank you, Ron." Hermione said.

"It's got something to do with Harry, doesn't it?"

Hermione froze, stopping their walk again and stepping in front of him to look up into his eyes. There wasn't anger there, nor was there any sort of frustration or sadness. She could tell that he was just trying to understand, trying to help her.

"What makes you think that?" she asked.

Ron sighed, smiling feebly at her. "You never looked at me the way you look at him. The way I think I'm beginning to realize you've _always_ looked at him."

Hermione's cheeks grew hot and she pulled her hand away from his, turning around. Her eyes were beginning to well up in tears - _again_ - and she didn't want to show it in front of Ron. It would give absolutely everything away.

"I think I've known since the moment you got here. And... over the last two weeks, it's kind of become more and more obvious." Ron continued, placing a gentle hand on Hermione's shoulder. "I mean the way _he_ looks at _her_..."

Hermione stopped breathing. Ron knew. He _knew_.

"Well, I've only seen it in the way you look at her, or the way Bliss looks at Faith. He's her father, isn't he? Harry is Isobel's father."

Hermione didn't answer, merely letting out a short, shallow breath as tears ran from her cheeks. She suddenly felt very dizzy and realized that she was almost hyperventilating. She knew there was no reason to freak out - Ron sounded alarmingly calm about it so far - but there she was, freaking out anyways.

Ron turned her around, his eyebrows raised. "Hey, hey. Calm down, okay?"

He pulled Hermione down gently to the ground, seating them on the sand and wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She leaned into him, allowing him to comfort her as she caught her breath. When she knew she could speak, she pulled back slightly enough to look at him.

"Yes." she whispered.

Ron's eyes widened for a moment before he nodded. "She looks so much like him. I didn't want to believe it at first, but..."

Hermione nodded. She wanted to know how he had figured it out - she needed to know. She needed to know if Ginny knew, too.

"Bliss told me when Isobel's birthday is. I did the math and she would have had to have been conceived around December of '97, am I right?" Ron asked.

Hermione nodded her head again slowly.

"And... and that was after I had left you and Harry in the tent and before I had come back. I know you two were alone that whole time. It couldn't be anybody else's but his. And then I began to watch them interact with each other. There's so much love there, isn't there?" Ron explained.

"She loves him so much." Hermione said, her voice breaking.

"Just like you."

At Ron's words, Hermione completely burst into tears. She buried her face in her hands, only to have Ron pull her closer, allowing her to cry into his chest. She hadn't expected _that_. Was it really that obvious how in love with Harry she was?

"It hurts." he said, when she pulled away enough to look up at him. "Knowing that you two were together then. It really does hurt."

Hermione looked down, shaking her head. "I'm sorry. We were -"

"No, don't. Don't apologize. Just because it hurts doesn't mean that I'm mad." Ron said. "You guys... you created Isobel and she's absolutely amazing. How could I ever be mad about something that made her?"

As Hermione looked at Ron, she realized just how much he had grown up over the last three years. Three years ago, Ron would have yelled. He would have screamed at her. They would have rowed and rowed and rowed until Ron walked away. And then when he came back - if he ever did - they would have fought some more.

"You love him in a better way than you ever loved me. You love him so much that you're willing to stay silent as he marries Ginny." Ron said.

Hermione nodded. "I just want him to be happy."

"It sounds bad because she's my sister and I love her, but... I think you make him happier than she ever has." Ron admitted. "I think I can finally love someone the way you love Harry. I think I..."

Hermione watched as his line of sight trailed over to where Harry, Isobel, Faith and Bliss were on the beach. Harry was playing with the kids in the sand while Bliss watched from her chair, one hand on her stomach. She turned back to Ron, a smile on her lips.

"It's been just a little over two weeks, Ron." she teased.

Ron smiled. "I know, I know. I'm not saying that I'm in love with her. I'm saying... that I could be. I really, _really_ could be."

Hermione's heart warmed. She got up off the ground and helped pull him to his feet, heading back towards their group. He grabbed her hand again, squeezing it tightly.

"I won't tell Ginny, but I really think you need to sooner rather than later." Ron said.

"I know." Hermione answered. "Thank you, Ron."

Ron stopped again, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head. "It's gonna be okay, Hermione. I really mean that."

**. . .**

Harry watched as Ron kissed Hermione's head and held her close in his arms.

He watched as they grabbed hands again and made their way closer to them.

He couldn't deny that he felt a rumble of jealousy in his stomach. He hadn't even _considered_ the fact that Ron and Hermione could happen again when she had returned. But he assumed that it was quite possibly in the realm of possibility. Then again, he also thought that Ron definitely felt something for Bliss.

No matter what it was, the thought of Ron and Hermione - well, _anyone_ and Hermione - made him want to rip out his heart through his throat.

"Daddy, Daddy!" Isobel said.

He looked at Isobel who's smile was lighting up her whole face. She had made another small castle and was pointing at it, as well as a rectangular lump of sand next to it."

"Very nice." he said. "And what's that?"

He pointed to the rectangle and Isobel jumped up and down before leaping into his arms.

"It's the choo-choo!" she exclaimed.

Harry laughed, shaking his head at his daughter. "The train?"

"The choo-choo!" she repeated.

"She won't say train. For the life of me, she just won't say it." Bliss groaned, appearing to have had this conversation many times.

"It's where Daddy met Mummy!" Isobel explained. "And that is the castle! Hogwarts!"

Harry felt his heart melt slightly at her words. She knew about the first time Harry and Hermione had met. She knew.

"I'm gonna go to Hogwarts." she continued with a smile.

"Yes, you are. What house would you like to be in?" he asked.

"Gryffindor! Like Mummy and Daddy!" she said happily, clapping her hands together.

Harry grinned, looking up at Bliss who was watching them with a small smile on her lips.

"That's my girl." he whispered, kissing her forehead.

When Hermione and Ron reached them, they had already dropped each other's hands. He noticed immediately that Hermione's eyes were red and watery, giving away that she had been crying. He stood up, bringing Isobel with him, and made his way to her.

"Mummy sad?" Isobel asked, before Harry even had a chance.

Hermione smiled and Harry passed Isobel into her arms. She locked eyes with Harry, who instantly felt the same intensity he always had, as well as something more. He thought about last night when he had been so incredibly desperate to kiss her. He stepped closer as Isobel snuggled into Hermione's arms. Harry placed his hand on the small of Hermione's back and leaned in, kissing her forehead.

"Mummy's just fine, baby girl. I'm just fine." Hermione whispered staring at Harry.

"Isobel, come help me, Faith and Aunt Bliss make dinner, okay? We're gonna let your parents talk." Ron called out.

_Parents_.

Harry could only focus on that word. He looked at Ron, his eyes wide. Ron was still looking at Isobel, completely avoiding his gaze. Isobel squirmed from out of Hermione's arms and ran towards Ron who grabbed her little hand, as well as Faith's, and headed back up to the beach house with Bliss trailing behind them.

Parents.

Ron _knew_. He knew that he was Isobel's father. Had Hermione told him? Was that what their walk had been about?

Once the four were far enough away to not hear them, he turned to Hermione who was already shaking her head.

"No, I didn't tell him." she sighed, as if reading his mind. "He figured it out. I only told him he was right."

Harry shook his head in disbelief. "And he's... he's being okay about it?"

"Yeah. Yeah, he is." Hermione said.

She then went onto explain Ron's feelings to her. Harry knew that he would have to have his own conversation with him - he knew that Ron would probably let out more of his hurt on Harry, and Harry knew that he deserved that, having fully known just how much Ron had felt for Hermione when the two had slept together.

"He's not going to tell Ginny. He just thinks that we should soon." Hermione said.

As she said Ginny's name, she looked away from Harry and crossed her arms over her chest, almost as if to hold herself together. Harry placed a hand on her shoulder and sighed. She turned her head to look at him, tears in her eyes.

"Let's just... let's go and help with dinner, get Izzy to bed, and then we'll talk. Okay?" Harry said.

Hermione nodded at him. "Okay."

Before Harry could help himself, he was pulling her into a tight hug. She molded against him perfectly, just as she always had. He didn't want to let her go. He never wanted to let her out of his arms. She pulled back, stepped up onto her toes and pressed her lips against his scar.

"Does it ever hurt anymore?" she asked softly.

Harry shook his head. "Never."

Hermione said nothing, simply staring at him as he stared right back, his arms still around her, cradling her softly. She let out a soft sigh and took a step back, grabbing his hand and pulling him along.

"Come on. Dinner." she said.

He decided to take a chance and intertwine their fingers, giving her hand a squeeze. Surprising him, she pulled his hand up to her lips and kissed his knuckles before pulling him towards the house.

Harry's heart was beating wildly in his chest as he walked next to her, holding her hand. He wasn't sure how much longer he could do this - how much longer he could be around her and not do something. Not kiss her. Not tell her just how much he loved and needed her. How his heart had ached for her every moment of every day since she had left. _Before_ that. How after their night in the tent he had thought over every moment between them and realized that he had always thought she was more than amazing. How she was _it_ for him. She was the love of his life.

He just wasn't sure if he was hers.


	11. Always Love

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** thank you to everyone who's been reviewing - they mean everything to me and I promise I read each and every one of them, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Eleven: Always Love**

"Does she always do this?" Ron asked.

Hermione looked up from her spot across the room and smiled. Ron was sitting on the couch, with Bliss curled up in his arms, fast asleep and making tiny snoring sounds.

Hermione chuckled. "Only when she's pregnant, for some reason."

Ron nodded, staring down at her. His arms were wrapped around Bliss, resting them at the top of her belly as she slept.

"Don't worry, by the time you two can actually _sleep_ together, she won't be snoring." Hermione joked.

She laughed louder when Ron's face went red. He smiled down at Bliss, and Hermione could see it in his eyes - the way he felt about her. Hermione knew it was only growing.

"Hermione, they're asking for you."

Hermione looked up to find Harry poking his head around the corner. He had been reading Faith and Isobel a story in their room. Hermione sighed, getting up and making her way back to the girls with Harry. The two were in the same small bed, lying down beside each other with smiles on their faces.

"Are you two having a sleepover party?" Hermione asked, crouching down beside the bed.

"Yes, Mummy!" Isobel said.

"Uncle Harry read us _two_ stories!" Faith said.

Hermione sighed and raised an eyebrow at Harry. "You let them talk you into two stories?"

He blushed and shrugged, Hermione only smiling at him. She turned back to the two girls who were huddled close together, their blonde and dark brown hair laying overtop of one another on the pillow. Isobel was clutching her lion and Faith was holding her stuffed puppy.

"Alright, my loves. Have a good sleep, okay?" Hermione whispered.

She leaned down to kiss Faith's forehead, followed by Isobel's.

"I love you, my girls." Hermione called, standing up and stepping to Harry.

"I love you, Auntie 'Mione." Faith answered.

"I love you, Mummy!" Isobel said. "I love you, too, Daddy!"

Hermione's heart warmed up instantly at Isobel's words. She looked at Harry who was appearing stunned. She knew that that was the first time Isobel had told Harry she loved him. She reached over and grabbed his hand, squeezing it softly.

"I... I love you, too, monkey." he whispered, his voice almost breaking.

The two parents left the room, turning off the light and closing the door. When they were a few feet away, Hermione paused to look at Harry. His eyes were wide as he stared at her.

"She loves me." he whispered.

Hermione stepped closer and touched his cheek - she couldn't stop herself. "Of course she does. You're her father."

Harry's eyes told her that he needed to talk. She grabbed his hand, pulling him into the living room.

"Ron, I think you've got getting Bliss to bed covered, yeah?" Hermione asked with a small smile.

"Yeah, sure." he said, looking up from Bliss at them.

"Stay in there with her tonight. I think she'd like it." Hermione said. "Me and Harry will be in my room."

Ron raised his eyebrows, almost in warning. She knew that he was thinking about Ginny. Hermione immediately shook her head.

"We've got _a lot_ to talk about, as I'm sure you can imagine." Hermione explained.

Ron's expression instantly became softer as he nodded at her. Hermione dropped Harry's hand and walked over to the two, kissing Bliss and Ron's forehead.

"Goodnight." Hermione called, heading back to Harry.

"Night." Ron answered.

The two made their way to the bedroom Hermione had claimed, shutting the door behind them. This was it. They finally had to talk - they finally had to make a plan. Decide how they were going to go about things with Isobel.

Hermione sat down on the bed, Harry sitting down next to her. She looked at him - she didn't know how to start this.

"We have to tell her." Harry said slowly.

Hermione nodded. "Yeah. We can't put it off any longer."

"Maybe she's figured it out."

Hermione let out a bitter laugh. If Ginny had figured it out, Hermione really didn't know if that was better or worse. She looked back up at Harry, finding him staring at her intensely.

"What, Harry?" she asked with a sigh.

Harry pressed his lips together, shaking his head. She could tell by his eyes it was something serious. She sighed, allowing herself to reach out and grab his hand, interlacing their fingers together.

"Harry." she said softly.

When he didn't say anything, Hermione dropped his hand. She stood up, pacing in front of him along the floor. She knew that she couldn't push him to say anything. He would shut down if she did, and she didn't want that.

"What do you reckon we do? Do you tell her? Do I? Do we both tell her together?" Hermione wondered aloud.

She looked back at Harry who was just shaking his head. She sighed - they needed to do it. They couldn't put it off any longer. It wasn't fair to anyone, especially Ginny. But most of all, it wasn't fair to Isobel. She hated the fact that she had to tell Isobel to keep her own _father_ a secret from everyone.

"When we get back... we need to." Hermione whispered.

Harry nodded slowly. "I know."

"I don't know what this is going to do to your wedding, Harry. You need to be ready for that." Hermione said.

She watched Harry deflate slightly at the mention of the wedding. Hermione groaned - she was almost sick of his attitude towards his own wedding. Why did he always seem as if he was dreading it?

"You and Ginny haven't fixed your row yet, have you?" Hermione asked.

"No." Harry said shortly.

"It's been two weeks, Harry."

Suddenly, Harry was on his feet, stepping closer to her. She could see the anger in his eyes, knowing that she had hit a nerve.

"I know that, Hermione! She hasn't brought it up and I couldn't do it!" Harry shouted.

Hermione took a step back. "Why not?"

"Because I've been too damn preoccupied with the fact that you've been avoiding me for the last two weeks, alright?" Harry admitted.

Hermione knew this was getting escalated. She cast _Muffliato_ in the direction of the door, in order to avoid waking up the girls and Bliss. She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head at Harry. She hadn't been meaning to avoid him - she had just needed to distance herself. She needed to get it into her head that Ginny and him were getting married. She couldn't hurt Ginny any further than she already was.

"I was doing it for Ginny, okay?" Hermione explained. "She was so upset, Harry. She was crying her eyes out in her _wedding dress_ - and they weren't happy tears."

Harry noticeably winced, running a hand through his hair. She didn't know what to say to him, not at all.

**. . .**

Harry hated this.

Hermione was telling him just how much pain Ginny was in when Harry already knew. He already knew that it wasn't fair to Ginny - that none of this was fair to her. If he had been man enough, he wouldn't have come crawling back to her when Hermione had left. He would have gone after Hermione. He would have fought for her instead of crawling inside himself and succumbing to his misery, letting Ginny get involved deeper and deeper in him. And he most certainly would _never_ have proposed.

Hermione's eyes were shining with tears, and he could see her anger. Her fists were balled up at the sides as she paced back and forth in front of him. All he wanted to do was hold her, kiss her and tell her that he was in love with her and only her and that everything was going to be alright.

But did Harry himself even believe that everything was going to be okay?

He wasn't sure most of the time - but when he looked into Hermione's eyes, or when he looked into their daughter's, he knew that it was.

"Harry, do you even want to marry her?" Hermione asked, the sadness leaking into her voice.

"No!" Harry shouted.

He watched Hermione's eyes widen as he felt his own do the same. He hadn't meant to say that out loud, but he was realizing that he couldn't hold it in anymore.

He couldn't hold any of it in.

"No. No, I don't want to marry her. I don't want to marry Ginny. I want to marry _you_, Hermione." Harry said, the words tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. "The only person I've ever wanted to marry - to just _be_ with - is you. It's always fucking been you."

Hermione's face paled and she backed up from him until she was pressed up against the door. She was shaking her head and Harry's heart practically fell out of his chest. He could see the tears leaking from her eyes.

Had he just made the biggest mistake of his life?

"Harry..." she whispered hoarsely. "Do you mean that?"

It was all Harry could do not to scream. "Of course I do! I told you I was in love with you before I went into the forest, and you said it right back. I thought..."

He trailed off, his voice breaking. He wasn't sure how to do this - how to admit all of his feelings. He was so used to shutting himself down, to not revealing the truth. Hermione nodded at him and he took a step towards her. He knew that he couldn't stop now, this was his one chance.

"I thought that you meant it. I'd never meant anything more than when I said those words, Hermione. And then you... and then you left." Harry said, his voice low and breaking with every word.

Hermione took in a gasping breath, wiping her tears from her cheeks. Harry knew he was crying, too. He took another step towards her, staring down into her eyes. She was avoiding his gaze, staring at the floor.

"Look at me, 'Mione." Harry whispered. "Please."

Her eyes snapped up in alarm. Immediately he realized his slip-up - calling her _'Mione_ again. He knew that it meant something to her. It meant something to him. He remembered vividly the first time he had called her that - when they had been together.

But still, she was looking at him now, staring deep into his eyes.

"Of course I meant it, Harry." she whispered, her lip quivering.

"Then why did you leave?" he shouted.

Hermione shook her head, letting out a single sob. The sound broke his heart even further. He took another step towards her, but stopped himself from pulling her into his arms. They had to keep talking.

"Because I saw you with Ginny!" Hermione suddenly shouted. "I saw you with Ginny, alright? I was coming to tell you that I was pregnant and that I wanted to be with you, but Ginny was confessing her love and then you were kissing her and I - I panicked. I was pregnant and hormonal and scared and I ran, alright? I just fucking ran."

Immediately Harry knew what Hermione was talking about. He shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Damn it." he whispered, thinking back.

_"I just - I think I need some time to figure things out." Harry said, his voice hoarse._

_ "So do I, Harry. I'm... I'm a bloody mess! M-m-my brother -" Ginny said, her voice breaking. "R-Remus - Tonks - everyone - I can't... I can't do this alone. I need you, Harry. I need you more than ever, and I've never told you I need you before. I've never told anyone I need them before, but I need you."_

_ Harry lifted his glasses atop his head to wipe his eyes. He hated this. It was painful, knowing that Ginny was in his much pain - he didn't want to hurt her any further. Even though he knew that he was about to._

_ "Ginny, I'm here for you. Of course I'm here for you. You know that." he whispered, pulling her into a hug._

_ "I love you, Harry. I love you so much." Ginny whispered._

_ Suddenly, Ginny pulled back and smashed her lips against hers. Harry stumbled backwards slightly with the force of the kiss. Kissing her, he knew that it wasn't right._

_ Hermione._

_ He wanted Hermione._

_ "Ginny... Ginny, stop." Harry sighed, pulling away from her. "I can't do this, okay? I just... I can't."_

_ With that, he stepped away from Ginny, disapparating to Godric's Hollow. He made his way to his parents' grave and sat down, bowing his head and letting out his tears. He hated that he had to hurt Ginny, but he couldn't be with her._

_ Once he gathered control of himself, he would find Hermione and they would be together._

_ He knew it._

Harry looked up at Hermione, who's eyes were wide at his story. She was shaking her head.

"No, no. You were kissing her. You didn't step away." Hermione whispered.

"Hermione, yes I did. I stepped away, told her I couldn't and then I made the decision to find _you_. Everything was so hectic for those weeks that I hadn't had a single moment alone with you but I figured that was okay because... because you weren't going to go anywhere. Because I thought that you had meant it, too." Harry explained.

**. . .**

Hermione couldn't believe it.

She could feel herself starting to hyperventilate again.

If she had waited for two seconds - _two seconds - _she would have seen Harry push Ginny away. She wouldn't have left. Her and Harry would have been together all these years.

Isobel would have had her father.

"B-b-but you went back to her. You did. You went back to her." Hermione whispered, breathless.

"I went after _you_. I found your room completely empty and then Fleur comes to me and tells me that you've _left_." Harry explained, his voice shattering. "Then a month later, I'm drunk out of my mind at a pub and the next morning I wake up in bed next to Ginny and she's telling me how much she loves me again and I was too afraid to be alone anymore."

Hermione put her hand over her mouth, shaking her head. She couldn't believe this. She was cursing herself over and over and over again in her head. How could she have reacted so irrationally back then? Why hadn't she waited?

Everything could have been different - _so_ different.

Isobel...

She would have had Harry in her life.

"Hey, stop." Harry whispered, his voice suddenly much gentler. "Stop."

She suddenly realized that she was cursing out loud, hitting the back of her head against the door. She let out another cry and took a deep breath, looking back up into his familiar eyes.

"You wanted me back then?" she whispered.

Harry nodded slowly. "Of course I did. I wanted you then and I want you now."

Hermione felt all the breath escape her chest as Harry stepped towards her. She couldn't look away from his eyes, feeling the same intense connection that she always had felt with Harry. She knew that they were getting into _very_ dangerous territory - whether he wanted to be or not, Harry was still engaged.

Except, Hermione couldn't focus on that right now.

All she wanted to do was kiss him.

Suddenly, his hands were on her waist, pushing her back gently against the wall. She felt him lean in and her heart began pounding wildly. She had been dreaming about this for so long, and yet she hadn't been sure it would ever happen. She had planned on standing aside while he married Ginny.

But now he was leaning in, closer and closer. Hermione closed her eyes just before their lips touched. When they did, Hermione immediately felt the familiar fireworks she had felt the first time they had kissed. She wound her arms around his neck as he pressed himself against her, pushing her as close to the door as she could go. She felt his tongue press against her lips, demanding access to her mouth. She let out a sigh, pressing herself even closer to him.

**. . .**

He hadn't been able to stop himself any longer.

As he kissed Hermione, he knew that she was the only one he ever wanted to kiss ever again. He brought a hand up from her waist to gently cup her cheek, cradling her face. He heard her sigh, and he couldn't help himself from smiling into the kiss. It was familiar, a kind of familiar that he had longed for since she had left. It was exhilarating.

They both pulled away at the exact same moment, needing air. He stared down into her eyes, breathing hard. He could see it - he could see the love in her eyes.

He wanted to be with her. He _knew_ they were meant for one another.

"I love you." she whispered tearfully. "I love you, and I've never stopped."

Harry's heart swelled immensely, mending the broken pieces Hermione's departure had made. He pressed his forehead against hers and let his lips fall into a small smile.

"I love you." he whispered back.

"Harry, what about-what about Ginny?" she asked tearfully.

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, thinking about his fiancée. She truly deserved _so_ much better than him. She deserved someone who loved her deeply and truly - the way he loved Hermione. She deserved someone who treated her well, and showed their love for her every single day.

"I love her, but not the way I love you. Not in the way I've ever loved you." Harry told Hermione.

She nodded in understanding - he knew it was similar to the way Hermione loved Ron.

"We need to be fair to her, Harry." she whispered.

Harry nodded, knowing she was right. More than anything, he wanted to take Hermione into bed and kiss every inch of her. He wanted to make up for all of their lost time.

But he knew that he couldn't do it - kissing Hermione was already bad enough, but if they did anything more...

Ginny didn't deserve that and Harry knew that both him and Hermione realized that.

"Will you sleep in here with me tonight?" Hermione asked. "Just sleeping. I just... I don't want to be away from you anymore."

Harry immediately pulled her into his arms, hugging her tight. She buried her face into his chest, and he began to pet her hair in the familiar way. He pressed his lips against the top of her head before pulling back and cupping her face with his hands.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." he whispered.

**. . .**

The two crawled into bed and Hermione rested her head on Harry's chest as he wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close against him.

She was exhausted, physically and emotionally.

But she was also wide awake.

Harry loved her. He loved her just as much as she loved him. They still had so much to figure out and Hermione knew that but...

She knew that they had each other. They loved each other in the purest and greatest of ways that she knew she would never experience from anybody else.

"I should have come after you." Harry said after a few comfortably silent minutes.

Hermione closed her eyes for a moment before looking up at him. During the first few months in Australia before Isobel had been born, Hermione had let herself imagine what would happen if Harry showed up at her door, declaring his love for her. Hermione had felt foolish every time she thought of it, but she hadn't been able to stop herself. Once Isobel had been born, Hermione stopped imaging. She knew she couldn't let it go on forever.

"Why didn't you?" she whispered.

"Because I was scared. I was scared and broken and... I didn't think I could have handled it if you sent me away." he admitted.

Hermione turned on her side to fully look at him, shaking her head as more tears pooled in her eyes.

"Harry... I never would have done that." she whispered, gently touching his cheek.

Harry was silent, just staring at her for a moment before he leaned closer and kissed her again. It was quick, yet incredibly deep. Hermione swear she felt every kiss with Harry in her soul.

"Apart from Isobel, I love you more than anything in the world." Harry whispered. "I'm not letting you go again."

Hermione nodded. "I'm not going anywhere. Not without you."

Hermione rested her head back against his chest, letting him hold her close again. She closed her eyes, finally allowing herself to relax. She had no idea what was going to happen, but she did know that Harry was with her.

She could feel the meaning behind his words, just as she knew he could feel the meaning behind hers.

She kissed his chest, settling herself in comfortably for the night with the man she loved.


	12. New Beginnings

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** thanks to everyone who's been reviewing and keeping up with the story, your support means everything to me. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Twelve: New Beginnings**

The next morning, Harry swore that he must have dreamt everything.

But when he woke up to Hermione's head still resting on his chest, he felt himself almost explode with the happiness that it had been real. He felt her stir on his chest and he tightened his arms around her, never wanting to let her go. He didn't want to get up, he didn't want to face anything. He wanted to stay comfortable with Hermione forever.

"Morning, Harry." Hermione whispered.

He looked down at her, finding a feeble smile on her face. He smoothed the hair back on her forehead and kissed it, letting his lips linger.

"Morning, 'Mione." he whispered back.

Hermione sat up, Harry following with her, wrapping his arm around her shoulder and pulling her close. Now that he had held her in her arms again, he never wanted to let go.

"Sleep okay?" she asked.

Harry nodded, knowing that he had had the best sleep in years. "Yeah. You?"

"Yeah."

Hermione pulled back from him, and he stared into her eyes, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He felt a purr inside his chest that he knew he would forever get when looking at Hermione.

"This is it, isn't it?" Hermione whispered.

Harry nodded, leaning in and pressing his lips to her forehead once more. "This is it."

"The start."

"The start."

Hermione smiled at him again and got out of bed, holding out her hand to help him up.

"Come on. I'll show you how to make Isobel's favourite pancakes." she said.

Immediately, Harry grabbed her hand and got out of bed. He couldn't wait to see Isobel. The thought of seeing his daughter filled him with the most excitement he could have possibly ever imagined. He wanted to know every single thing about her. He didn't want to miss another moment.

Hermione turned to open the door, but he pulled her back to him.

"What?" she asked, her lips turning up in a smile.

He pulled her close, pressing their lips together and kissing her deeply, gently cupping her face with his hand.

"I love you, 'Mione." he whispered.

She pressed her forehead against his. "I love you, too, Harry."

She turned around, beginning to head out the door. Harry grabbed her hand and followed suit. She looked down at their intertwined hands, and then back up at him with questioning eyes. He just shrugged and smiled feebly at her - he didn't want to let go.

"Mummy! Daddy!"

Harry looked up just as Isobel jumped off the couch and bounced over to them. Hermione dropped Harry's hand and lifted Isobel up into her arms.

"Hello, my darling. Sleep well?" she asked, kissing her forehead.

"Yes, yes! You and Daddy slept late." Isobel said.

Harry couldn't help but grin at her, leaning over and kissing the top of her head. Isobel reached out to him and Hermione passed her over into his arms.

"Daddy, Uncle Ron told me he knows you're my Daddy so it's okay that I call you Daddy." Isobel explained excitedly.

Harry smiled again at her, nodding. He hated that she couldn't call him her father whenever she wanted to. He took a deep breath and looked at her - he couldn't let her hide anymore. It wasn't fair to her or Hermione.

"It's always okay for you to call me Daddy, okay?" he said. "Once we get home from the beach, it's not going to be a secret."

Harry knew he had never seen Isobel smile so widely. She wrapped her small arms around him and hugged him as tight as she could. He looked over at Hermione, who was staring at him already, her eyes wide. He reached out an arm and wrapped it around her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing her temple.

"Smile."

Harry looked up to find Bliss taking a picture of them and smiled, realizing that it was the first of many family pictures they would take over the years. Bliss lowered the camera and gave them a thumbs up.

"Beautiful. Thank you very much." Bliss said.

Suddenly Faith ran into the room with Ron following behind her, a soft smile on his face. He watched Bliss' face light up immediately as he came into the room and couldn't help but smirk.

And then a sinking feeling came over Harry - he knew that he was going to have to talk to Ron today. He was going to have to deal with the fact that he had never told Ron about him and Hermione in the tent - definitely a conversation he was _not_ looking forward to.

But then he heard Isobel and Hermione laugh with each other in his arms and knew that it was worth it. Anything would be worth it to be with his family.

**. . .**

Hermione watched as Ron scooped Faith up off the ground, walking over to Bliss and standing with one hand on the small of her back. Hermione couldn't help but smile and raise her eyebrows at them, wondering if something had happened when they had gone to bed.

She looked at Harry, who still had his arm around her shoulder with Isobel in between them. She knew that Harry was being honest with her and Isobel - he really was going to tell Ginny. Isobel wouldn't have to keep the secret any longer. None of them would.

Hermione couldn't deny that she was nervous, however. She was absolutely petrified that something was going to go wrong and screw up everything that had just finally begun to right itself.

"Mummy, can we go to the beach again?" Isobel asked.

Hermione sighed, catching eyes with Bliss who was already shaking her head tiredly.

"Yes, love." Hermione said. "Go sit in the kitchen and I'll fix you some breakfast, okay?"

"Auntie 'Mione, it's lunchtime." Faith shouted.

Hermione blushed, looking at Harry. They really had overslept. Hermione had been way too comfortable to get up, sleeping in Harry's arms.

"Right. Lunch then." Hermione sighed. "You too, Faith. I'll be along in a minute."

Harry and Ron placed both the girls down and they hurried off into the kitchen. Hermione turned back to look at Ron and Bliss, finding both of them staring at them with wondering eyes - Ron's slightly more harsh than Bliss'.

"Ron." Harry said, slipping his arm off of Hermione's shoulder and grabbing her hand. "Can we talk?"

Ron looked down at the ground and Hermione watched as Bliss took his hand, pulling it up to her lips and kissing it gently, forcing him to look up at her.

"Please, Ron." Harry said. "You can't avoid me forever."

Ron was still staring at Bliss with almost the same expression Hermione knew he used to look at her with - except it was different. It was stronger - Hermione could see it in his eyes.

"Bliss, Harry?" Hermione whispered. "Can you two give me and Ron a minute?"

Bliss pulled her eyes away from Ron's and nodded at her. She turned to look at Harry, immediately having to refrain herself from kissing him. He stared at her, touching her cheek softly with his fingertips.

"Bliss'll show you how to start the pancakes, okay? The girls won't mind them for lunch." Hermione whispered.

Harry nodded, leaning closer and kissing Hermione's forehead before walking away with Bliss. Once they were gone, Hermione took a few steps towards Ron, wondering if he was now mad at her, after having a night to absorb everything.

"Ron." she called out.

He looked up at her, shaking his head. "I really don't want to talk to him, Hermione."

She sighed. "Ron, but you're talking to _me_. How is that any different?"

"Because!" Ron shouted, exasperated. "Because you've been gone and he's been _here_, not mentioning it to me everyday that I saw him. I know he didn't know about Isobel, but he _did_ know that you two had slept together. He did know that he had feelings for you, and he didn't say anything."

Hermione understood exactly where Ron was coming from and knew just how hurt he was. She reached forward and grabbed his hand.

"I'm so sorry, Ron." she whispered.

"Don't be." he sighed. "You two've got Isobel and she's absolutely perfect."

Hermione nodded, smiling slightly at him. "Just please talk to him, okay?"

"Have you two worked everything out, then?" Ron asked.

Hermione sighed, thinking over the night. She knew that they still had a long way to go, with Ginny only being the first battle.

"Not everything. But... it's a start." she admitted.

"Did you two..." he started, clearing his throat. "You know... shag?"

If Ron hadn't clearly been hurting, Hermione would have laughed at the awkwardness in his voice. She squeezed his hand, shaking her head.

"No. I wouldn't do that to Ginny, Ron. Neither would he." she explained.

"He's not going to marry her." Ron said.

Hermione paled, not wanting to answer. She stayed silent and looked at her feet.

"I think I've known that from the moment you got home, really. He never should've asked her to marry him. That was a big mistake on his part." Ron sighed.

Hermione nodded slowly. "Yeah. I wish... I wish that this didn't have to hurt her - or you - or anyone."

Ron touched her chin, lifting it up to force her to look at him. He had a small smile on his lips, his anger seemingly evaporated.

"There's nothing you can do about that, okay? It's the way life works - people get hurt. Especially the people we love, it seems." Ron said.

"I just want to do what's best for Isobel." Hermione explained.

"I think that's what you've been doing all along." he said. "And I think that you and Harry together are what's best for her. If you two love each other... then you _should_ be together."

Hermione let out a deep breath and stepped on her tiptoes to kiss Ron on the cheek.

"Thank you, Ron." she whispered. "Thank you."

Ron sighed and smiled feebly at her. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it, looking up at him.

"Now, will you please talk to Harry?" she asked.

"Hermione..." he groaned.

"You can't cut him out forever. Not when you're a big part of Isobel's life already." Hermione said.

Ron stopped at her words, a strange smile on his face. "I am?"

"Of course you are. She already calls you _Uncle Ron_. She's not going to let you go easily, and I don't want her to have to." Hermione explained.

Ron stayed silent for a moment and Hermione let him, allowing him time to think everything over. Eventually, he nodded slowly and Hermione pulled him into a hug, hugging him tighter than she had in years.

"Hear him out, alright?" she asked.

"Yeah, yeah." he muttered.

Hermione grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the kitchen to join everyone else.

**. . .**

"This is it."

Harry looked away from Isobel and Faith who were splashing each other in the shallow depths of the water to find Ron now standing next to him.

"Sorry?" he said.

He looked back at the water, Hermione nodding at him encouragingly as she lifted both Isobel and Faith up in the waves.

"This is it. This is your chance to talk to me." Ron said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Harry took a deep breath and nodded as Ron began walking down the beach. Harry sped up his steps to catch up with him, realizing that he was far more nervous than he had originally anticipated.

"Ron, I -" he started.

"How could you have not told me?" Ron suddenly shouted. "Or, wait - how could you have _shagged_ Hermione in the first place? You _knew_ how I felt about her, Harry!"

"I was mad at you!" Harry shouted back. "You'd just _left_, Ron. You actually _left_ us and we were lonely and broken and I didn't care about what you thought because I was mad at you and Hermione..."

Harry trailed off, shrugging his shoulders and realizing that he was breathing hard.

"Hermione was there and she was beautiful and we both needed comfort." Harry mumbled, shrugging again.

"You let me pine for her for _years_ when she left. You didn't say anything at all." Ron said, shaking his head.

"What was I supposed to say?" Harry asked. "Just - _Oh Ron, by the way I slept with Hermione in the tent and am incredibly in love with her, don't tell your sister!_"

Ron narrowed his eyes at Harry and he felt his cheeks flame.

"You fucked this up really bad, mate." Ron sighed. "Ginny's gonna have a rough time getting over this."

Harry cringed at the thought of hurting Ginny. He _hated_ that this was going to destroy her, but he knew there was absolutely no way around it.

"I know." Harry said. "I... I thought that if me and Ginny were together and I pretended to be happy, eventually I would be happy."

Ron raised his eyebrows at him. "I don't think you ever really pretended."

"No, I didn't." Harry said. "I couldn't. Every time I closed my eyes, I saw her."

"Hermione?" Ron asked.

Harry nodded. "Yeah. I quickly realized that I'd always been in love with her and that I just passed it off as friendship. But after the night in the tent... I knew that I couldn't pretend anymore."

Ron let out a deep sigh, nodding his head. "You're in love with her."

"And I always will be." Harry said. "I told her before I went into the forest with Voldemort. I couldn't die without her knowing."

"Wow." Ron said. "That's intense."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

The two of them continued walking in silence, Harry thinking about the conversation he knew he was going to have to have with Ginny as soon as possible - meaning most likely tomorrow. He knew it was going to go terribly. It would have been bad enough if he had just had a kid with Hermione, but the fact that he was in love with her? That would destroy Ginny.

But there wasn't a way around it.

He thought about the fight with Ginny, and how she had mentioned his feelings towards Hermione, and how she had noticed them. She had never elaborated on it - but maybe that meant that it wouldn't come as a shock to her. Apparently it wasn't coming as a shock to anyone else.

"Congratulations, mate." Ron said suddenly, stopping and standing in front of him.

"What?" Harry asked.

"On Isobel." Ron said with a smile. "You're a father."

Harry grinned uncontrollably and shook Ron's outstretched hand. "Yeah, I am. Thank you."

"She's bloody brilliant, she is." Ron said, smiling back at him. "Once she's in school, I swear she's going to give Hermione's grades a run for their money."

Harry let out a genuine laugh, nodding. "Hopefully she won't have my knack for getting in trouble."

"Oh, I think I can already see it in her."

"Yeah, me too."

And then Ron hugged him, clapping him on the back and Harry felt himself relax ever-so slightly.

"Be good to Hermione, mate." Ron sighed. "I don't think I need to tell you that, but... just be good to her."

Harry nodded as they pulled away. "I wouldn't have it any other way. You know that."

"She loves you more than I've ever seen her love anything. You two are good for each other. You'll help each other get rid of the darkness."

And Harry knew that Ron was right. With Hermione, the darkness held a light. Sure, it was distant and Harry knew that it wouldn't be easy to get there, but he felt the pieces in his life beginning to finally fall together.

And that gave him a kind of hope he had never known.


	13. I Blame Myself

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** thank you so much for following my story! if you're a Dramione fan, check out my other stories! it'd mean the world to me - just like your reviews! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Thirteen: I Blame Myself**

"But I don't wanna leave the beach!"

Hermione sighed, finishing the plait in Isobel's hair and looking up at Faith's pouting face. Isobel bounced to her feet and joined Faith, beginning to pout as well.

They were only moments away from returning to Harry and Ginny's flat and the girls were not looking forward to it.

"Faith, we'll come back to the beach, okay?" Bliss sighed. "Grandma and Grandpa spend a lot of time here, and we'll come visit them, okay?"

"Mummy, how long are we staying here for?" Faith asked. "In England?"

Bliss caught Hermione's eye for a moment, before running her eyes over to Ron, who was seated on one side of Hermione, while Harry sat on the other.

"I... I'm not sure, darling. I'm not sure." Bliss said.

"Mummy, are we staying here?" Isobel asked. "Or is Daddy coming back home with us?"

Hermione's face blushed ever so slightly as she turned her head to look at Harry. He was staring at Isobel with wide eyes, his grip tightening on Hermione's hand. The two of them hadn't even talked about what they were going to do with living arrangements yet. Hermione didn't have any plans to go back to Australia - but then again, she didn't have any plans to _stay_ either.

All she knew was that she wasn't running.

And all her energy was currently focused on the discussion they were due to have with Ginny once they returned.

"I don't know, love." Hermione sighed. "I don't know."

"But Daddy, you'll be with us, right?" Isobel asked.

Hermione looked back at Harry, who was now smiling softly. He squeezed Hermione's hand again before leaning forward and scooping Isobel up onto his lap.

"I'm not going anywhere, Izzy." he whispered. "I promise."

Isobel reached forward and grabbed Hermione's hand, and she let herself relax into Harry's side as Isobel spread out on both of them.

"Mummy?" Isobel asked.

"Yes, darling?" Hermione said.

Isobel leaned in close to Hermione, whispering in her ear. "I wanna stay here with you and Daddy."

Hermione smiled, leaning back and kissing Isobel's forehead. "Okay, Isobel. I'll remember that."

"Girls, did you get all of your toys?" Bliss asked.

Both Faith and Isobel smiled guiltily in the way Hermione knew they did when they weren't listening to either one of them. Hermione sighed, setting Isobel back on the ground.

"Go on. You don't want to leave anything behind, do you?" Hermione said.

The two girls ran quickly out of the room, leaving the four adults behind. Hermione could feel the knots in her stomach - she was incredibly nervous. Harry's arm tightened around her and she turned her head to look at him.

"Are you ready for this?" she whispered to him.

Harry nodded slowly. "As ready as I can be."

Hermione felt Ron get up from next to her and make his way over to Bliss who was already standing, one hand on her stomach. He placed his hand on Bliss' shoulder and Hermione watched as she looked up at him with widened eyes, in a way Hermione had never seen her look at anyone.

"Ron and I were thinking that we would head over to his place with Faith for a bit to give you lot some privacy. Would you like us to bring Isobel?" Bliss asked.

Hermione nodded immediately. "Please, yes. I don't want her hearing any of this."

"Thank you." Harry said.

Harry stood up, pulling Hermione to her feet with him. He intertwined their fingers and pulled her hand to his lips, kissing it gently.

"I'm sorry that you have to go through this." Hermione whispered, staring up at him. "I really am."

Harry's eyes looked slightly pained, but he merely shook his head. "It's not anyone's fault, okay? You don't have to be sorry. This is the right thing to do. You and Isobel deserve everything."

He pulled her close and Hermione wrapped her arms around his waist, resting her head against his chest as he began to pet her hair.

"You two deserve the world, and I want to give it to you." he whispered.

Hermione suddenly heard sniffling and she looked up to find Ron and Bliss staring at them, Bliss with tears running down her cheeks.

"What's wrong?" Hermione asked.

Bliss shook her head quickly and Hermione instantly realized what was happening. She looked at Ron who appeared slightly bewildered, as did Harry. She walked over to Bliss and pulled her into her arms, hugging her as tight as she could with the barrier that was her stomach.

"Hormones?" Hermione sighed.

"Yes!" Bliss blubbered, as they pulled away. "You two... I just can't believe it."

"What do you mean?" Hermione asked.

Bliss gestured between Hermione and Harry. "I've heard you talk about him since the moment I met you and-and-and now you're actually _together_ talking about Isobel and clearly in love and -"

Bliss stopped speaking as she let out a loud cry, burying her head in her hands. Hermione let out a laugh and wrapped an arm around Bliss' shoulders.

"Well, thank you for sticking around through the endless hours of me moping over this whole situation." Hermione joked lightly.

"Endless. They were endless." Bliss sighed, teasing her right back.

Hermione sighed, letting Bliss lean into her. She thought back to Bliss' first pregnancy with Faith and how hormonal she had been from the moment the two had met. She was almost constantly crying over pretty much nothing.

"I don't understand, why are you crying?" Ron asked, the concern in his voice evident.

"She gets like this when she's pregnant - especially at the end. Outrageously hormonal. It's hard to stop the tears." Hermione explained.

"Yeah, well you're worse!" Bliss said with a watery smile. "I mean it, next time you're pregnant, well... good luck Harry."

Hermione's face grew hot as her eyes flickered over to Harry. The two hadn't even discussed where to go from here after their conversation with Ginny, let alone if they wanted more _kids_ - which Hermione already knew that she did.

Surprisingly, Harry looked as calm as ever, his eyes slightly widened as he stared at her.

"Sounds like I'll need it." he said.

Hermione dropped her grip around Bliss and walked back over to Harry, grabbing both of his hands and squeezing them tight.

"You ready?" he whispered.

Hermione nodded slowly. They couldn't waste anymore time. They needed to make things right - with everyone. They couldn't hide the truth any longer. Faith and Isobel skipped back into the room, Isobel heading for Harry as Faith headed to Ron.

"Why don't we take her now?" Bliss offered kindly, wiping away the last of her tears.

Hermione nodded graciously and turned back to look at Isobel in Harry's arms. She leaned forward and kissed her daughter's forehead before smoothing back her dark hair.

"Darling, you're going to go to Uncle Ron's house for a bit, alright?" Hermione said. "Auntie Bliss and Faith are going with you."

"Where are you going Mummy?" Isobel asked pouting slightly.

"Mummy and Daddy have some grownup things to do. Is that okay?" Hermione continued.

Isobel nodded and wrapped her small arms around Harry, hugging him tight before doing the same to Hermione. Hermione took her into her arms and held her close before placing her down on the ground and crouching down in front of her.

"I'll see you in a bit, okay?" Hermione said, kissing her forehead again.

"Okay, Mummy." Isobel said. "Bye, Daddy!"

"Bye, monkey." Harry said softly.

Isobel skipped over to Bliss who took her hand and led her to the Floo. The four of them stepped in and within a moment were gone, leaving just Harry and Hermione. Hermione turned to look at him and took a deep breath, he was staring at her with widened eyes.

"What?" she asked with a small smile.

"I just..." he whispered. "Thank you for coming home."

Hermione felt her heart melt slightly and she leaned into him, kissing Harry's scar softly. He wrapped his arms around her waist and sighed.

**. . .**

Harry was overcome with emotion as he looked at Hermione. She was staring at him so tenderly, in a way that he knew no one else ever had, and ever would. All he wanted to do was kiss her, except they had both agreed not to kiss anymore until after they had spoken to Ginny - it just wasn't fair to her.

"Come on." Hermione whispered.

He slid his hands off her waist and intertwined his fingers with hers, letting her apparate them back to his and Ginny's flat. When the sensation was over and he opened his eyes and nearly fell over at the sight before him.

"Oh my god." Hermione gasped.

He looked around the living room, taking in the sight. The photographs, Ginny's vases of multiple flowers, glasses and plates... it was all broken.

Everything was smashed.

Harry's armchair was overturned, as well as the coffee table. Their leather couch had a long slash down the center exposing the stuffing. A framed photo of Ginny and Harry not only had the frame smashed, but Ginny's face was scribbled out.

Harry's photographs of him and Hermione from their days at Hogwarts were all over the floor.

"Harry..." Hermione whispered.

Harry didn't know what to do. His first instinct was that there had been an intruder. But, then again he also knew how strong the wards around the flat were. It would have taken a long while to break through them.

His next thought almost hurt him to even consider.

That Ginny had done all this.

That she had finally snapped.

He pulled out his wand, just in case, and noticed that Hermione had already done the same. He walked in front of her, heading down the hall to his bedroom, almost afraid of what he would find in there.

He heard Hermione gasp behind him as he opened the door. Their full-length mirror was smashed, as well as their framed photos again. On the bed was the photo album Hermione had put together for him of Isobel. He walked over to it, finding a ripped photo of Isobel and Hermione that caused fury to erupt in his heart.

Next to it was a handwritten note that he immediately recognized as Ginny's writing.

_Fuck you._

_ Don't try and find me._

Harry turned around to look at Hermione who was shaking. Her face was pale and he knew that his was the same.

"Harry..." she whispered again.

He just shook his head, unsure of what exactly to do. He wasn't sure what he had been expecting when Ginny found out, but it certainly hadn't been _this_. He walked closer to the bed, picking up the ripped photo of Hermione and Isobel and staring at it, shaking his head.

He couldn't believe it.

"What has she done?" Harry whispered.

Hermione said nothing, and Harry was glad she didn't. He hadn't been looking for an answer. He just couldn't believe the destruction around him. Ginny had completely snapped. He had expected anger, of course, but he had _not_ expected this. Clearly she had found the photo album of Isobel - but the question was, had she already known?

"What do we do?" he asked, turning around to look at Hermione.

She just shook her head slowly. "I think we need to find her."

"And what happens when we do?" Harry said.

Hermione stepped forward and took the torn photograph out of his hands, peering down at it and shaking her head.

"I don't know." she breathed.

Harry sat down on the bed and put his head in his hands. He didn't know how to handle this - not at _all_. What he did know was that he _really_ wanted a drink. He didn't want to feel the emotions that this whole situation was bringing with it. He didn't want to feel all the pain. He didn't want to _cause_ anyone anymore pain. He just wanted to drink and hide away.

"Harry..." Hermione whispered.

He felt her touch on his shoulder and he looked up to find her crouching down in front of him. She looked just as shaken as he felt, but he knew that she was trying to hide it for his sake. He could see the concern in her eyes that she held purely for him. He wished that he could be stronger for her - for her and for Isobel - but in that moment, he couldn't do it.

And he _hated_ it.

She moved her hand to his cheek and then down to his chin, running her fingers along softly, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it tight, pressing his knuckles to her lips.

"We'll get through this, okay?" she whispered. "We'll find Ginny and... and we'll get through this."

Harry took a deep breath and nodded at her slowly. He knew that she was right, but he couldn't deny that he was still terrified, or the fact that he still wanted to hide.

"Alright, forget about this mess right now. You are going to go and check Ginny's work, and I am going to go check the Burrow and then we'll meet over at Ron's flat, okay?" she said.

Harry nodded slowly again. He was glad that she was taking charge of this. He felt almost paralyzed. He kept thinking of Ginny and how absolutely devastated she must be feeling.

And it was all his fault.

**. . .**

"Stop, Harry. Stop it." Hermione whispered.

He looked at her with confusion in his eyes and she knew that he hadn't even realized he was speaking.

_My fault, my fault, my fault_, he kept saying over and over and over again.

She took both of his hands and squeezed them tight. She didn't like seeing Harry like this, it hurt her more than she could even fathom.

She also couldn't believe that Ginny had trashed their apartment.

Seeing the picture of herself and Isobel ripped to pieces instantly made her want to scoop up Isobel and run away, hiding her from all the pain and past that this place held. Moving to Australia had shielded Isobel from everything that the War had caused, and now they were right back in the middle of it - the middle of all the pain.

But she couldn't run now. She couldn't leave Harry.

"Harry, stop." she whispered again. "It's all okay. It's not your fault. We're going to figure this out, okay? I promise you."

Harry finally stopped muttering and looked at her. She could see the fear and pain in his eyes. She stood up and slid next to him on the bed. She ran her hand along his face, cupping his cheek and moving closer.

"Don't shut down, okay?" she whispered. "Not when we're finally getting somewhere."

Suddenly, Harry pressed his lips to hers. She gasped in surprise at the sudden intensity, but of course kissed him all the same. This kind of kiss felt urgent and rushed, but still just as passionate and full of love as always. He pulled her closely, and as much as Hermione wanted to continue, she knew that she couldn't. Not when Harry was like this.

"Harry..." she whispered between kisses. "Harry, calm down."

He kissed her and kissed her, and she didn't fight him. Eventually, he pulled away, pressing his forehead against hers as he sniffled. She wasn't sure exactly what kind of tears they were, but Hermione knew it didn't really matter. She wrapped her arms around him, pulling him close.

"Breathe, alright?" she said calmly. "It's all going to be okay, I promise."

After a few minutes, he pulled back from her and stared into her eyes. While he still looked incredibly panicked, she could see that he was trying very hard to pull himself together.

"Right. I'll check the office." Harry said, clearing his throat.

Hermione took in a deep breath and nodded. "Yes, and I'll check the Burrow. And we'll meet back at Ron's flat. Hopefully, we'll be able to find her."

But Hermione wasn't holding out a lot of hope at finding Ginny in any of these places. If Ginny didn't want to be found, Hermione knew that she would go somewhere no one was expecting.

And Hermione had _no_ idea where that would be.

Harry stood up, still clutching her hands tightly and pulled her back into another deep kiss. Hermione sighed, letting herself get momentarily lost in the feeling, wishing that they could just fast forward and get to the point where everything could be simple and her, Harry and Isobel could be happy together as they always should have been.

She pulled away and sighed, looking at him. "Harry... I thought we weren't going to... to kiss until we'd spoken to her."

"I know, but... look at what she's done here. If this isn't a sign that things are over on her end, I don't know what is." Harry said, his voice low. "I just... it's hard not to kiss you all the time when I've spent the last three years wanting to."

Hermione pressed her lips together and nodded. She knew that he was fighting the moral dilemma in his head against kissing her, and her bringing it up probably wasn't really helping. So, she pressed her lips quickly against his and then stepped back.

"I'll see you soon, okay?" she said.

He nodded, and within a moment both had apparated away. When Hermione opened her eyes, she was standing just outside the door to the Burrow. Suddenly, she was incredibly nervous.

What if Ginny _was_ there?

Hermione really was not expecting her to be, but on the off chance that she was... what should she do? And what should she do when she saw Mr. and Mrs. Weasley? She hadn't seen them since returning home, and she really didn't know what to say to them - Mrs. Weasley especially. She knew that she must not be her favourite person after breaking her son's heart.

Slowly, she knocked on the front door of the house she had once been so accustomed to spending her times in. She was sure that she couldn't even pinpoint the last time she had been there before she left. She wrung her hands together as she waited for the door to open. A few moments later and it did, revealing a very surprised Mrs. Weasley.

"Hermione!" she gasped. "Oh my goodness, come in!"

Hermione smiled, feeling a piece of her heart warm slightly at the familiar witch. She had spent more time around Mrs. Weasley than around her own mother during most of her Hogwarts years. Hermione stepped into the house and immediately was taken into Mrs. Weasley's arms.

"I heard you were back and I've been waiting for an opportunity to see you." Mrs. Weasley said, taking Hermione's hand and directing her into the living room. "I can't believe I haven't seen you in three years. I swear, I used to see you as much as I did the rest of my children."

Hermione let out a nervous laugh and scanned the house for Ginny, hoping that she would find her sitting quietly in a corner. But, if Ginny were there, Mrs. Weasley's greeting most likely would have been incredibly different.

"I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye." Hermione said, as they sat down on the couch. "And I wouldn't blame you if your opinion of me changed after how much I hurt Ron by leaving."

The older witch's eyes widened at her, as a sad smile creeped across her face. She reached out and grabbed Hermione's hand, holding it tightly.

"My dear, I won't deny that I did say some... rather unkind words about you when you left, but I came to terms with it a long time ago." she began. "You're like a daughter to me, Hermione and nothing can change that. Emotions were so high-strung back then and everything was... unpredictable."

Hermione nodded eagerly. "My emotions were everywhere and I was... I just didn't know how to handle it."

"But what matters is that you're back now. In time for the wedding, yes?" she said.

Immediately, hot guilt flashed through Hermione as she felt her smile falter. She prayed for it to go unnoticed, but knew that it hadn't.

"She's put it together, hasn't she?" Mrs. Weasley asked quietly.

Hermione blinked slowly. "What?"

"Ginny showed me a picture of your daughter a few days after you got back and... well, Hermione..." she started.

Hermione's heart sank, preparing herself to get into it with the woman she had once thought of as a mothering figure.

"Yeah. Yeah, she's put it together." Hermione said.

"She's beautiful, Hermione. Truly, she is." Mrs. Weasley continued. "And when you think it's alright, I would love to meet her."

Hermione nodded immediately. "Of course. I'd like that."

Mrs. Weasley took a deep breath and smiled sadly at her once again before shaking her head.

"Because of this little girl, I find it hard to be angry at you. I love my daughter, Hermione and she loves Harry more than anything. This is going to be hard for her to overcome." she continued.

"We... we were going to tell her today, but when we got to the flat... she'd trashed the place and left a note telling us not to look for her." Hermione explained quickly.

Mrs. Weasley's face paled and she stood up, immediately beginning to pace back and forth.

"We have to find her." Mrs. Weasley said.

Hermione closed her eyes and took a deep breath, nodding. She knew that they had to find her - she was just afraid of what might happen when they did.


	14. A Love Like War

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** sorry for the bit of a wait between updates everyone! I'm just starting my first year of university and getting everything ready had been a little hectic, so - if posts take a little longer than norma, please stick with me! I promise I won't give up on this story. thanks to everyone who's been reading and reviewing, and good luck to everyone heading back to school! love to you all, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Fourteen: A Love Like War**

Harry could not stop pacing.

He walked around and around the living room of Ron's flat as Hermione, Ron and Bliss sat on the couch. Faith and Isobel were both down from a nap, tired out from the weekend at the beach - Harry was thankful for that because he did _not_ want them to hear about Ginny.

Ginny.

She hadn't been at her office - not that Harry had expected her to be in the first place - nor at the Burrow.

"Well, I mean, where else could she be? Where does she usually like to go?" Bliss asked, leaning back on the couch and placing a hand on her stomach.

Harry pressed his lips together. He was too wired with anxiety to speak.

"I dunno. I mean, we could check her counsellor's office and the pubs she likes." Ron offered.

"Did you know she was going to snap like this?" Harry suddenly shouted at Ron.

He watched all three of them jump at the sheer tone of his voice. He knew that he shouldn't shout at Ron - absolutely none of this was his fault. Mainly, Harry just felt the need to shout at someone since he couldn't shout at himself.

"Mate, I had no idea that she -" Ron began.

"Well, maybe you should've paid closer attention!" he shouted.

Suddenly, Hermione was on her feet, stepping in front of Harry and widening her eyes at him. She crossed her arms over her chest and turned around to look back at Bliss and Ron.

"Would you two mind going to check out those spots?" Hermione asked.

There was a certain kind of calmness in Hermione's voice that he almost found unnerving, as it made him realize just how out of control he was truly feeling. He clenched his fists together and tried to calm himself down - he hated that he was exploding like this, especially when he knew that Hermione needed just as much comfort as he did. They were both involved in this.

"I'll handle him." she said softly.

Harry watched as Bliss and Ron got up, Ron grabbing Bliss' hand and holding it tight. Within a few moments, the two had apparated away, leaving just Harry and Hermione. Hermione turned back around to him and placed both hands on his shoulders.

"Harry... don't shout at him." she said softly. "He hasn't done anything."

He opened his mouth to retaliate, but Hermione stopped him, shaking her head again.

"Please don't shout at me. The children are sleeping." she said.

Harry immediately felt weaker. He wasn't exactly sure if he had been about to shout at Hermione - and if he had been, he would have felt horrible.

"I'm sorry." he said, his voice cracking. "I just feel like I should've seen this coming, you know? I feel like... I don't know."

He sat down on the couch, placing his head in his hands. He was just making an even bigger mess of things and he _hated_ it. How was Hermione managing to keep everything under control? He knew that she was just as worried as he was - she just knew how to manage it better.

"Harry... I told you that this isn't your fault." she whispered, sitting down next to him. "Please don't blame yourself. There's nothing we can do now but try to find her and... and then go from there."

Harry looked back up at her and nodded. He forced himself to listen to her, to listen to her calming tone and _feel_ the meaning behind her words. He reached for her, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers.

"I love you." he whispered.

Hermione's face broke into a small smile. "I love you, too."

He pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her shoulder as they leaned back on the couch. She rested her head against his chest and he allowed himself a moment to try and relax, to try and gain some perspective on the situation.

"Our life together is going to start, 'Mione. It's going to start once all this is fixed, I promise you." he whispered.

Hermione looked up at him with widened eyes. "You think so?"

Harry nodded. "I'm not wasting anymore time with you and Isobel. You two are my world, and... and I'm not missing out on anything else. I'm not letting you go again. I want _our_ life together, 'Mione."

Hermione smiled and leaned into kiss him lightly on the lips. "Me too. But we can't pretend that this isn't happening. We have to deal with this, Harry. We have to make it right."

Harry groaned, knowing that she was right.

**. . .**

A few hours later, Bliss and Ron had returned from checking all the places they could think of, unfortunately with no luck. Hermione could see Harry getting more and more anxious by the minute, and she felt it, too. Of course, she knew how to hide it in front of Isobel, whereas Harry did not.

"Mummy, is Daddy okay?" Isobel asked, looking up at Hermione from the spot on her lap.

Hermione looked at Harry from across the room. He was sitting with a drink in hand, and Hermione knew that it was definitely _not_ pumpkin juice. She wished that she could explain to Harry that drinking was _not_ the answer - especially when he was feeling so guilty. It would just make everything worse.

"He'll be alright, love. He's just worried about Auntie Ginny." Hermione whispered.

Isobel cuddled close to her, and Hermione tightened her arms around her small daughter. She looked up at Ron who was sitting next to her with Faith on her lap. Bliss was lying down in the other room, having reached the part of her pregnancy when she was incredibly exhausted.

"Don't worry about him, Izzy, okay?" Ron whispered, leaning close and kissing the top of Isobel's head.

Hermione nodded at Ron in thanks as she watched Isobel smile at him feebly.

"Girls, how about you two draw some pictures for Harry, okay?" Hermione said, catching both Isobel and Faith's attention. "I think your Daddy would really like that."

Both girls immediately were on their feet, smiling at Hermione and racing to the corner of their room where their colouring materials were. Hermione looked back at Ron who was already staring at her in concern.

"I honestly don't know where to find her, Hermione. But... I can't pretend that I'm not really worried. I mean... what if she does something stupid?" Ron muttered to her.

Hermione's chest tightened. She had been worried about Ginny doing something stupid as well. Ginny's temper had always been unpredictable, but the trashing of the apartment had really been unexpected, even for her. Hermione didn't know _what_ she was capable of.

"We can't think like that." Hermione said.

"Don't pretend like you aren't." Ron countered.

Hermione sighed, nudging Ron's shoulder before looking back at Harry. He was tapping his wand to his glass, refilling it with an amber liquid.

"He does this, Hermione. He turns to drinking. It's just how he deals and he knows it's not good but... I don't think he knows exactly how to stop turning to it." Ron explained.

"But... he shouldn't do this in front of Isobel, can't he see that?" Hermione whispered.

"Being a father is new to him. He never had one around, you know that. He doesn't know what to do. Give him some time, okay?" Ron said.

Hermione sighed, running a frustrated hand through her hair. She knew that Ron was right - Harry wasn't going to just defeat all his demons overnight. It was going to take some time and she had to accept that.

"Yeah, alright." Hermione sighed. "Just... Isobel already idolizes him so much. I don't want her to think that drinking is the way to deal with things. I hardly ever drink around her, you know?"

Hermione knew that she was probably over thinking things, but she couldn't help it. When Bliss' ex had been involved in their lives, he had drank _a lot_, especially before beating up Bliss. Since then, both Bliss and Hermione had vowed to hardly ever drink around their kids. They didn't want them growing up thinking that alcohol was even close to the answer for anything.

"You need to talk to him about this if it's bothering you." Ron said.

Hermione nodded. "I know, I know. Just... maybe I should wait until we actually _find_ Ginny."

"She's completely gone off the grid, Hermione. Maybe she just needs some time." Ron offered.

But Hermione knew that that wasn't quite it. She had a bad feeling inside her, one that she couldn't quite be rid of and she wasn't sure why. When they found Ginny - hell, _if_ they found her - Hermione knew that it was going to be more challenging than ever to get through to her.

"But then after that?" Hermione asked.

Ron said nothing, merely squeezing Hermione's shoulder. She looked back at Harry who had poured another glass. Ron nodded at her before getting up and walking over to join Faith and Isobel. Hermione took a deep breath and got up as well, walking towards Harry. By the time she reached him, he had already downed the glass.

"Harry?" Hermione said.

He looked at her, placing a hand on her knee as she sat down next to him. She smiled feebly, removing the glass from his hands and placing it down on the table before them. She could tell by his eyes just how much he had had to drink - and it was more than she had realized. Hermione sighed, grabbing his hand.

"Harry… please stop drinking, alright? It's not the way to deal with things." she whispered.

Harry looked at the floor for a moment before looking up at Hermione and blinking quickly, as if to stop the fall of tears. She watched as he looked across the room at Isobel, colouring quietly with Ron and Faith. He took in a deep breath and looked back at Hermione.

"I don't want her to see me like this." he slurred.

The intensity of the slurring of his words surprised her. She stood up, grabbing one of his hands and helping him to his feet. Almost immediately, Harry stumbled over into Hermione and she struggled to catch him.

"Ron." she called out.

Ron was instantly on his feet and walking over to help Hermione support Harry. She watched Isobel and Faith stare at Harry with wide eyes.

_Shit_, she thought. She really didn't want Isobel to get the wrong impression of her father.

"Alright mate. Let's get you to bed." Ron sighed.

The two friends helped Harry quickly through the living room and into the spare room where he collapsed on the bed. Ron and Hermione exchanged a quick look before looking back at Harry. They both knew just how bad this situation was.

"Did Izzy see me?" Harry asked.

Hermione nodded slowly, knowing there was no point in lying to him. She watched as Harry's eyes widened before becoming filled with intense anger. He slammed his fist into the bed and Hermione jumped.

"_Muffliato._" she heard Ron whisper.

She stepped forward, placing a tentative hand on Harry's shoulder. He looked up at her, the tears streaming down his face.

"What's wrong with me?" he whispered.

His words hurt Hermione immediately. She could _feel_ his pain. She could feel it all so intensely that it almost made her fall over. She never wanted Harry to feel that way. She wished that she could take it all away and hold him in her arms to tell him that it would all be okay.

"Nothing's wrong with you, Harry. You're going to get better. You're going to beat this." she whispered.

Harry laid down on his side and Hermione sat down on the edge of the bed as Ron sat down behind her. She felt Ron's hand on her shoulder and she was grateful for his support.

"There's a monster in my head." Harry mumbled, his voice half muffled by a pillow.

Hermione's breath caught in her chest and she reached out, stroking Harry's cheek gently. She knew that he was referring to the never-ending darkness that seemed to continually throw obstacles at him every single day. She looked back at Ron who was staring at Harry with slightly widened eyes.

"We're going to get you help, mate." Ron said.

Hermione knew that that was what Harry truly needed. He needed more than just them if he wanted to beat it. If he wanted to let go of the guilt and the bad - if he wanted to move past all the terrible things that had happened.

"No." Harry grumbled.

Hermione felt tears stubbornly run down her cheeks. "Yes, Harry. You need help. You need to talk to someone. I don't want Isobel to think that… that this is the way you are when we both know it's not."

Harry was quiet and for a moment Hermione was sure that he had fallen asleep. She looked back at Ron again who squeezed her shoulder and gave her a meaningful look.

"Would you watch the kids for me, please? I just need to sit with him for a bit." Hermione asked.

Ron nodded. "Of course. Take your time."

He leaned close and kissed Hermione's cheek before getting up and shutting the door behind him, leaving the two alone. Hermione looked back at Harry, finding him staring up at her with widened, tear-filled eyes.

"I want to be better for you and Izzy. You deserve… you deserve good." he mumbled.

Hermione stroked Harry's hair softly before leaning down and kissing his cheek. She climbed over him and laid down, facing his back and wrapping her arms around his waist, keeping her close against him.

"It's going to be alright, Harry." she whispered. "I love you and I promise you that."

"I love you, I love you, I love you." Harry whispered.

His voice drifted off and Hermione knew that he had, too. She wanted to stay there for a few more minutes, keeping him close to her until she knew that he was sound asleep and would be for a while. She kissed the back of his neck and let a few more tears slip out of her eyes.

Her mind was swirling with everything that had happened that day. She thought of the mess back at Harry's apartment and knew that she had to get to it and clean before Harry could see it again. She thought of Ginny and how much pain she must be in - and _where_ she could possibly be. She thought of her daughter and the terrified look she had seen on her face when escorting Harry out of the room.

Hermione closed, praying for things to just go right for once.


	15. Headlights on Dark Roads

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** I'm so sorry it's been a while since I've posted. I'm a month into my first year of University and it is CRAZY! I'll try and keep updating as much as I can, please just stick with me and thank you for reading. I'm not too sure how I feel about this chapter, but nevertheless, here it is! PLEASE READ AND REVIEW! xx

**Chapter Fifteen: Headlights on Dark Roads**

Harry wasn't quite sure if he could be anymore ashamed of himself.

He hated that he didn't know how to handle things, let alone himself. He knew that his drinking and drunken behaviour had scared Isobel, and that was already eating him up inside. The last thing he wanted his daughter to be was _afraid_ of him.

"See, darling? Daddy's just fine." Hermione's voice whispered.

As Harry laid in bed with his eyes shut, he heard Hermione's soft voice drift over from the door. He wanted to open his eyes and look at her, but he wasn't sure exactly what he would say.

How could be even begin to apologize for last night?

"But Mummy, is Daddy gonna be like Faithy's Daddy?" Isobel asked.

Harry's heart cringed immediately. Just the thought of Isobel thinking that Harry would turn into anyone remotely like the vile man that was Faith's father made him want to scream.

"No. Never, sweetheart." Hermione whispered. "Your Daddy isn't like that. He just got a bit sad, is all."

"But-but-but-" Isobel started.

Harry recognized the sound of tears in Isobel's voice and it made him fill with dread and sorrow. He was the reason she was crying. Harry opened his eyes and sat up slowly, ignoring the pounding in his head and smiling at Hermione and Isobel.

"Sorry, Harry. We didn't mean to wake you." Hermione said.

Harry could see just how tired Hermione truly was. He took in a breath and silently vowed that he would try and be a better man for her - for both of the girls in front of him. He needed to try and hold himself together. He needed to offer them just as much support as they gave him.

"You didn't. It's alright." Harry said, his voice hoarse.

Hermione caught his eye and smiled at him sadly. He took a breath again and watched as Isobel tucked her head into Hermione's shoulder. She was holding Izzy in her arms, rubbing her back slowly as Isobel shied away.

Had Harry really scared her so much as to make her _afraid_ of him?

"Izzy." he called out.

She looked up at him with widened green eyes, still resting her head against Hermione

"Why don't you and Mummy come and snuggle in bed with me for a little bit?" Harry asked, praying that she would agree. "How does that sound?"

Isobel's face suddenly lit up and she nodded, squirming in Hermione's eyes to be put down. Hermione placed her down on the bed and she crawled towards him. Harry pulled his daughter against him, cradling her close and kissing her forehead.

"Did you sleep well, monkey?" he asked.

"I was scared that you were gonna be like Faithy's Daddy." Isobel whispered.

Harry shook his head, his eyes misting over. He kissed her forehead again before looking back into her fearful eyes.

"I'm not like him, Izzy. I promise you that. I will never be like him." he whispered.

Isobel smiled and cuddled against him again, allowing Harry's heart to fill up. He looked up, finding Hermione still watching them by the door.

"You gonna come join us?" Harry asked with a small smile.

He could tell by her eyes that she was worried about him, but he also knew that she would never say anything in front of Isobel.

"Mummy, come!" Isobel shouted.

Hermione laughed lightly and walked to the bed, getting in next to them. Harry wrapped an arm around Hermione and pulled her close, allowing Isobel to rest on both of them. He looked at Hermione, finding her already staring at him with widened, brown eyes. Without thinking any further, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss against her lips.

"Kiss!" Isobel shouted. "Kisses mean love!"

Harry chuckled as Hermione stared at Isobel in amusement.

"You're right, darling. They do mean love." Hermione offered, resting herself against Harry.

"Daddy, do you love Mummy?" Isobel asked.

"Always, monkey." Harry said, his eyes gliding back to Hermione.

She was staring up at him, concern behind her eyes, but a small smile on her lips. She leaned her head upwards towards his and kissed his lips again, letting them linger for a moment longer.

"Yay!" Isobel squealed.

The squealing hurt the thumping in Harry's head but he decided that he didn't care. It was his own fault, and he would be damned if he let it ruin the moment with his daughter and the love of his life.

He tickled Isobel's stomach, causing her to squeal even louder. Hermione laughed and leaned closer into his side. Harry continued to tickled Isobel as he turned his head and kissed Hermione's temple.

He needed more moments like these in his life - moments where everything felt right and hopeful and happy.

With Hermione and Isobel by his side, he knew it was possible.

**. . .**

"Right so, yesterday we checked all of the pubs, Luna's, Neville's, George's, Bill and Fleur's and…" Ron explained, sighing. "I'm not really too sure where else to look."

Hermione felt Harry stiffen next to her. She squeezed his hand, bringing it to her lips before laying it back down on her lap. Harry had been especially quiet throughout the day. She knew that he felt bad for his drinking yesterday, and was trying to deal with things another way.

Unfortunately, that was silently.

"Maybe she'll come around when she's ready to, you know?" Bliss offered from her spot next to Ron on the armchair.

She was half sitting on Ron's lap, and he had his arm around her waist. Hermione couldn't help but smile inwardly at that. Something had happened with them, and once things calmed down, Hermione wanted to know all about it. She could see that underneath the tiredness in Bliss' eyes due to her pregnancy, she was starting to become truly happy.

"That's what I think, but…" Ron started.

Hermione looked at him, catching his eye before he looked down into his lap. She took in a deep breath and felt Harry squeeze her hand. She looked at him, finding his eyes widened.

"But you're worried that she'll do something stupid." Harry said, his voice hoarse.

Ron nodded slowly. "I went to your place, Harry. It's… it's not looking good."

Hermione watched Harry wince and squeezed his hand again. She watched as he took a deep breath and leaned into Hermione slightly. She wrapped an arm around him, pulling him close to her.

"Everyone knows that she's run off somewhere." Bliss said. "Everyone's on the lookout. I'm not really sure what else there is to do."

"When we find her, Harry… what exactly are we telling her?" Hermione whispered.

Harry sat back up, his eyes wide again. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, seemingly thinking over Hermione's question. She knew that there would be no point to keep anything from Ginny, but just how honest were they going to be?

"That Isobel's my daughter and I didn't know until you came back. That she was conceived during the War. That I'm in love with you and want to become a proper family with you and our daughter." Harry said.

Hermione felt her cheeks flush slightly as she stared at him, blinking her eyes to try and absorb his words. That was pretty much about as honest as she could get. A part of her wanted to try and lay it easily on Ginny, but she knew that that was impossible now. Ginny knew about Isobel, and it was becoming clear that she had known about Harry's feelings for Hermione all along.

"Harry…" Hermione started.

He shook his head. "No, 'Mione. That's the truth and we're not bending it in anyway. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and Isobel, trying to make up for all the time we've already lost together. And I love you and I'm done pretending that I don't."

Hermione nodded slowly at him, taking in his words. He leaned close and pressed a slow kiss on her lips, cradling her face. She pulled away much sooner than she would have liked, being very aware that Ron, Bliss and the girls were still in the room.

"I mean it, okay?" Harry whispered. "I don't want to pretend anymore."

Hermione nodded again as he pulled her into his arms, cradling her softly. She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed, closing her eyes. He rubbed her back softly and she pressed a kiss against his neck.

Before anyone could say anything else, they heard an eruption of flames in the fireplace. Everyone's eyes followed the light as Faith and Isobel got up from their spot left of the fireplace and ran towards their mothers. Hermione scooped up Isobel and placed her between her and Harry, placing a kiss atop her head.

What if it was Ginny?

Hermione's heart began to pound rapidly, bracing herself for the sight of red hair. She squeezed Harry's hand and pulled Isobel close to her, her breath escaping her in a sigh when she saw the white blonde hair of Fleur.

"Fleur. Hi." Ron called out, the surprise in his voice evident.

Hermione could tell that Fleur didn't often drop by Ron's flat unannounced. She smiled softly at him before taking a few steps over to Hermione, Harry and Isobel. She could see the urgency in her eyes and Hermione braced herself again.

"Izzy, you remember Auntie Fleur from the first night here? And all the pictures I've shown you?" Hermione asked.

Isobel nodded quickly. "Hi Auntie Fleur!"

Fleur smiled softly. "Bonjour, Izzy."

As Fleur looked back at them, the smile was almost immediately gone. Hermione looked up at Bliss who was already nodding at her, leaving her seat to stand with Faith's hand in hers.

"Come on, Izzy. We're going to go play in the other room for a bit, okay?" Bliss said.

"Ron, you come, too!" Faith suddenly shouted.

Ron looked at Faith, and Hermione saw a certain kind of tenderness in his eyes that she knew she had never seen before. She almost wanted to say something but knew it was neither the time nor place.

"Alright." Ron said, standing up.

He walked over to Harry and Hermione, lifting Isobel out of their laps. She nestled into his arms and Hermione smiled, happy that she was getting along so well with her _Uncle_ Ron.

"Tell me everything after, yeah?" Ron muttered.

Both Harry and Hermione nodded at Ron as Fleur took a seat in his former spot. Hermione looked at Harry who was staring down at his hands with widened eyes. She knew that he was frightened about Ginny, even more so than he was admitting.

"What's happened, Fleur?" Hermione asked.

Fleur sighed, shaking her head. "Nothing 'appened, exactly. Eet eez just about Ginny. She eez at Shell Cottage."

Hermione gasped, her eyes widening. She had _not_ been expecting that place whatsoever. While Bill and Fleur still owned Shell Cottage, they no longer lived there, having moved out not long after the end of the War - according to one of Ginny's letters that Hermione had received in Australia.

"Did she say anything to you?" Hermione asked.

Fleur shook her head. "No. Nothing. Just that she needed to get away from 'ere and… and 'arry and you. She came to my 'ome and asked for ze keys last night. I don't know where she was before zat."

"Why'd you give them to her?" Harry suddenly snapped.

Hermione rested her hand on Harry's knee and looked at him, wishing to calm him with her eyes. His eyes were narrowed until they met hers, and he softened, wrapping an arm around her waist.

"I couldn't say no, 'arry." Fleur sighed. "She was so upset. I think all she needs is some time."

"Thank you, Fleur." Hermione said, before Harry could say anything else.

Fleur smiled softly at her. "I couldn't not say anything to you, 'ermione. All I want is 'appiness for your daughter."

Hermione smiled feebly, her eyes welling up in tears as she thought of being in Shell Cottage after the attack at Malfoy Manor - how she had begged Fleur to help her - to help save her baby.

"You were the first person I ever told about my pregnancy." Hermione said, her voice a whisper. "I realized just how wonderful it was when your Healer friend told me it was a girl. I'll forever be grateful to you for getting her there."

"You were fine, 'ermione." Fleur said.

Hermione shook her head. "But I wouldn't have known that without you. And you promised to… to try and do everything you could if something happened to me during the Final Battle. And that still means everything to me. I don't think I would have been able to get through it without knowing that you were willing to try and save her."

She felt Harry shake next to her and she turned, finding him staring at her with widened eyes. She squeezed his hand and nodded encouragingly at him.

"It's all fine, Harry." she whispered.

"I know, just… hearing you talk about that…" he sighed, shaking his head and looking down.

Hermione scooted closer to him, pressing her hand to his cheek. "Harry, you couldn't have done anything. I don't regret my decision to not tell you before the end of the War. You needed to be as focused as you could."

He nodded slowly at her before turning his eyes to Fleur. "Thank you for making sure that she was okay. That _they_ were okay."

"Of course, 'arry." Fleur said softly.

"Now what do we do? I don't really think Ginny would appreciate us barging into Shell Cottage." Hermione said.

She could picture it quite clearly in her mind - Harry and Hermione knocking on the door, Ginny opening it and blasting them with a curse into oblivion. She shook her head to rid it of the image and looked back at Harry.

"I think zat she needs time, and zat she will approach you when she is ready." Fleur added.

Hermione sighed, knowing that Fleur was right. All they could really do was wait. If they went to Ginny before she was ready to listen to them, who knew what would happen? It would turn out worse than anyone wanted. Harry took a deep breath, looking at Hermione.

She recognized a look of defeat in his eyes. Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close, kissing his cheek as she did so. He hugged her tightly and she rubbed his back.

"She's right." Hermione whispered.

"I know she is." he muttered back.

They pulled away and looked back at Fleur who was on her feet, smiling at them both. Hermione stood up, letting Fleur pull her into a tight hug.

"Thank you, Fleur." she whispered. "For everything."

"I always 'ad a secret 'ope that you two would be together." Fleur whispered back. "Eet eez perfect."

Hermione pulled away and laughed, wiping her eyes as tears began to form. Fleur touched her shoulder, squeezing it gently before stepping to the side and hugging Harry for a quick moment.

"If I hear anything else zat I think you should know, I will tell you." Fleur said with a nod.

The two thanked Fleur once again before saying goodbye and watching as she Flooed away, leaving them alone. Harry placed his hands on Hermione's hips, pulling her close to him. He rested his forehead against hers and she took in a deep breath as his eyes poured into hers.

"There's nothing we can do right now, is there?" he whispered.

"I'm afraid not." she whispered back.

Harry pressed his lips to hers slowly, a hand coming up to cradle the back of her neck. They kissed for a long moment until Hermione pulled away and hugged him close, resting her head on his shoulder.

"There's nothing we can do now but live." he whispered.

Hermione closed her eyes, wondering how they were going to do just that.


	16. Madness

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing except for my ideas. Everything else belongs to J.K. Rowling.

**Author's Note:** thank you so much for all the reviews and for sticking with me for this long! first year is absolute madness, and i'll try and post as frequently as I can - please don't give up on me! xx PLEASE READ AND REIVEW! xx

**Chapter Sixteen: Madness**

"Hermione, do I really have to do this?"

Hermione sighed at him and he knew that he shouldn't have asked again - he already knew that he had to do it. There was no other option. If he wanted to get better for himself, for Hermione and for Isobel… he had to talk to someone. He had to get help.

"Harry, we've talked about this." she whispered, grasping both of his hands in hers.

He nodded slowly and looked up at the door again. Behind that closed door was his new therapist - some woman named Constance Marigold. Her name was just already way too cheerful to handle. Him, Ron, Hermione and Bliss had already spent a few hours making fun of her, before they knew that they had to be serious. Apparently she was one of the best in her field, and that was truly what Harry needed.

"I know, I know." Harry sighed. "It's just…"

"I know it's going to be difficult, but you know you need to do this. It'll help you, Harry. And that's what's important." Hermione said, her voice soft.

It had been two weeks since Ginny had destroyed their flat. Ron and George had cleaned it up for him a few days afterwards and now Harry was back living there.

Alone.

Both Harry and Hermione had decided that it wouldn't be fair of them to live there together, and they didn't want to move too fast just yet. So, Hermione and Isobel stayed with Ron, while Harry stayed alone. Of course, he spent almost all day everyday with the two of them. Bliss and Faith were staying with Ron as well, making his flat a bit cramped, but Harry knew that Ron was enjoying it. He could see just how attached he was to Bliss and Faith now.

He had been meaning to talk to Hermione about finding their own place together, but he really wasn't sure what she would say.

Would it be moving too fast?

Sure they had a daughter together, and had been in love for years, but they had never really _been_ together. What if Hermione wanted to leave England again?

Harry would go with her to Australia, there was no question about it.

But, he knew that he couldn't leave without speaking to Ginny. Many of her things were still at the flat, but she never was. She was still residing in Shell Cottage. Ron and George had been to check on her multiple times, but she had hardly spoken to them, merely making them a drink and then sitting in silence. Ron had told Harry that she had said she would talk when she was ready, except no one really had any idea when that would be.

Harry didn't feel any guilt at being with Hermione in public anymore, however. Ginny had left the engagement ring behind, meaning they were no longer engaged. He felt guilty about the whole ordeal of course, but he was trying not to focus on it because it truly was making him crazy.

"I'll be right here the whole time, okay?" Hermione said, squeezing his hands. "I'll be here waiting for you."

Harry nodded slowly, looking at her. She had her hair pulled back into a loose ponytail and just a hint of mascara on her eyelashes. He pulled away one hand from her grip to gently graze her cheek. She blushed slightly and smiled at him.

"I'll try not to be in a sour mood after." Harry sighed.

Hermione leaned in closer, kissing his nose. "I'll still love you if you are."

Every time Hermione said that she loved him, Harry felt a strange kind of thrill. He could listen to her say it all day and it would never _ever_ get old. He leaned in and kissed her lips gently, letting them linger for as long as he knew she would deem publicly acceptable. She sighed slightly when he pulled away, pressing her lips back onto his for another brief moment.

"I want to take you out tonight." Harry whispered.

She pulled back, raising her eyebrows at him. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean… we've never really gone on a date, have we?" he said with a shrug. "And I want to do something nice for you."

"Harry, you don't have to do anything nice for me." Hermione sighed, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Let me take you out for dinner, okay? I really would like to." he said.

Hermione nodded, smiling widely at him. "Okay."

Before Harry could say anything else the door opened and he felt his stomach turn up in knots. What the hell was he thinking thinking that he could talk to someone about his _feelings_? He didn't even know what his feelings _were_. He supposed that that was the point of all this, but that didn't make him any less afraid.

Constance Marigold stepped out, her auburn hair in a long, messy plait over her shoulder. She smiled at the two of them, pushing her glasses off of her face and atop her head. She stepped forward reaching out a hand automatically.

"Hi. I'm Constance." she said cheerfully. "You must be Hermione Granger and Harry Potter."

Harry stood up, feeling Hermione do the same as she gripped his hand in support. He held out his hand, nodding at Constance as she shook his firmly.

"Lovely to meet both of you. I've heard so much about you." she said.

Hermione smiled. "Yes, nice to meet you, too."

"Right well. Harry, if you just come on in, we can get started." Constance said.

Harry turned to Hermione and he knew that she could see the panic reflected in his eyes. She cupped his face with her hands and stepped closer.

"It's going to be fine, okay?" Hermione murmured, her voice soft. "Just be honest with her. Trust her. I'll be right out here waiting for you."

He nodded and she kissed him. He let himself go slightly in the kiss, and when they pulled away, he felt slightly better.

That was until he looked at Constance again and immediately wanted to bolt to a bottle of FireWhiskey.

Clearly, that was why he was here. So he _didn't_ do those kind of things.

"I love you." he whispered to Hermione.

She smiled. "I love you. Now go on."

He pulled away from her and followed Constance into her office. He had expected a somewhat sunny and bright atmosphere in her office, like her name and outward demeanour. She was wearing yellow robes, after all. But he found that it was quite plain - it relaxed him slightly.

"I didn't realize you two were romantically involved." Constance said, gesturing for him to sit down on the brown couch as she sat in an armchair.

Harry nodded slowly. "It's a relatively new relationship… sort of."

"Sort of?" she asked, summoning a quill and parchment on a clipboard towards her.

He knew that she was going to take notes on him - he had realized that beforehand. But now, seeing her _actually_ doing it? It freaked him right out.

"Well… we've got an almost three year old daughter together." he said, his words falling out quickly.

She smiled at that, making a note. "And what's her name?"

Harry could do this. He could talk about Isobel. He could talk about Isobel forever if someone let him, really.

"Isobel." he said, unable to fight a smile from forming on his lips.

"Very lovely name. Are you two close?" she asked.

Harry took in a deep breath. "Well, yes. But… I only found out about her a little over a month ago."

Constance kept a straight face at that and Harry was glad. At least she was seemingly professional. He supposed that she was trained to not make judgements.

"How did you handle that?" she asked.

Harry winced slightly, thinking about how he had drank himself silly the night Hermione had arrived. It took him a minute, but then he told her. He explained the whole story, including Ginny. Not once did Constance make a judging statement or let an expression of judgement fall upon her face. And for that, Harry was extremely glad.

**. . .**

Hermione tapped her knee nervously.

She knew that it had taken a lot of strength for Harry to go in there. She wished desperately that she could have gone in with him, but she knew that she couldn't. Maybe he would be more honest without her there. Maybe he would be able to speak freely about how he was really feeling.

He had been in there for 45 minutes, and Hermione had just been sitting and thinking. She had brought a book with her, but had not as so much taken it out of her bag since he had gone in. She knew that she wouldn't be able to focus on it. The only thing she could focus on in that moment was Harry.

The door opened and Hermione's breath caught in her throat - Harry still had 15 minutes of his session left. What had happened? Was he alright?

Constance poked her head out with a warm smile. "Hermione, would you mind coming in?"

Hermione's eyes widened as she nodded. She hadn't been expecting that at all. She understood Harry's hesitance to talk to anyone about how he was feeling - she didn't like to talk about it either. She had repressed a lot of her issues for a long time now, focusing solely on Isobel and being a single mom.

She walked in, finding Harry sitting on the couch, glasses off with red-rimmed eyes. She sat down next to him immediately, taking his hand and bringing it to her lips. He looked at her - he wasn't crying, but there was evidence that he had been. Her heart pinched painfully at the thought of him crying and she leaned in, kissing his cheek.

"Alright?" she asked softly.

"Alright." he answered.

She looked back at Constance, finding her sitting in an armchair across from them. She had a clipboard, parchment and a quill at the ready, and Hermione could see her quick scrawl of notes from throughout Harry's appointment, though she could not make out anything.

"How has life been since you came back to England, Hermione?" Constance asked.

Hermione blinked slightly. She had not been expecting a question asked directly _about_ her to her. She took in a deep breath and Harry gripped her hand tighter, bringing it to his lips for a brief moment before resting them both on her lap.

"It's been…" Hermione said. "It's been very overwhelming. In both good and bad ways."

"What do you mean?" Constance asked.

"It's been a lot to handle… telling Harry about Isobel and dealing with Ginny and… yeah. But it's been lovely, too. England is my home. These people are my home." Hermione continued, trying her best not to let her voice waver.

Constance nodded at her kindly. "And how do you think Harry's been doing?"

Hermione looked at him, finding Harry staring down at the ground. She watched his knee bounce restlessly and freed her hand from his to rest it there. He still didn't look up at her.

"He's having a hard time. That's why he's here." Hermione said.

"You pushed him to come here today."

"I didn't _push_ him. I encouraged him, yes."

"Why?"

Suddenly, Hermione felt incredibly defensive. Even though it was only Harry in the room apart from her and Constance, she felt like she was being put under a microscope with every eye on her. Had she made a wrong decision in asking Harry to come here? What if she had just made everything worse? Hermione herself had never received counselling, even though she knew that she should have, especially right after the War.

"Because I knew that he needed help. That he could't keep floating along through all the bad things on his own. I wanted him to get better." Hermione whispered.

"Did you want him to be a better father?" Constance asked.

Hermione instantly felt protective. "Harry is a brilliant father, especially only having just found out that he is one. I want him to get better for _him_, as well as for our daughter. I don't want her to see him hurting - just like I don't want her to see _me_ hurting."

Constance smiled again and nodded, scrawling down on her parchment. "And how is Isobel adjusting to having both of her parents in her life?"

Hermione smiled softly at that one. "She's loving it. She's known about Harry for a little while now and always wanted to meet him. It's been wonderful for her. She just don't understand why her Dad is so sad sometimes."

"And what have you been telling her?" Constance asked.

"Kind of the truth. That he's been sad for a while and needs a little help getting happy again, but he's getting better." Hermione explained with a shrug.

Constance nodded, her shift changing to Harry. "And Harry, is it true? Are you getting better?"

Harry cleared his throat and slid his glasses back onto his face before looking at Hermione. She nodded encouragingly at him. She knew that whatever Harry said, it wouldn't really matter to her. If he still felt the same way he had before Hermione had come back into his life, she wouldn't blame him, and she wouldn't support him any less.

"I have the love of my life and my daughter around me. That makes it better. A million times better." Harry explained, his voice hoarse. "But… I'm still far from being okay."

"Do you two have a plan? For your future together? Assuming that you're heading forward into the future together." Constance said.

The two looked at each other, locking eyes. Despite the sadness in Harry's eyes, his lips lit up in a small smile as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"We are." he whispered. "As for a plan… well, we're still working on that."

"Day to day." Hermione added.

Harry smiled at her again and wrapped his arm around her waist. She let out a breath as he pulled her close, letting her know that everything was okay with his actions.

"Day to day."

. . .

"But Mummy! I want to come with you and Daddy!" Isobel pouted.

Harry watched as Hermione bent down to try and reason with Isobel. The two were leaving her with Ron, Bliss and Faith for the night while they went out for their date. Harry really didn't know how Hermione was saying no to her - he found it incredibly difficult.

"Darling, we need to have some grownup time, okay?" Hermione said, her voice soft. "We need to talk about some things. Besides, you'll have more fun with Auntie Bliss, Uncle Ron and Faith, okay? You can play all you want."

"But-but-but -" Isobel stammered.

Hermione scooped Isobel up into her arms and walked over to Harry, joining him in the middle of the living room. Bliss and Ron were sitting on the couch with Faith in Ron's lap as Ron's arm was thrown casually around Bliss' shoulder.

"Mummy and Daddy are just going to be in a restaurant doing very boring grownup things, okay?" Hermione sighed.

Isobel pouted but nodded her head before burying her face in Hermione's shoulder. Harry stepped closer and ran his hand over Isobel's dark hair before pressing a kiss to Hermione's forehead.

"We won't be long, okay monkey?" Harry whispered.

"And we'll have fun! Won't we, Izzy?" Bliss asked.

Isobel poked out her head to look at Harry and Bliss before nodding and smiling. Harry leaned in and kissed his daughter's forehead, watching Hermione do the same before setting Isobel down on the couch to join Faith on Ron's lap.

Harry reached out and took Hermione's hand, letting his eyes run over her. She was wearing a short, purple dress cinched with a skinny black belt in the middle that showed off her curves. Her long brown hair was flowing naturally down her back, and she had light makeup on. He liked it when she looked natural - he knew that he was really looking at her that way. The way he was used to her. The way he found her the most beautiful, and always had. Hermione had hardly ever worn makeup at Hogwarts, and she still didn't need to.

"Ready?" he asked.

Hermione nodded, smiling at him. The two waved goodbye to their daughter and friends before Harry apparated them away, arriving in the alleyway just outside a Muggle Italian restaurant. They stepped around the corner and the sight came into view. He knew that Hermione liked to dine at Muggle places every once and a while - something he had remembered her telling him in Hogwarts one year.

"Are we eating here?" she asked, a grin on her lips.

He nodded, unable to help smiling back. "If that's alright with you."

Hermione immediately grabbed his hand and pulled him eagerly to the restaurant. He laughed as she squealed with excitement. Just before they reached the door, he lunged forward to grab her waist. She laughed as he pulled her back against him, turning her around to face him.

"What?" she asked.

He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kissed her nose. He shook his head slowly before kissing her lips. As they kissed, he felt her arms come around him and he knew that there was nothing better than kissing Hermione Granger. He honestly wasn't sure how they had spent all that time around one another in Hogwarts without ever kissing once.

"Harry, you make me feel mad, you know that?" she whispered, breathless when they pulled away. "Absolutely mad."

He chuckled slightly, kissing her forehead before turning her around and ushering her back towards the door.

"It's just you and me and the madness, love." he whispered. "You, me, and the madness."

"Hasn't it always been that way?" she joked, pulling open the door to the small, Italian bistro.

He nodded, kissing her cheek from behind before placing a hand on the small of her back and stepping inside.

"You and me and the wonderful madness."


End file.
